UNTIL DAYLIGHT

11

11.

And I have only one friend

that smokes me at home,

she drinks like me but she never screams ..

I was seeing a movie, in the end it was Matteo who gave me the hole for a change of shift at work. I decided to put on a jumpsuit, let my hair down and relax. I wasn't focused, I had to admit. Those images passed on the screen, and my gaze was on them, but I was thinking of something else.

I was thinking of Mirko.

I hadn't seen him for a while now, apart from the scene at the bar. I missed having him a few steps away from me, looking into his eyes. But perhaps it was better this way. It was better to get away from hasty choices, from quick gestures, and from crushes, infatuations, so taken out of the blue! They would never bring anything good ..

I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment: why couldn't I have certain sensations with Matteo? It would have been easy. I would not have had these thoughts in my head, nor would I feel confused when I am with him.

I already knew that love was strange, but that it had such unpredictable aspects, no.

By now my days were made up only of puffs and sighs, in fact it was inevitable to drive out yet another sigh in seeing those two kissing. I rolled my eyes and it was there that I saw Mirko climb up from the small low balcony, and open the French doors. I let the pc slide on the bed, not bothering to pause the movie, and got to my feet.

"Mirko, are you crazy?" I whispered softly, almost as if I were afraid that someone might hear, even if it was stupid. I shook my head and looked at his face, peering at him.

I saw him smile just as he shook his head: "I needed to see you, and to apologize for what happened .." He said it in a whisper, speaking so softly that I thought he was still ashamed. Indeed, even I would have been ashamed in his place ..

I thought about it as I watched it. He was really beautiful, particular. I noticed, soon after, some bruises on his face; I frowned.

“What did you do to your face?” I asked.

"I had a meeting and I lost .."

“Sit down, I'll give you some disinfectant!” My voice took on a solicitous tone, mixed with concern. I didn't know he was a boxer!

In fact, I knew very little about him.

I went to the bathroom and fetched the disinfectant, some cotton and went back to him. He kept touching the bruise on his face, and I also saw a small cut. He narrowed his eyes and made a sound of annoyance when he touched his fingers.

"He will burn a little, but he tries to stay good .." I muttered.

He nodded.

He opened the bottle of disinfectant and I let some of the liquid fall on the cotton, then I concentrated on my face and started dabbing as slowly as possible.

I took his face with my fingertips and took a good look at the bruise.

"He won't go over this part of the face very easily .." I murmured. I took the patch and stuck it on the cut.

He looked into my eyes the whole time. He watched every single expression I made in healing him. My heart was in my throat, especially after having that contact of my fingers under his chin. I felt my beard pinch my fingertips.

"I'm used to it, you think!" He exclaimed in an ironic tone.

I closed the bottle, arranged the cotton, and headed back to the bathroom to put everything back in its place.

“Do you always take them?” I asked.

"No, not always .. but, almost .." he shrugged and moved off the bed, putting himself at his feet. He was always looking at him, and I felt myself burning inside him. I felt a strange desire growing in my chest.

I wanted to kiss him first.

I just laughed: "Are you that poor?"

“I'm good at other things, baby.” He looked at Me mischievously.

I stepped forward and turned to the cabinet pretending to order what I had used.

Why can a person make you feel so cheap? Taking you so much, yet you know nothing of his life; you don't know if he's a reliable person or not, you don't know what he's been through.

The only thing I knew about him was that he had a girlfriend ..

I went back to the bed and grabbed the pc, turning off the film. I hadn't followed anything anyway, I didn't even remember what he was talking about. Mirko, however, became curious and pointed his finger at it: "What were you seeing?"

I bit my lip: "A stupid love movie. I don't even remember what it's about .."

“Did I distract you?” He grinned, and I rolled my eyes without answering him.

Why did he always have to be so direct and cornered me even more?

“Really…?” He continued, insisting on having an answer to his question.

"Yes, Mirko. Yes." I blurted out as I sat down on the desk chair. "I can't stop thinking about you, and that's not good at all!"

I saw him smile at my confirmation. He came up to me and dropped to his knees: he placed his hand on my thigh, focusing his green eyes on mine.

"I like you, I think he understood himself .."

"Mirko, you have a girlfriend .." I pushed him aside, hiding my legs under the table.

"Milla? Milla is not my fiancée .. She would have been only if she understood how I felt about her when I tried to show her that I was by her side." She sat down on the bed again.

“What now?” I asked him.

"Now I don't know what I feel for her, but no longer that feeling I felt before seeing you. You have changed everything, Ale .. You have turned my life upside down, and I lost today's meeting because I had you in mind . "

I remained silent at this confession, continuing to hear my heart as the only sound to break everything. I could hear it up to my ears.

Why all this?

"Look, I'm more confused than you can be .." she said after a while.

She lay down on one half of the bed and closed her eyes. He wouldn't have fallen asleep here, would he?

I remained, however, in my silence thinking about his words. I was more relieved that he too felt the same feelings as me, and that he felt the same confusion as I did about it.

I turned back to him, his chest slowly moving up and down. He was really sleeping.

"Mirko?" I called him, got no answer. “Come on, Mirko!” I got up and started pushing him gently, but he was still sleeping.

“My God… Do you know you're absurd?” I talked to his sleeping figure of him, then snorted again, again. I tried to settle him well on the bed, returning to sit on the desk and crossing my arms. I would have slept there, no doubt.

I had never slept with a guy, and I was embarrassed to sleep with someone I didn't know. It was 11:40 pm and my eyes felt tired. I started to close my eyelids and rested my head on his arms: how absurd these situations, huh?