Nothing Between Us

I'm at a loss for words because it's been so long since I've felt this way. My mind is racing with countless thoughts and emotions, and it feels like I'm drowning in a never-ending sea of confusion. The sheer magnitude of the events that have taken place in my life is overwhelming, and I can't seem to find any clarity or purpose in any of it. It's as if I'm standing in the middle of a dark forest with no map and no light to guide me out. The weight of it all is crushing me, and I'm struggling to even take my first step forward. Where do I start to make sense of everything that has happened? starting now ... A piece of my memory remembers this one specific moment. The memory is like a photograph gazing into my mind, with every color, texture, and nuance vividly represented. At this moment, I am present once again, surrounded by the sights, sounds, and scents of that day. That I wish to forget. DEAR KIARA, hehehehehehe, I have a crush on this boy. Well, I know I can't have a crush on him. Why? Are you asking why? Well, that is a secret, but I can tell you soon. Well, how about right now? okoaky, I will tell you right now! I like my cousin... His name is Milo. But then he likes my other cousin... I saw them holding hands and walking around the stairs outside. While I was lying down in bed, feeling hot and coughing out of my brain. I'm so sad! goodbye, Kiara! The sight of them together, basking in each other's happiness, often leaves me feeling confused and lost. I'm torn between conflicting emotions, struggling to come to terms with my feelings. Despite the chaos within, I try to put on a brave face and pretend to support them, even though it feels like a mask that I wear, concealing my true emotions. Everyone around them was happy and supported! Was I the only one who felt the pain? Am I the fake one? Am I hurting? Am I lying to them for my benefit? But we are still the best cousins, right? Her name is Beatrice. I am close to her. We are only one year apart. He is older than both of us. At that time, I was only a couple of inches shorter and I remember feeling like I was turning myself into a little deer.