ROSES ARE NOT BLUE

let's bring back the memories

"Did i heard it right?" Ami asked na parang hindi mapakapaniwala, tumingin naman silang lahat sa akin na parang nag aantay din ng sagot ko so i cleared my throat before i start.

"Uh yes, I'm graduated in med school way back when I'm in US, sinabi kasi sa akin na Ami na isa sa mga gusto nyang maging husband is a Doctor so i set aside my dream as a engineer and studied medicine first so that pagbalik ko may ipagmamalaki ako sayo, i mean sa inyo" i said while seriously looking on Ami na ngayon ay nakatingin din sa akin with a teary eyed.

I'm slowly approaching her nang makita ko na nag sign si Rase na i should stop but i didn't mind him, i continue my walk on approaching Ami, i said want to explain everything.

" Let's talk privately then Xenon" she said as she led the way hindi na nya inantay na makalapit akong tuluyan sa kanya. I just followed her until nakarating kami sa rooftop. I still remember everytime she's saying na her favorite spot in a building is the rooftop.

Flashback

" Hon let's go" Ami said while hinihila ako na parang batang nay gustong ipabili. Nagpapahatak lang ako sa kanya 'cause she's cute everytime na napipikon na sya.

" Where are we going?" i asked her with a serious tone to joke her but sineryoso nya ata kasi binitawan nya yung kamay ko and she faced me that made me shiver.

"Sa rooftop sana but it looks like ayaw mo naman so it's okay ako nalang pupunta don just wait me at the office then, may ipapakita lang sana ako sayo but i suddenly realized that you can look at it naman through the window, for me lang kasi mas maganda if sa rooftop but it's okay hon stay ka nalang sa office mo I'll be right back" she said as she walked away on me and let go of my hand.

Nakokonsensya naman ako sa pinag gagagawa ko dapat joke lang e kaso sineryoso naman nya para tuloy akong nagmukang alang pake sa kanya e kahit nga sa bangin pa kami sumilip sisilip ako just for her, I'll do everything.

I ran to approach her and held her hand and led the way to the rooftop nakita ko naman sa peripheral view ko na she smiled at me. Ang babaw lang talaga ng kaligayahan ng batang to.

After namin makarating sa rooftop sumalubong agad ang malamig na hangin, well it's already 7 pm so understanding na iba na talaga ang simoy ng hangin lalo na at nasa rooftop kami.

I remove my coat and put it on Ami's shoulder. Kahit kasi naka long sleeves sya alam ko na ramdam nya yung lamig, mahina pa naman sya sa lamig.

"Akala ko ba ayaw mo?" she said while looking at me habang nililinis ko yung bench. "I can't remember na may sinabi akong ayaw ko" i said and signed her to sit down pero hindi sya umupo ay nanatiling nakatayo at naka harap sa akin habang seryosong nakatingin.

I sat on the bench and rest my arms sa sandalan ng bench pero nang makita ko ma ayaw talaga umupo ni Ami i slightly pull her so sat down on my lap. Kusa naman syang umalis, alam ko naman na yun lang makapag papaupo sa kanya.

"Look hon" i said as i turn my face to her and hold her chin to face me. "I just asked if saan tayo pupunta kahit alam ko naman, but i didn't expect na you'll react that way and also hindi ako papayag na aalis ka without me and excuse me little miss it's already 7 pm sa tingin mo talaga papayag ako na umalis ka while wearing this clothes?" i said as I'm buttoning the upper part of her clothes 'cause it's kinda revealing her cleavage even though 2 buttons lang naman ang nakabukas.

Hindi naman sa strict ako masyado but gabi na kasi and she's only wearing a pencil skirt tas naka bukas pa dalawang button ng damit nya, she's too hot.

"I don't want to say it but alam ko na papanoorin natin dito yung full moon ngayon, i know that you're a selenophile. Ang hindi ko lang alam is bakit you wanted na dito natin sya panoorin e takot ka sa heights hon, can I know the reason behind this?" i ask her as i saw a smile formed in her face.

