I don't know who you are.

A sound. A pitch and steady sound. A funny smell and a lot of pressure around my head. What is that smell? I thought. It is not a bad smell but … uh… a characteristic smell. I recognise that smell, it is very familiar. I can’t recall what it is. A hospital, perhaps? Wait… That’s it! It is that peculiar smell that hospitals have as soon as you walk in. But why I am smelling that? Oh, this headache is killing me. It hurts when I think. I doze off. The sound is back. “Beep, beep, beep”. Even that sound makes my head hurts. I frown my eyebrows and I try to open my eyes. I open my eyes and I close them again. Why is that light so bright? It does not help my headache. I open my eyes again but very slowly. I move my left hand to cover my eyes as the light is so dam bright. I hear a voice shouting to a doctor. To a doctor? Why? Is it me? Do they need me to do a consult? I hear footsteps approaching. “Dr. Wilson? Dr. Wilson can you hear me?” Dr. Wilson? That is me. Why do you think I can’t hear you? “Dr. Wilson can you hear me?” – I heard again. “Yes” – I replied with a very dry mouth. “Dr. Wilson you are in a hospital. You were in an accident” In an accident? Wait, what? I move my left hand from my eyes to see who is talking to me, only to find myself surrounded by two doctors and two nurses. “Dr. Wilson is okay, you are okay” – Says the doctor on my left. I look around the room. The doctor on my left has a chart on his hands. One of the nurses steps out of the room to take the car crash out. I look down and I find myself to be wearing a hospital gown, my right hand has a cast on as I touch my head, I realize I have a bandage on it. “What?” – I asked so confused. “Dr. Wilson, I am Dr. Zimmerman. I am afraid you were in a car accident and you were rushed to this hospital” – The doctor on the left answers. “What do you mean in a car accident? I don’t drive. I never sat my test” – I replied. The two doctors look at each other. The doctor on the right, that had been fairly quiet during this time, takes her hands out of her pocket. “Dr. Wilson, my name is Dr. Henderson and I am the head of the neurology department. I am going to examine you very quickly, okay? If you feel uncomfortable at any given moment, please let me know.” I follow the light. I squeeze my left hand and I do everything she tells me to. “Dr. Wilson, can you tell me what you remember the last?”- Dr. Henderson asks. “I… I don’t know. But I… I don’t remember being in a car accident” -I said stuttering. “Okay, so what is your last memory then?” “Well…I remember an interview, I think?”- I am thinking about that interview. It was in St Thomas Hospital. - “I was in an interview for a neuropsychologist position” -I answered. “Eliza? The interview?”- I hear. Where is that voice coming from? The nurses are gone and there are only two doctors standing beside me. My eyes catch a figure on the corner of the room and I see a man standing there very worried, almost crying, pale and he seems scared. “Eliza, the interview was 2 years ago” -he proceeds. He approaches me and holds my left hand. I look at him and I am wondering why he is holding my hand, but I don’t say anything. “Mr. Adamson, I think it is better to give her some time. She has just woken up from brain surgery” -Dr. Zimmerman says. “No!” – the man standing next to me shouts while lets my hand go- “That interview was 2 years ago! 2 bloody years ago!”- He says very angrily. Wait, what? 2 years ago? That interview was two days ago, and I got the job! Brain surgery? What are these people talking about? “Brain surgery?”- I ask. “Dr. Wilson, you were in a car accident and you had an intracranial bleeding. I assume you know what I am talking about? -Dr. Henderson says. “Eliza, do you know who I am? – The man comes back to my side and asks me. I look at his face, I look at his hands, his body. Everything but I don’t know who he is. “I guess you are Mr. Adamson? I recall the Dr. Zimmerman calling you that”- I answered. He storms out of the room while punching the door. “What the hell is happening here??!!” – I asked very frustrated. “Dr. Wilson, relax. You were in a car accid…” “No! – I shout- I was not in a car accident because I don’t remember anything, I don’t even drive! I did not sit my test yet!” “Dr. Wilson, we need you to cooperate with us okay?” -Says Dr. Henderson. “You want me to cooperate? You want my help? You…are telling me that I was in a car accident, when I don’t even drive. A man just stormed out of my… supposedly hospital room, a man that I do not recognise but he seems to know who I am. You are telling me, while I have a cast on my right hand and a bandage around my head that I have just woken up from … from brain surgery? You are telling me all that and you want my help?” – I shouted angrily and loosing my nerves.  