Slave For Lust

IV - He Is Childish!

Saharra'S POV

IN THE LAST few weeks, nothing has changed for me. I am still the same Saharra who did nothing but obey everything Clark wanted. There are times that I get tired, that I want to leave him again. But often, not giving up is still ahead of me. I can't lose him for the second time around. I can't lose the chance he gave me.

Besides, why should I give up on Clark? He didn't give up on me easily when I was pushing him away from me before. I had the hardest heart. I was the meanest. He did everything to win me back. But I was the hesitant one.

Of the two of us, I was the worse one. When he begged me to come back to him, I didn't feel sorry for him. Instead of hugging him, I pushed him away. Those times that even it hurt me, I didn't show it to him. And why would I do that if I want him to stay away from me? I said a lot of hurtful words toward him just to make him stay away, to make him leave me and to accept that we are no longer together.

But he is consistent in showing that he does not give up. So why would I give up on him now if I did more to him then compared to what he is doing to me now?

I just need to relax my mind and get used to the new Clark. He wasn't the man I love before but I will love him until the end and that's for sure.

I went inside his penthouse from outside. It is almost seven in the evening and I wasn't expecting him in front of me so I'm a bit shocked. I thought he was still in his office. Usually, he went home late. Especially when I am with him.

"Where did you go?" Clark asked me when I got to his penthouse. He seems like a strict interviewer. He seems like he is investigating me. By his looks? I am no longer shocked when he is mad again.

He met me with a sharp look as his jaws clenched in anger. What did I do to him? As far as I remember, I didn't do anything bad to him. What does he need?

Wait…

Didn't he know that I left?

He wasn't here at the penthouse earlier and didn't let me accompany him because he had to go somewhere and I wasn't allowed there. I don't know what it was but I decided not to go. So that at least once I can be free from his violent world. I can take a break from him being mean.

"I texted you. I was with Emerald. You know her, right?" I asked him

Emerald is my best friend. She was Clark's friend too. They became friends because of me. All my friends are his friends. And all his friends are my friends too.

But instead of his face being relieved, his eyebrows rose.

"Didn't I tell you that I don't want you to meet other people?" I frowned at his question.

That was harsh. But he really said before hat I'm not allowed to meet other people. That I should stay in his penthouse all the time.

And Emerald is not a different person.

My eyes widened as I looked at him. "Even with Emerald?"

"Do I need to repeat myself?"

I immediately appealed. "But that was Emerald. She is our friend—" He didn't let me finish speaking.

"Your friend. I don't remember if she was one of my friends."

My eyes got bigger. He was Emerald's friend. Emerald is the one he talks to when he wants to see me. He always sends regards to Emerald. Emerald is the one he includes in the plan every time he surprises me. Emerald seems to have become his sister because the two of them are close.

How could he not be friends with Emerald?

When we fight, Emerald takes his side. Even when we broke up, my best friend was the one who begged me to get him back. It even led to the point where Emerald almost didn't want to talk to me because of what I did to Clark.

Emerald was on his side.

"Clark…"

I'm hurting for my best friend. She doesn't deserve those words. She considers Clark as her family. Because of Clark, she had an older brother. If she hears what the man in front of me said, I'm sure she'll be hurt.

Why did Clark suddenly treat her like this? Did she do something bad at him?

Emerald never told me that she and Clark had a bad conversation. They just lost communication because Clark himself avoided her since we broke up. We thought it was because he is moving forward. But every time Emerald greets him, he replies to the messages.

I don't know if they had an argument. Because I don't remember anything.

And I'm sure if Emerald finds out, she'll be surprised too.

She thought they were okay.

"Obey me or leave me alone?" My thoughts were interrupted when I heard Clark's voice so my attention returned to him.

I breathed deeply. I don't want to do this because Emerald is part of my life. But I have no choice. I don't want to go back to our conversation with Clark. I will do everything for him to come back to me.

"I w-will just obey you..." I answered even though it was against my heart.

I'm so sorry, Emerald...

She was my best friend for 17 years. We have been best friends since grade school. She'll be hurt if she finds out and I'm afraid I'll hurt Emerald.