"Maganda kasi yung view dito hon and hindi ako nakakaramdam ng takot everytime na nasa rooftop ako kasi na eenjoy ko naman yung view and the moment" she said as she looked at me when she said the word "moment", i know hon.

"You really trust me that much hon" i said as i slightly pinching her cheeks. She just giggled like a child, i really love this woman. I looked at her confused whenshe stand and remove the my coat in her shoulder, mahina yung katawan nya sa lamig so she can't just remove it that easily.

She just smiled at me and led her hand to me so my lips automatically formed a smirk. I pulled her closer to me as soon as i held her hand. "Let's dance" sabay pa na bulong naming parehas sa isat isa, we laugh as soon as we realized that we get a signal form each other.

We dance the night away and enjoyed the moment we're making right now. I can't explain the feeling everytime I'm with her specially when I'm dancing with her with slow music while looking directly on to her eyes.

"I love you" we mouthed to each other. The moon is the witness on how we dance the night away and how we appreciate luna.

We enjoyed the night and the moon while we're dancing close to each other feeling the moment and each other's love, i don't want this night to end.

End of flashback

I smiled when i remember that time and looked at Ami na kumakain ng fries ngayon. I'm now holding a tumbler of water for her 'cause she needs it, she had uti since then kaya need nya talaga ng tubig everytime na kakain sya lalo na kapag maalat or matatamis.

Nasa rooftop na kami ngayon, pagdating namin dito tumayo agad sya sa harap ng araw na tila mo namang kinakausap nya ito, it's because she loves sunset.

I led her the water bottle but she just looked at it and smiled at me, i know. The tumbler that I'm using everytime is the tumbler that he buy for me.

"You still have it" she said while looking at me, i just nod. "Of course, my home gave me this" i said while slowly walking towards her. She's now walking backwards, as soon as i saw that she's near on the near i quickly swap our position para hindi sya tumama yung likod nya sa wall, i guess i startled her by doing that.

"Let's talk" she said to break the silence between us. I looked at her intently as patiently waiting on what she'll say to me.

"Totoo ba yung sinabi mo kanina?" she said, i left a sigh before answering her. "Of course why would i lie to you, you said that you want a doctor husband so i do it" i said, i get panicked when i saw a tear falling down on her cheeks, you dumb idiot Xenon what did you do.

I quickly get my towel and gently wipe her tears away on her cheeks, she's just looking down so i hold her chin and up it so that i can see her and wipe her tears.

"T-then why Xen, why d-did you leave me that easily? Am i not enough for you Xen? I-i love you that much b-but y-you left me" she said while continuously crying while looking to my eye.

I can see her pain on it, as she's saying those words. I don't to tell her the reason 'cause it's too dumb, and she hates dumb people but what can i do i don't want to loose her again.

I immediately hug her and she cry over my shoulder,i calm her down by caressing her back and telling that i can explain everything to her right now. When she calm down, i decided to tell her everything on where it starts and what's the reason behind it.

Flashback

Our family business got a problem and dad got into a car accident when he's going to his office one time. He needs a more advance medicine that's why we decided to go to the US for dads early recovery and also to fix out family business problem.

Actually i don't want to go there because of Ami but i need to, but we promised to each other that when everything's fine we will meet again and continue our love story together, i hope so.

I'm at the library, suddenly my phone lighten up as a sign that i just receive a notification. When i check it, it was from our gc, a gc with my friends, Rase, Blair and Blake and of course Axe the one and only brother of my loving girlfriend, Ami.

Napakunot nalang ako ng noo ng makitang nag send ng picture si Blair kung saan may isang lalaking may pasa sa muka at dugo sa labi? the heck they're doing.

"Look what i got" Blair said na parang proud pa sa sinabi nya. "What the hell on earth is that Blair i tell you to watch out for Ami while i'm not in school so bakit may kabugbugan ka naman agad bigla" Axe replied to Blair i guess he's in the office.

"Wait i know that guy" Rase replied as Blake reacted a haha on it. "I know you guys know him, nakita ko kanina si Ami kausap yan i mean kaaway" Blair said so i put down the book and focus on what will they say. I decided to call to them and they answered it.

