Where Your Secrets Hide

SECRET 23

Dedicated, dedicated is the right word to describe my self right now. I am dedicated to prove that C is no other than Austin. He knows that I am the one who killed Chase, so he is trying to mess up with me. But it won't work. I mean, I nearly accidentally killed Chase, is the right choice of words.

I didn't murdered him, but, I don't want to say it but, he died because of me.

"Jackson." I went back to my self when Henry called me. I look to him with my confuse face. "We're here." He said. I gulp and took a deep breath before I went out of Henry's car.

"Can you imagine Austin as our killer?" I ask him when I got out of his car. "What do you mean?" He asks me back. "Never mind... See you tomorrow at Chase funeral." I said before closing the door of his car.

I wanted to believe that Austin is C, but something is telling me that he is not. I wanted to believe my beliefs, not my brain trying to confuse me. This feeling that I am feeling every time I am thinking who is C is getting worst.

I am afraid that all of my plan will be blown out just because of that C, so I better find C before everything turns upside down, before I went to jail, for killing him.

Ugh!

Why am I thinking that I am the reason of Chase death when thee autopsy of him says that he died not from head trauma but from the stabbed he get? I did not stabbed him, someone obviously did, and that someone is C, I know it was C, I mean, why is he messing up with me if C is not guilty?

I unlock the front door of my house when an envelope gets on my way. I bent down to get envelope and inside the envelope is a tape.

Who uses tape at this era?

Too bad I don't have a player for this kind of tape.

Behind the tape, a letter was written.

'Evidence to a lot of stories.'

After reading those lines, I felt like I am choking on my own air...

This is what I hate, and I know that this is my weakness when it comes on getting out clean...

Evidence.

Don't think it was evidence of you killing Chase...

No matter how hard I try not to think that I did not kill Chase, it is still haunting me, the guilt is haunting me. I cannot live this life of freedom if no one is in behind of those jail bars for my sins. I don't want to go to the jail, I don't deserve spending any seconds inside there, and in fact, I did not kill Chase...

But what am I afraid of?

I don't know Jackson!

You know what? The only thing for this nightmare to end, is to find the responsible one. And I am confident that the person who is responsible for Chase death is C, so I have to find the person behind the letter C and make him or her confess so I will be a free man like a bird in the sky.

I don't want to waste another time and another day, I don't want for everyone to end up like my cousin and Chase.

Next day, I prepared some breakfast for me and Henry before going to Chase funeral. Henry is coming over since we're both going to Chase funeral.

I heard a doorbell ringing inside my house so I assumed it was Henry outside my house, but when I open the door, it wasn't Henry, it was Detective Portman. I was shocked and didn't move because my mind couldn't process why Detective Portman is here.

"Mr. Portman." I said his name with nervousness in my tone. "I smell some delicious food inside, may I come in?" He said. "What are you doing here?" I ask instead of letting him inside my house. "I wanted to talk to you about something." He answered. He looks behind me so I look behind my back to see what his look at, but there was no one inside. "See? That's the look of someone who's hiding something." Me. Portman said.

I don't know what this man's business with me, but I know and I am sure that I don't like it.

"Maybe that is just the look of curiosity." I answered.

He chuckled and but his lips.

"I am kidding, I am here to check on you."

I look surprise on what he just said. Check on me? Do I look like I'm in danger or something? Why does he need to check on me?

"You don't have to, I am fine, and living my life as a roller coaster ride, in short, I am having fun. Thanks for the check, but really, you don't need to." I sarcastically answered. "I promise you uncle that I will protect you since every bad things that is happening in our town, is surrounding you." He took a one step forward towards me. "In short, where ever you goes, bad things follows you."

Maybe it wasn't my fault at all. At least those bad things didn't affect me, those bad things did not attack me.

It's better to be lucky with those bad things rather than being unlucky with those good things.

"Jackson." I heard Henry calling my name so I look behind Detective Portman and he was there walking towards me. Henry look to Detective Portman with a clueless face. "Sees like you have a company." Detective Portman said while looking to Henry from downs to ups.

"Hmm. He is my company, not you Detective, so if you'll excuse us, we don't want to be late to Chase funeral." I grab Henry's wrist and pull him inside my house and close the door.

"Who is he?" Henry asks. "Detective Portman. He is the one who's working to Chase and my cousin's case." I answered him while walking towards the kitchen to prepare some dishes for our breakfast. "Your cousin's case?" He ask me with a confusion on his tone. "They believed that the one who killed Reynaldo is the same person who killed Chase." I answered. "But you are at the hospital when your cousin was murdered, so how could yo—" Henry did not finish his sentence when I face him and grab his shirt to me. "I did not f*****g kill Chase. We both know that. The autopsy speaks for itself, he died not because of the head trauma nor neck crack, but died because of the 22 stabs he had." I said.

Henry's face shows that he is scared to me and that he is freaking out, so I put him down and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, I did not mean to do that." I said and continue to prepare our dishes. "That's why you ask if Austin is our killer?" He asks. I look back to look at his eyes for him to know that I am serious, that I am very serious about the words that will come out to my mouth any seconds now. "Austin is our killer, not If." I said. "How would you know that?" HE asks me for he last time. "Because I do."