This is way too much for me. Brain surgery? A car? Who the hell is that man? Am I going to lose my new job because I am on stuck on this bed? “Right, okay Dr. Wilson, you have to listen to us. You were in a car accident. You were driving your red car to pick up your fiancé to go to work and as you pulled over, a drunk driver hit you on the side, causing you to bang your head against the window while breaking it” – Dr. Zimmerman said. I cry. Why do I not remember any of this? Since when do I drive? Why did I have to have brain surgery? Oh lord I think I am going to faint. I can’t think anymore, I can’t hear anymore, I won’t hear any of this. My head hurts, why does it hurt so badly? Why am I feeling like my brain is on bloody fire? Fiance? "Dr. Wilson, I am afraid to tell you that you are showing symptoms of amnesia and we will like to do some more tests" -Says Dr. Henderson. "Amnesia? From... from the car accident?" - I ask. "I would say so" - says Dr. Henderson. "So my interview did not happen two days ago then?"- I ask. Dr. Zimmermman and Dr. Henderson look at each other. "No Dr. Wilson. Your interview did not happen two days ago"- Says Dr. Zimmerman. "When did it happen?- I ask. "About two years ago"- replies Dr. Zimmermman. I keep crying. Two years ago? I am missing two years of my life? Only because a stupid drunk driver hit me? "We are so sorry Dr. Wilson"- says Dr. Henderson. "Save it. I know you are very sorry, but so am I and I don't need your compassion at the moment"- I say. "We want to run some more tests to be a 100% sure Dr. Wilson" - Dr. Zimmermman says. "Amnesia. Can I see my chart please? - I ask. "Dr. Wilson, you are a patient here, not a doctor and we will very much like to keep it that way"- says Dr. Henderson. "I am a doctor, whether you like it or not. I am missing two years of my life, I am, apparently, engaged to someone I don't even know. I had an intracranial bleeding and you had to cut through my skull. I think I deserve to have a look at that chart"- I answer. My cry has now turned into anger. I am upset, I am fuming. This is happening. I had a life and I don't remember anything for the past two years. I was good. I was the best in my class, and it was not easy to get to where I was. I deserve to know everything. Dr. Zimmermman hands me the chart and I have a good look at it. "Run all the tests you need, but I am telling you, this is amnesia"- I said. "We will have someone taking you for a head CT with contrast and a fMRI shortly"- Says Dr. Henderson. I nodd and they leave. Okay Eliza, just breath. In ... out ... in ... out. It is okay. Amnesia? but it coud be temporary, it could be due to the head injury. Everything is going to be okay and you will be back on your feet sooner than you think. You got this like you got everything else. "Eliza? Can we talk?"- Asks a man at my door. "Sorry, who are you?" - I ask confuse. The man touches his hair while sighing and enters into my room. "I am Benjamin" - He replies. "You are Mr. Adamson, right?" - I asked. I remember he stormed out of my room when I said I did not recognise him. "I would rather be called Benjamin" - He smiles. "Yes and I would rather not be in this bed"- I snapped. "How are you feeling?- He asks. "Amazing! Don't you see Benjamin? - I say. He sighs again. Maybe I should not be so hard on him but guess what? I have bloody amnesia so suck it up. "I am so sorry I could not do anything else than... phone for help..." -He says while trying not to cry. "Why you?"- I ask. He looks into my eyes and says -" You were picking me up to go to work Eliza. I am your fiancé". "Right, so we are engaged?"- I ask. He nodds. "Eliza we met at work..." "Mr. Adamson or Benjamin, or whatever you want to be called, I think I have had enough for today. I am afraid I don't know who you are... I don't even know who I am so please, I just want to rest" - I say while my voice breaks appart. This really hurts. I have witnnessed this so many times. I have told family members of my patient that thay had amnesia, I pretty much do that on a daily basis. But I am not okay with this happening to me. It is not supposed to be me. "Of couse. I will come by tomorrow morning. Is there ... Is there anything you want from home?" - He asks. "No, thanks" - I say. And he leaves the room just as the nurses come in to take me to CT.