Help me , Mister

Lub Dub ! Lub Dub ! Lub Dub ! That is the sound of my heart beating as I wait for the inevitable. I already know what is coming for me and I wouldn't say I am not afraid because I know I am . It was not always like this , you know? Waiting in the dark with my heart beating so fast and loud . My hands wet and clammy because of the sweat .I do not know where we went wrong but I know we are not like before . The first time this happened I blamed it on the stress . I never knew this could happen to me because of so many reasons . One of them is because we were so happy together nothing could separate us . I was wrong , very wrong . We used to go to the park together , celebrate every birthday and holiday together but now all that is just a distant memory . I remember my first birthday with him , it was the best i've ever had since the death of my parents . I never wanted us to end up like this , you know ? I guess it was written in the stars that we will fall out before we even reach our 5th anniversary . Speaking of anniversaries , tomorrow is our 2nd year anniversary and maybe he will remember how happy we once were . I hope he sees that we were put together for a reason. I love him . Yes , i do and I will not deny that even if it hurts . I know he loves me too but he is just confused . I never thought I would feel like this but I guess you cannot help who you fall for . I fell in love with him the moment , he looked in my eyes and promised to never let tears fall from my eyes . He made many promises and he broke all of them . He promised he will never forsake me but here I am crying in the dark alone and he is the reason . He promised infront of the crowd and I also promised I will never leave him , which is why I am still sitting here in the dark waiting for him to come home . I am in pain . I cannot describe the pain I am feeling right now . My heart feels like it is torn into pieces . My heart feels like it is reaped out of my chest and is being stepped on . My heart is bleeding profusely and there is nothing I can do but endure the pain I am feeling. " You are precious , my baby . Never let anyone change that . Don't let yourself go . You are a rare beauty , anyone will be lucky to have you. " , those were the words my father spoke on my 16th birthday . They always kept me going but right now there is a seed of doubt in my mind . I am starting to doubt if anyone is lucky to have me . My father was my strength and he always knew how to cheer me up . I was the closest to my father . I was my father's daughter . My mother was my motivator , the one I turn to when days are dark . I love and miss them so.... I can hear the sound of the doorknob and the door opening but I don't think I am ready for this . This is complete torture . I hate this and I hate myself . How can I allow this to happen ? I can hear the footsteps nearing the kitchen and I am still not ready . As fast as I could I put on my fake my smile that I practised all this time. The light is turned on abruptly and I get startled even though I already know he is here . "Hello there , little wife ."