I choose not to tell to Henry about C, I don't know how will he react. This is my mess, I just ask for his help, so he is out of my mess. C is my mess, Henry's only mess is the drugs dealer who he's dealing with since before we become seniors.

I know he'd stop, but I don't know what happened.

If it isn't because of his gun, maybe, Chase and I have another ending...

But, why would I blame him?

Why Not?

You know what? I should stop blaming others for my sins, we both are the reasons why Chase ended up dying, ended up dead, but neither of us killed him, because it was C.

That motherfucker C.

We ate our breakfast without talking to each other, but we managed to do that, since no one wants to say something.

I don't know how long I am gonna be quiet, how long I will keep this secret of mine, but I know that, I wont stop hiding until someone is in jail, not because of my sins, but because of them.

The only sins and crimes that I had, is keeping it as a secret.

"We should probably go now." Henry said and he ready his car.

Henry drove while I am just listening to the music with my Airpods plug in to my ear. I am not mad to Henry, but I am guilty for this. I don't want to see my best friend suffering because of me.

After a long drive, we finally reach our destination.

Chase funeral will be happening in the Carter's house.

After I got out of Henry's car, I look to the house in front of me, I remember the last time I went here is a full disaster.

"Why are you so obsess with my friends?" Chase shouted at my face. "I am not obsess with your friends! I just want them to know that I am your friend!" I shouted back.

We keep fighting while I am packing my things to go home.

"They don't have to know! And what if I don't want them to know?" He asks me in his highest tone of his voice. I stop packing my bag and look to his face. "Then let's break up." I said and continued packing. "Is this really important? Did you kiss me just for me to introduce you as my friend?" He asks me. "I did not kiss you! You f*****g kiss me! So it is not my fault why we are stuck in this between situation!" I said and after packing my bag I open his door room and left. "I don't want to introduce you as a friend!" Chase said. I aggressively look to him and face him. "Why? You want to introduce me as your tutor with benefits?" I said and chuckles. "Then f**k that!" I said and walk down the stairs.

I just want to be known. I did not develop this feelings for him just to get introduce as his friends, but I let my feelings develop because I love him, because I like him, not because I want to use him.

I want it to happen because I know that if his football friends knew that we are friends, they would stop bullying me. Maybe they would stop teasing me and stop saying those slut words to my mother. I don't want them to call me as a killer because my mom suicide. They keep saying that my mom took her life because I am boring and she doesn't want to live with me.

Those f*****g football players who's making my life miserable!

I don't want them to bully me, I want them to stop, and maybe if they knew that Chase is my friend then maybe they will stop, maybe...

I stop walking when Chase hug me from my back.

"I don't want you to introduce as my friends, because I want you to introduce as my boyfriend." He said.

After he said those words to me, I felt like I am dying. I couldn't breath and felt a tickles inside me. My hair stood up...

This is the cringiest words I heard from Chase, cringiest but lovely.

He makes me face him and he smiled.

"That's the reason why. But, you wouldn't listen..." He said. "Chase..." I said his name and he wipe the tears from my cheeks. "I promise, I will introduce you as my friend first after the game night and introduce you as my boyfriend after breaking up with Sarah..." He promise...

He promised...

He pat my head and mess my hair.

"I love you." He said and I was shock when he kiss me.

And those kiss are just.. Special...

We kiss a lot of times, but, this one is something, deeper, sweeter, lovely. I couldn't breath again...

"Chase?" We stop kissing when we heard his mom called his name.

And from that day, his mother fired me as his tutor, two days before the game night, before the party.

His mother is so mad that she shouted to me and to Chase, so mad that she threw my salary to my face, so mad that she forces me to get out of their house and called me gay, so mad that she said she doesn't want to see me again, so mad that she want me and Chase to stop seeing each other...

And maybe so mad that she can be C.

But, her mother will never do that. I know how her mother will react everytime she is angry. She can be ballistic and scary and crazy at the same time, but she wont kill Chase, she did not even know where my house is...

But it's not possible, maybe she saw me bringing Chase inside his car and she went ballistic that she followed us and saw me killing her son...

No. What a crazy mother she is if that happened.

She's a mother, not a crazy ex girlfriend.

Wait what?

Crazy ex-girlfriend?

What if Sarah is C?

I don't know, but what if everyone is C?

"Jackson." I went back to reality after Henry called my name. "Come on." He said and we walk together inside their house and showed our invitations.

We look so surprise to see a coffin inside. I did not know that his body is ready to be buried, even though his body showed up only the other night.

I saw all of my classmates looks to me, even Sarah and Austin. They are looking at me like I did something wrong.

"How dare you to show up to my son's funeral?" I look to my left and saw Mrs. Carter. "Mrs. Carter I did not kill your son." I said, "I am not talking about killing my son, I am talking about what I witnessed last time you are here. Do I have to repeat myself that you are not allowed to be in our house?" She said it so loud that the people look at us. "Czarina. Calm down. This is our son's funeral, let him in." Mr. Carter said. "Denisse!"

"Let him in." Mr. Carter said. "Fine, but this is the last time you'll ever set your foot here in my house." She said and she walks out.

And now, people can't stop staring at me, I am embarrassed, I didn't even know why people look at me when I went inside, and now they are staring because of what Chase mother said to me, I am sure a lot of them will be curious, specially Austin.