"So Xen don't be angry to us okay kahit kay Ami actually sa real lang sasampalin na dapat talaga siya ni Ami but i saw her and then the rest was history" he said on our call.

"Since you left naging bahay and school, office nalang naging punatahan ni Ami, and aalis lang sya pag kasama kami hindi sya umaalis ng siya lang" Rase said.

"Pero what the f**k Blair bakit may bugbugan na naganap dyan sa school ay talagang sa harap pa talaga ni Ami, do you want me to punch you right on your face ha?!" Axe said, ayaw nga pala nya na nakaka witness si Ami ng mga gantong bagay without knowing we're always watching crime series and murder cases ang laging gustong panoorin or basahin ni Ami.

"Shut up Axe kung alam mo lang if ano gagawin ng kapatid mo kanina, pati ikaw matatakot sa kanya, and pinaalis ko naman si Ami before i punch that man" Blair said, hindi ako nagsasalita or nag sasabi ng side ko dahil out of nowhere nararamdamn ko na may kakaiba sa ulo ko, sumasakit na naman sya.

"Matagal na syang suitor ni Ami" Rase said that ne look at them. "What?" i said to them while didn't minding the hurt on my head.

"Ami said to me that he's always going in their room giving her some ice cream but she's always giving it to her friends or sometimes hindi na nya tinatanggap pag ala namang nakatingin sa kanila, she also said to me na matagal na nyang sinasabi na guy na ayaw nya don pero ayaw daw tumitigil, sabi ko nga try to reject that man in public pero masyadong malambot puso ng batang yon, naaawa daw sya na mapahiya yon" Rase said.

" I gotta go" i said 'cause i can't handle the pain anymore and i decided to go to the my doctor my results is now out.

So now I'm here at the clinic, waiting for Ms Chas my doctor to see the results on how it went. We talk about it she said that everything was normal on me but at my CT scan she found something in it.

I had a brain tumor, my soul left me when i knew that. She said that i need to undergo a sensitive surgery for me able to survive.

I said that to mom and i decided not to tell about it to Ami i don't want her to worried about me.

Everything get worse and i don't know what to do but then Ami called. I can see that she's happy to see me but i felt ashamed to myself that I'm lying to my girl that I'm fine.

I remember about her suitor so even though i hate arguments, i argue with her

about her suitor. Ayaw ko man gawin pero mas masasaktan ako pag nakita ko syang nahihirapan at nasasaktan dahil sa akin.

Alam ko ang mangyayari once na nalaman nya na i have brain tumor, pupunta sya dito and she will leave everything behind just for me.

Ayokong mangayari yon na iiwan nya lahat ng dahil lang sakin. Nilayuan ko sya, i block her and didn't use social media, tiniis ko yon dahil nararamdamn ko na rin na nahihirapan na ko.

Nalaman nila mom kung ano yung ginawa ko and they get mad at me. Nagalit sila sa akin na umabot sa puntong hindi na nila ko pinapansin, they just hired a nurse to take care of me then hindi nila ko kinakausap. They loved Ami that much.

It's been a year and a half, I'm still fighting for my life and nadadala naman yung tumor sa gamot kaya malapit na din akong gumaling.

Nag kakaayos na rin kami ng parents ko as i say na babalikan ko si Ami. Ginawa ko yon, i tried to reach her out to talk about it, i flew from US to Philippines just to see her again and explain everything.

I'm now on the airport and kukunin ko nalang ung maleta ko when i bumped someone, I'm wearing a mask kaya siguro hindi nya ko nakilala but i know who she is.

It's Ami, I'm shock and amazed on what i saw. She's wearing a oversize jacket and it's open so i can see that she's wearing a sleeveless crop top and a short.

She's freaking hot with her bun style and with her glasses. Pero she didn't wear this kind of dress when we're together sabi nya ayaw nya daw lumalabas ng naka ganto.

