Slave For Lust

V - He Cares

SAHARRA'S POV

AFTER Clark left me, I decided to go down to this building. I only had the flashlight I borrowed from the security guard with me when I headed to the estimated area where my phone fell. The guards even wanted to accompany me because they knew I lived in the penthouse of the owner of this building, but I declined the offer.

I also don't want to ask the guard for help because it might not be good again with Clark. I don't want to do things that will make him angry.

I still can't accept what he did to my phone. I don't even know how to talk to him again because I am really mad at him now. I don't know when my madness will go away and if it will go away.

I really want to leave. I want to lose interest in him. I want to lose my love for him. I don't want to go back to him anymore.

But I don't want to turn away from what we talked about, because he was right. He didn't force me to come back. I begged for the chance he would give. I don't know if I just made a wrong decision. I don't even know if I was rash in my decision to beg him and ask for his love again.

I don't know how I feel now. I can't name it. All I feel is hatred. I hate Clark for what he did.

"Ma'am, I will help you," the guard said to me when he saw me bending down and looking for my phone in the middle of the dark surroundings.

My eyes were busy searching so I didn't even look at him. "No, sir. I can handle this.”

"Are you sure, ma'am?"

I nodded. Still not looking at him. "Yes. Thank you.”

After that he told me that he was going back to his area for his duty so I nodded. The guard made sure that I would be fine by asking me several times so I said yes.

I am just having a hard time because I don't know where my phone landed. When I looked at Clark's veranda area, I could hardly see it because the penthouse was too high from where I was standing. I can't see if the veranda is really the opposite area where I am looking now.

Annoyance revived in my heart. Clark knows exactly how to annoy me. Is this his way to make me stop loving and pursuing him? Does he really need to come to this point? Does he really have to destroy my phone to destroy me forever?

Where the hell did he throw it?

I don't want to see it still whole and unbroken. For sure, at the height of its fall, it will be crushed, its parts will fall apart. I just need to get the things stuck in my phone case, my keychain, my SD Card and even my SIM Card. So that when I have a new phone, I can transfer it from there. That's the only thing I am after because I don't expect to be able to fix my phone anymore.

Many pass around because this road leads to the basement of the building. Every passing person I see the wonder and curiosity on their faces.

"What are you searching for, Miss?" A man asked me, he was with three other men so I distanced myself. This is Clark's property. I don't want a man's own inquiry to cause misunderstanding.

So that I don't look rude and the conversation doesn't go on, I decided to lie.

"I just lost my earrings," I answered after I looked away and continued walking.

"Just buy another one," he said.

I didn't look back at him but I answered him again. “That's my mother's gift. Thank you.”

There is nothing wrong with his question and conversation, but I feel that there is always malice. This is not me. I am the kind of friend that can be a friend to everyone. But I am distancing myself from everyone just so Clark doesn't get mad. He doesn't want me to meet nor talk to other people. And I better obey, if not, I don't know what will happen.

The guy seemed disappointed by hearing him sigh. He seems to want to be my friend but I am avoiding any contact. Moreover, he and his friends are strangers.

"Good luck, then."

"Thank you."

And after that, he and his companions also left. I didn't even say goodbye to them because we are not close. I just appreciate his concern about what I am looking for.

I've been looking for a few minutes but I can't find anything. I even searched in the trash, in the garden, in the plants, even in the drainages. But still, I got nothing.

I am losing hope as it took me almost an hour to search. I am tired and my back hurts from bending over. I just want to rest and sleep since I feel drained by what happened.

I sat down in the gutter with the flashlight still on and my eyes were still looking around from time to time. And when I was tired, I bent down on my two knees that were touching. I buried my face there. I am hopeless. I don't know where to find my phone.

I wanted to cry but I didn't want to look miserable so I decided to look up. But when I looked up, instead of the sky opening up to me, someone else greeted me.

A man who is tall, handsome but has no emotion on his face.

What is he doing here? Did he follow me?

"Get up," he commanded, so I sighed and decided to stand up. He even offered his hand to help me stand but I wholeheartedly declined that.

He is the reason why I am having trouble finding it now.

Yes, my one and only ex-boyfriend Clark, who wants nothing more than to make my life difficult.

If he thought he could subdue me like that, he was wrong.

"Let's go," he said again so I glared at him.

"Where will we go?" I asked him in surprise.

I wanted to sulk but I couldn't for long. I even tell myself that I don't know when my anger will disappear. I just rested a little, and my heart is soft for Clark again.

I feel like I love him more now than before. Because I couldn't bear him like this before. After all, he didn't hurt me before either.

I was suddenly saddened by that memory. When will we go back to before? When can I feel his love again that I am not chasing? When will he be able to love me again like the love I used to have?