She is an understanding person but I don't think she will understand my decision. I don't want her to feel that I chose Clark over her. I don't want her to feel that I threw all our memories away.

Because I will never do that.

I wanted to cry where I was standing but I managed to hold my tears. I don't want Clark to see that.

"Hand me your phone." I was surprised when Clark suddenly extended his hand in front of me after he said that so I was surprised.

But still, to gain his trust I grabbed my phone from my sling bag pocket and gave it to him.

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

But instead of answering me, he turned his back on me. I couldn't do anything but follow him with my gaze until he reached the big veranda. His hand holding my phone suddenly opened in the air causing him to let go of my phone.

My eyes widened as I watched how everyone did slow motion to me. From the time he opened his hands, until my phone gradually fell from the air. I quickly ran towards the veranda. I was hoping to catch my phone and catch it but it was too late when I stepped. I was only able to take one step but my phone immediately disappeared from my sight.

And when I got to the veranda I immediately looked down. At the height of this floor, I can't see it below, especially since it's already dark around.

I was looking at the lower veranda for a few minutes because it hadn't sunk in me yet. But when I realized what Clark had done, a strange anger came to me.

I quickly turned my attention to him and glared at him.

"That's too much, Clark! That was my personal thing! You shouldn't do that!" I shouted at him.

But he just grinned at me, like he was teasing me. "Why?"

I couldn't stop my tears. It automatically came out of my eyes even though I didn't feel like I was crying. I was in tears because I felt so annoyed.

"I'm using that to contact my friends and my staff. They need to run my business even without my presence!" I answered him.

I need that phone of mine. That's important to me. It was the first phone I bought without feeling guilty if I had something to eat the next day because that phone proved that I was moving forward in life without help from others.

That phone of mine is very important to me. All my memories and files are there. All my happy and sad days are saved there. All my open letters to Clark are in my notes on that phone.

That meant so much to me that I couldn't help but be angry with Clark. He can speak harshly to me. He can punish me for meeting Emerald. He can do whatever he wants. But don't let it be my personal thing. What I went through was no joke, just to get my dream phone. Saving important files there is no joke either.

And all that was lost because of Clark's childishness.

"I'm going down there!" I said to Clark but he stopped me before I even took a single step.

I gave him a bad look.

"Use this instead." Then he handed me a phone box.

I glanced at that box. More expensive than the phone he threw away. One of the best brands and the better one.

But that's not what I want.

I laughed because of Clark's childishness.

Fuck. I don't get him!

"I can't understand you, Clark! I don't get you. You wasted my phone and gave me another one? For what?" I laughed sarcastically.

I'm sick of laughing because of him

"To check you," he answered without emotion.

Check me out? What for? Do I look like a child who might get lost when going out alone? As if he is concerned?

"You don't have to! I am always with you. What's with your mind now?" I asked him angrily.

"Are you complaining?" I can feel the annoyance in the tone of his speech.

And now, he's still angry?

Who lost their phone? Who lost something important? Is it him?

"Because you are too much!" I shouted.

"Then leave me alone, Saharra! If you can't handle me anymore, just pack your things and leave!" he shouted back.

I shed tears of anger. Yes, I feel really mad. I didn't know that he was childish and that he would get angry at simple things.

After what I did? After what I have done for him? He's going to tell me now to leave him just because I got mad because he threw away my phone?

Is he invalidating my feelings? Shouldn't I be angry? Should I not have yelled at him? Should I just laugh while one of the most important things to me, is at the bottom of this building and is completely destroyed?

I laughed sarcastically. "Is that really easy for you?" I asked him.

"Why? You left me easily before, right? Why are you having a hard time now?"

Fuck. I am tired of his bullshit!

"So this is all about the past again? What connection did what happened before when you threw my phone away? Did I cheat on you? Did I lie to you? Did I break your trust?"

"You didn't cheat me but you broke my trust, Saharra. And if you think this is hard for you, may I just remind you that I didn't ask you to do it for me. You begged!"

And after that, he left in front of me.