Bumalik naman ako sa ulirat ng mag sorry sya at mabilis na tumakbo kung saan. Nakita ko naman na naka harap sa kanya yung kambal and patted her head. Si Rase naman ay matiim na tinitingnan si Ami so Ami hugged her while looking on his face and smiling at him.

Nagseselos ako and nasasaktan sa nakikita ko. Tinanggal naman ni Rase ang pagkaka akap sa kanya ni Ami and zipper up her jacket hanggang leeg .

I also saw Axe walking towards them while holding an ice cream and he's shock to see Ami there. Napaka ganda ni Ami she changed a lot. If dati mahaba na hanggang bewang ang buhok nya ngayon Naman ay naka soft wolf cut ito na lalong nagpaganda sa kanya. She's freaking hot and cool at the same time.

Inabot naman ni Axe yung hawak nyang ice cream kay Ami at nakita ko naman na tuwang tuwa si Ami, how i wish I'm with her.

Nakatingin lang sa kanya yung mga kaibigan ko, napapa isip nga ako na baka nagkakagusto sila kay Ami pero hindi naman malayo, pero i know na kapatid ang turing nila kay Ami dahil na rin sabay sabay na silang lumaki.

Pinapanood ko lang sila at hindi ko na namalayan na may nag aabot na sa akin ng maleta ko. Pagbalik ko ng tingin kila Ami papaalis na sila kasama si tita Carmen.

"Bye" i whispered in air while looking at Ami that slowly fading ok my sight right now. Gumawa ko ng paraan para magkita ulit kami pero as long as I'm trying hard mas lalong humihirap na magkita kami.

One time as I'm driving on my way home to eat lunch, may isang resto akong nadaanan na nakapag paalala sa akin kay Blair. The theme was really him, i remembered that he said that he wants to own a resto someday.

I have ni clue kung sino ang may ari ng resto na yon but i decided to enter the resto and buy some food to eat. As I'm in the counter, napalingon ako sa parking lot at nakita ko sila Blair and Blake na masayang nag uusap and nakita ko naman na kumatok sila sa isa pang van kung saan si Rase ang driver.

Pinapanood ko lang sila hanggang sa may inabot si Axe sa loob ng sasakyan pero ang nakapag tataka ay nasa labas na silang lahat so sino yung tao sa loob.

Hindi ko inalis ang tingin ko sa kanila hanggang sa may magbukas ng pinto ng van at iniluwa nito si Ami, she's pale unlike before, i wanna approach her that time pero nakita ko yung tingin sa akin ni Rase, nakita nya ko.

Nagpati una syang pumasok sa resto at nung si Ami na yung papasok ay inakap nya ito para hindi ako makita. No not this time Rase. I act that i left the resto pero ang totoo ay nagpunta lang ako sa kotse ko at kinuha ko yung hoodie ko, hoodie na regalo sa akin ni Ami, i always have this wherever i go.

Nag table ako sa malapit sa kanila para mas lalong malapitan si Ami, nakita ko naman na umalis sila Rase and Axe kaya nagbabalaj ako na lapitan na si Ami but unexpected nag ring ang fire alarm, kaya hindi na ko nag dalawang isip na buhatin si Ami paalis sa resto na yon, all i want that time is to save her.

Inilayo ko sya at nagka usap kami pero ramdam ko yung lamig between us, nadudurog ako sa twing nakikita ko sya na umiiyak lalo na ng dahil sa akin. After that day hindi ko na sya nakita pa ulit, but Destiny is on me. 4 days before Ami's birthday someone called me. Unknown number kaya hindi ko alam kung sino.

My heart is beating fast ng marinig ko na si Neo pala ang tumatawag and she wants me to meet them at her condo, tinatanong ko if bakit pero sabi nya ay importante at tungkol kay Ami kaya I didn't think twice and drive to go to the address she sends me.

Pagkabukas nya ng pinto ay nakita ko silang lahat don, si Ami lang ang wala. They said na i should explain everything to them but i request na huwag muna nilang sabihin kay Ami, "let me be the one who will tell it to her please I'm begging" i said while looking at them that seriously looking at me and nodding.

