Re-Connected: Can two damaged souls become whole again?

Episode 2: Back in Virginia

We made it. We are in Virginia, all three of my young children with my parents. I feel like a complete failure and I’m overcome with grief. Grief and guilt because there is so much I need to fix. I don’t have anything anymore. I will never trust another man. First, my Biological father was very abusive and left me with PTSD but then I get with someone who lied so well to hook me then I realized he is just like my biological father, only this demon tried to kill me more than once, threatened to kill my kids and swears he will hunt me down to make me pay.

The manipulation and lies have damaged my trust in humans. I’m a woman of faith for goodness sake! I’m a smart, independent mother who has a career as a very successful nurse. I can’t be this weak, am I? I’m starting to understand abuse survivors more as I run my real life nightmares through my head as if they’re running on an endless hamster wheel in my mind. I can’t stop the memories or thoughts and I feel hopeless.

I guess since the kids are in school I’ll scroll through f*******: and try to do mindless tasks to keep me in my right mind.

Before I know it I vaguely comment on a post someone on my friends list posted and I didn’t realize until I got a response. Damn, my mind is very foggy. Wait a second, Jon?! As in my elementary, middle and high school crush?! No way! What have I done?!

Embarrassed I read his response, nobody should be treated that way and an apology for what I have been through? Weird, he used to pick on me all through school. Has he changed?

I quickly throw my phone onto the chair I was sitting on in the living room, lay on the couch and fall asleep. I wake when my alarm alerts me the bus will be dropping if my kids in 15 minutes. I fix up my hair and clothing so I don’t look as bad, step outside in slippers and wait for them to get here. I only make it through the day second at a time. I guess that’s a starting point? Completely forgot the f*******: comments and went about my routine, not expecting what’s to come.