THE REBEL IN ME

I stood transfixed, looking but not really seeing anything; wondering how I got to be in midst of this sea of strangers. They look happy and staring at me like I had won an important trophy or something and what is that song they're singing? It sounds so out of tune, It must be my birthday; how else can I explain the crowd? Suddenly a very familiar voice jolted me back to reality. "When my world got ruined, reshaped and rebuild everything else changed. You were the only one that stayed the same. You taught me the true meaning of love" he said. On bended knees with the most beautiful ring I have ever seen, he said "Joyce will you marry me? My first instinct was to scream at the top of my lungs and say I'm a Joy not a Joyce but instead I just stood there, staring at the ring but not really seeing anything. My thoughts were a million miles away, this is all I ever wanted I said to myself but why do I feel so lost, Why do I feel like I belong to a different time and place? With the little crowd that had gathered cheering us on, all I had to do is look him straight in the eyes with the most beautiful smile on my face and say YES, easy peezy yeah? In an instant, the lost look in my eyes were gone, replaced by something else. I tried putting on that smile that says yes I want to marry you but I couldn't so instead of Yes, I heard myself saying "I am lactose intolerant, do you know that? My body system cannot digest milk, and do you know that I am allergic to all things nuts? Suddenly he is the one with the lost look in his eyes, he's probably thinking a public proposal is such a bad idea and just maybe he never really knew me at all...