I tell to them every thing that happened to me and bakit ko iniwan si Ami. They said they wanted to slap me pero naawa din daw sila sa akin at the same time sinusumpa pa, especially yung mga kaibigan ko na kuya ni Ami.

They inviting me to go to them tomorrow, they said that Ami wanted to celebrate her birthday in Neo's and Rase resto house na malapit sa dagat. I agree with them and thank them, no one can explain how I'm feeling right now.

End of flashback

She's just crying as I'm telling to her how i went through. "S-sana sinabi mo man lang sa akin Xen" she said. I can't say anything but hugged her tight and let her feel my loved for her.

"Don't think that i didn't love you anymore hon, my love for you never fade" i said as I'm giving an assurance to her, i won't do it again to her. I'mma kill myself if I see her cry over me again.

"Iniisip ko lang naman na baka pag nalaman mo, iwan mo lahat para sa sakin ayoko, hindi ako papayag na bibitawan mo lahat ng para sa akin lang" i said as I'm looking on her eyes.

"B-but still you should have tell me" she said as she's wiping her own tears, here we go. Nang makita ko na magsasalita pa sya ulit to defend herself, i kiss her lips. I stay on it as i feel na she won't talk anymore.

I saw a shock on her face, i laugh a bit when i saw her reaction. "Y-you why did you do that huh?!" she said but i jokingly leaning to her again pero nilalayo naman nya yung muka nya sa akin.

"Why?" I innocently ask her, but I'm the one who left dumbfounded when she also kiss me, nang maramdam ko lalayo na sya i pulled her closer to me held his chin as a sign na wag syang umalis.

Ako naman na ang naglayo sa labi naming pareho but still I'm pulling her closer to me. Hindi naman sya makatingin sa mata ko. "Gagawa ka ng ganon tas hindi mo naman kayang tagalan" i said to her.

"I thought it would makes as tie pero bigla ka namang gumaganon" she said as she jokingly slap my arm. " Tsaka teka nga bakit mo ko hinalikan e you're not my boyfriend" she said that made me stop from laughing.

Oo nga pala iniwan ko sya. I look at her, " sa ngayon hindi pa pero liligawan ulit kita Ami I'll never do that again to you i promise that hon" i said as i hugged her, she hug me back that makes my heart melt.

" So ibig sabihin ba nyan pumapayag kana na ako na ang magiging nurse mo?" i said as we're still hugging each other, ayoko syang pakawalan. " Pero doctor ka so why don't you just work as a doctor bakit papayag ka na maging nurse ko lang" she said as she's pouting, cutie homie.

"ikaw naman ang rason bakit ako nag doctor Ami, at handa akong magpa alipin para sayo"i said as I'm leaning on her face.

Nagulat naman ako ng biglang bumukas ang pinto ng rooftop at nilabas nito si Yumi na seryosong nakatingin sa akin ngayon.

"Ma" she said na nakakuha ng atensyon ni Ami kaya tumayo ito at lumapit kay Yumi. "Kanina lang patay ka tas ngayon isusuko mo na ata yung bandera ng sang kabaklaan" i heard that she says that to Ami so Ami just widen up her eyes and look at Yumi kaya nag peace lang ito.

Nag aya naman na kong bumababa na kami at ako na ang nag aalaalay kay Ami, i said that i can carry her but doesn't want to.

Axe POV

Aaminin ko, nagulat din ako sa mga sinabi ni Xenon na nag aral sya ng medicine para sa kapatid ko, para lang makapasok sa standard nito. Inaya naman ni Ami si Xenon na mag uusap, hindi na ko umangal at hinayaan na silang mag usap.

"So if ever ba na si Xen ang mag aalaga kay Ami papayag ka ba Axe?" Blair suddenly ask. "It's still on Ami kahit naman umayaw yang si Axe ala syang magagawa kung gugustuhin naman ng kapatid nya" Blake said.

"But still Axe ikaw na ang magiging decision maker sa situation na to, remember ala dito si tita Carmen, at tsaka kahit nandito si tita Carmen sayo pa din nag base nagiging decision nya pagdating kay Ami"Rase said na nagpa isip din sa akin if hahayaan ko ba na si Xen na ang magiging private nurse ng kapatid ko.