I miss those times. Indeed, repentance always comes last. I wish I hadn't left him then. I hope I didn't just waste the love he was giving before.

I miss those 'before'.

"You are spacing out," Clark got my attention. I didn't realize that my mind was wandering.

What are we talking about again?

Ah, right. He says I will accompany him wherever he goes.

"Where are we going?"

He had a bag in both pockets of his shorts. A simple outfit for a boyfriend material like him.

“Dinner. I didn't eat lunch earlier. I was busy," he explained so I frowned. It was not his usual answer. He often does not answer my questions. Often when he wants to answer me, he even asks why I am asking as if he is saying that I have no right to ask.

I smirked in secret. “You don’t need to explain, just ask me for dinner.”

He gasped violently as if to stop himself from getting annoyed. "I am not asking you. This is your responsibility. And as a woman who wants me back. You need to tail me.”

I couldn't stop laughing because of the length of what he said. What's with him right now? "I said you don't need to explain,"

"I am not explaining." he quickly said.

“Okay.”

"You are not convinced. Why would I explain it to you? I was just—"

I didn't let him finish speaking because for sure, he would argue with me again that I misunderstood. His ego and pride, rising again.

"Let's go." I said.

I waited for him to walk first because I didn't know where we were going. Also, I don't want him to think that I am going to lead him. But a minute has passed and he still hasn't left where he's standing.

When he noticed the surprise on my face, he immediately spoke.

"A-Are you done searching for your phone?" I am not sure if I heard the stutter in his voice or if it was just my imagination but I could feel that he was being counted.

Why? Is he guilty of what he did because of his childishness?

Suddenly, I was hurt again because of what he did. That's why I just gave a short answer. "Yeah."

"Did you find it?" he is still curious.

"Nah."

"Why haven't you looked for it yet?"

I was surprised by his question. Why is he curious about my search? And why is he still concerned about that? Didn't he throw it away? Why is he asking me to look for it?

"Did you just throw it to make it difficult for me to find?"

He quickly shook his head, the rejection in his mind. "No. Why would I do that?”

"Tsk."

"Are you mad?" he asked suddenly.

I was surprised by his question. "Who wouldn't?"

Who wouldn't be angry at what he did? He shouldn't have asked that. Let him present to me who still feasted after he did such a thing, especially the important thing he threw away.

“Tsk. I'll eat by myself. You can search it all day. I don't care.”

After he said that, he rudely left in front of me and didn't even wait for me to react. He left me dumbfounded and I can't help myself to wonder because of what he did. He came here while I was devastated because of what he did to invite me and ask me if I found what I was looking for. And then he will leave me? I can't believe the behavior Clark showed me today. He was not the Clark I had known and loved before. But I must admit that I love him more now.

However, I walked in the direction of Clark and followed him. I didn't even reach him because he was walking fast. When I got to the entrance of the building, I couldn't find Clark.

I sighed but understood him. That's really his attitude now. I just hope he can eat well since he hasn't eaten since lunch. And yes, I am worried.

I love him and that's my reason.

Since Clark left me completely, I decided to go back to the penthouse. I didn't feel hungry anymore because I was really tired from what happened. I am also tired of searching my phone. I thought that since there were many people in that area, it was possible that they had already gotten it.

But who would be interested in a broken phone?

I just held my breath and pressed the elevator button. I was surprised when the elevator opened and Clark's secretary was there.

Didn't he send his secretary on vacation? Although I was surprised, I greeted her.

"Hi."

She didn't greet me back. Instead, she asked me something.

“Didn't you see the Young Master? He is looking for you.” I frowned at what the secretary said.

We just met earlier. Is he looking for me now? Didn't he say he was going to eat alone?

"He did, what? We just met and he left me," I explained briefly.

His secretary nodded. "Yes. He said you haven't eaten dinner yet. He must follow you."

Huh?

I was even more confused. Is that why he came to me earlier when I was currently looking for my phone to invite me to eat? Did he really do that?

I suddenly came alive. I felt my heart jump for joy. If earlier I was very annoyed with him, now I am happy because of what his secretary said.

It means, he followed me to the bottom of the building to invite me to eat because he knew I hadn't had dinner yet. And because I pissed him off earlier, he sulked even more.

I looked at the secretary with a beautiful smile on my face. "Do you know where he always eats at a nearby restaurant?"

"I will give you the address."

"Thank you!" I giggled and waved my hands as a sign of goodbye.

I walked straight out of this building and started searching for the address his secretary gave me.

At least, I know he still cares about me somehow. And yes, I am happu for that.

I decided already. Since he still cares for me, I shouldn't leave him. I'll stay by his side and prove myself to him again...