The Devil's Guide To Ethics

Under the wings of an angel

I do see that when you're with someone you gain this perspective of expectation. You think more about when you're with someone how they should act or what they should do. Sometimes if you take a step back and give time to let go, you see the person you fell in love with for who they really are. If the relationship is something that works, you'll see who they are and you'll both feel that love regardless of the status of your relationship. I feel like people often let slip on where their love comes from. You stop really enjoying the person's company because you're so stuck in your expectations of what a relationship should be. If a person can just let go even once, they might just see what was really important that whole time. This can translate to friends, family, coworkers, leadership, marriage... it applies to life. If you see someone for who they are, its just more enjoyable and less miserable. If you look at the world through eyes of expectation and what you want... you'll never get it. Because even people psychologically conditioned to chase approval from others will subconsciously sabotage that relationship. They sabotage because they know those expectations set for them are unreasonable and there's no visual for getting that approval that isn't completely detrimental to them. What should be, will be as long as you're true to your heart and what you want. You sit and expect the world to mold and be comfortable to you but that defeats the purpose of life. You're supposed to struggle, you're supposed to grow. No matter how many expectations you set for anyone around you, as long as those are there, you'll never truly appreciate them... you'll never truly give them room to grow in their own way. It's scary because you have to have faith that their new path will have you in it... you have to have faith in your own importance and impact to the ones you love. Because the reality of if you are doing enough or doing right by those around you will come to that judgment day the second you let go. You can hold on and try to keep control or you can let go and start thinking on how you can make a difference to those who love you. If you don't wanna get left behind then stop leaving yourself behind. You wanna be of value, then stop setting expectations of others and start setting them for yourself. You want something in life? Stop thinking about who can bring that to you and start thinking on what kind of person you need to be to attain and maintain it. Think long and hard about the people in your life and whether they really nourish or anchor those ambitions. You'll find exactly what i was talking about when you reflect on this. You'll find that the people who anchor you most are the ones who set those unreasonable expectations. You'll see that they set those expectations cause they lack the will and drive to become who they need to be for themselves. They're more caught up in where they fit in the lives of others than being where they wanna be in life. Most people like this even shove their ambitions down and go unheard... they take on whatever path is laid for them by others and develop this subconscious sense of entitlement to how things should be. Question that this person, and the person deciding who's an anchor and who's a feather, should be asking is: can i achieve what i really want in life with what i have? Then you decide whether to reform your dreams and ambitions to accommodate the importance of what you have... paying the price of an endless existential crisis that may blow up in the end anyways. Or making that change to chase your ambitions. Taking that risk to walk alone if you have to. Maybe even falling on your a*s and feeling worse pain than you ever felt. Because when you chase your dreams you will always wonder if you're enough regardless of how well you're doing. Everyone around you can see this amazing person but you'll never see that deep down. You'll cross that line where you have to face all the lies you told yourself through your life. You will break and you'll break all alone no matter who's there. But it's important when that time comes that you don't run from it. If you run from it, you'll find yourself doing anything to make the pain go away. If you sit in it and face it... it will be hell and you will break but you will come out with an understanding of yourself and the world around you that this whole world seems to lack. That understanding is something that nobody can give you. That understanding is something people only think they have. I cant personally put words to it but you see this change in yourself where you can connect to literally anyone no matter what they believe or who they are. You notice things in yourself and you see things in others that they're completely blind to but you also recognize the process they need to find for their own growth. You don't need to control it... you have the power to and it will tempt you a lot to just give a little nudge that nobody notices to create a ripple effect in a person's whole life. I found that I've never needed to do that because they always find their own way. Kind of beautiful in a sense that watching people and their minds at work to me is a beauty equivalent to a full days hike on a nice day. It's tiring but i see beauty and i see perspectives that constantly teaches me new things. Beauty in these realizations is that, in this perspective too im also letting go. I'm letting go of not only my expectations of the people around me but I'm letting go of my expectations of the world around me. Letting go of what i think i know. The greatest times of ignorance for me have been when i acted like i knew something. Guitar for example... i used to think i was hot s**t. I was good and i could play a lot faster and cleaner than i do now but... everytime someone came around me and did something i couldn't... it destroyed me and i was angry. Rather than talking to that person and opening myself to the knowledge i walked away angry and tried to do it myself... sometimes i succeeded. I literally learned how to sweep pick as a middle finger to a band that rejected me. In hindsight, i take something differently from that story. I see how those emotions channeled me to be better and that's a recognition in myself that i use regularly. But i also reform that motivation to be healthier each time. Rather than it being a middle finger to those who reject me, it becomes a process i undergo to where i see in myself that I'm angry about something that's happened. I don't hide from the anger or bottle it up. I let it go through it's process within myself and i learn from each instance without even needing to let it out unless i need to calmly approach and set a boundary. Even then, i recognize who will and won't waste my time in such an endeavor. You can't set boundaries with a brick wall but you can set boundaries for yourself when it comes to those people. And seeing such things isn't me acting like i know what's underneath because their body language, tone of voice, and the things they say will present whether it's a good time to do anything. Yes... i know within myself that i have the power to turn it around... sometimes its best not to. I see where people are at with how they act. Half of them are blind to the most essential things in their life that they really need. You can't really tell a person what they really need because there's a demon right there on that very thing. I'll never ask a person to face a demon. If they wanna stay in the comfort of their own neglect and misery, that's their choice. Either way, demons will knock one way or another. (Note: yes i use terms relative to Christianity. I just feel this rhetoric resonates well to paint a picture of the dichotomies within everyone's humanity). Yeah ill be supportive... but the support i give is an act of kindness. No price beyond me being able to watch as you unveil your own life. I can't tell them either... sadly. I can't just hand out growth and to tell them would also be me getting too involved or taking control of their process. Some people take things in a rebellious way and wind up running from their own process when someone tells them. Some create expectations that the process will lead them to something when it's completely unpredictable. You can't expect anything of nature and you can't expect anything of that which is a part of it. All you can do is be a conduit of natural consequence. As for me? I follow my heart. If i feel passion or excitement I'll explore it. If its consistent, i seek to create longevity and symbiosis. It's what everyone does. Some people find it in one thing and are happy doing it for their whole lives. Some just have nomadic hearts that are trying to explore. They find struggle because in lacking commitment to a path, you lack stability and security but at the same time you're free to be everything and live up to the potential you have to be everything. Why do you think nomads want to wander or live off grid? Because you're free to learn and grow. You're free of being weighed down by the idea of change. You're free of expectation and any nourishing commitments you make will be that of like minded mentality.