" Actually, bilib din talaga ko kay tita Carmen. Isipin nyo, since Ami were 2 years old sya na yung tumayong nanay nyo ni Ami dahil wala na si tita Aldra and then vinavalidate nya pa rin yung decision mo pagdating kay Ami kahit pwede naman syang mag decide para kay Ami" Mikaela said na nagpa sang ayon sa lahat.

"Sinasabi ko din naman yan kay mom na pwede syang nag decide for us pero sabi nya higit sa kanya, ako daw ang may mas alam kay Ami dahil kapatid ko sya kahit sya naman na yung nakamulatan na nag aalaga kay Ami" i said.

My phone suddenly rang and it's mom. "Hey Axe, h-hows Ami? How's my baby?" mom said and it's obvious na natatakot sya. "Hi tita, Ami is now fine sa totoo lang 'ta alam mo ba nakikipag debate na sya kanina sa nurse" Neo said, naka loud speaker kasi yung call dahil alam ko namang may sasabihin din si mom sa kanila.

"W-what debate? Hey where's my baby, I'm gonna talk to her right now, papunta na kong airport right now uuwi ako dyan" mom said at talagang uuwi pa sya, may business trip sila ni dad so she can't go home right now pero iiwan nya si dad for Ami.

"Mom chill, may business trip kayo dyan ni dad remember? Don't leave him" i said. "Well Axe Raxecel Samonte, for your information hindi lang ako ang uuwi pati na rin ang dad mo" mom said at talagang full name ko pa sinabi.

May nag ring naman na phone, it's Rase phone. "Look who's calling" he said while laughing, it's dad. "Mom why's dad calling to Rase e dba magkasama kayo dyan?" I said while I'm signing to Rase to answer the call.

"Yes Tito" i heard Rase said habang yung iba naman tahimik na natatawa. "Hindi pa ata nila alam na masamang d**o anak nila" Blair whispered to me. "Yah Blair Faxcel Gregg" mom said on the other line nakita ko naman na namutla si Blair at kumapit sa braso ng kambal nito.

" Patay ka kay tita Blair" Mikaela said while laughing. " Luh si tito naman bakit ako" naagaw naman ang atensyon namin ng biglang magsalita si Rase habang napapakamot pa sa batok nito.

I already ended mom's call dahil papauwi na daw sya. "Tito naman" Rase said while looking at me and pointing on his phone. "Tito naman oh para namang hindi nag grade 2" Rase said kaya natatawa nalang kami and wondering why.

He ended the call while looking dumbfounded. "What happened?" pigil tawa kong tanong, tinitigan naman nya ko ng malalim at madiin.

"Ang sabi ni tito, hindi ka daw nya matawagan kaya sya sa akin tumatawag at alam mo ba, sabi pa nya na kung gano kadaming saksak ng injection ang makikita nya kay Ami pag uwi, ganon din daw kadaming kiss mark ang gusto nya makita sa isset up nyang blind date sakin" halos maiiyak na sabi nito by that, we burst out to laughter kaya masama nya kaming tiningan.

"There's total of 5 of it Rase pano ka nyan" sabay pa na sabi ng kambal kaya nanlaki naman ang mata ni Rase habang nakatingin sa akin na nanghihingi ng tulong.

"Alam ko na" i said kaya napatingin si Rase sa akin na maaliwalas na ang muka. "Yumi sunduin mo na si Ami and Xenon sa rooftop dahil masyado na silang matagal don" i said. Rase slap my arm kaya natatawa naman silang lahat.

"Akala ko naman may naiisip ka ng idea na magliligtas sakin" Rase said and looking at me intently.

"Just wait" i said kaya bumalik nalang ito sa pag kakaupo nya. Maya maya lang ay nakabalik na si Yumi kasama sila Ami and Xenon.

"How is it?" i asked when i saw Xen with a smile on his face. "Sweet" sabi naman nito habang nakatingin kay Ami at hindi ata inisip ang isasagot sa akin.