The Uncorrupted (English Version)

"Lance, are you busy?" My best friend, Benjamin, hesitantly asked. His irritating voice echoed inside my office. He sat on the couch as I was still finishing some touch-ups for the new project. This was supposed to be presented tomorrow -- Aunt Kris would surely be pissed if I missed something here. "Holy f**k, dude, are you even listening?" He kept on pestering me but I didn't even understand a word he said. I need to finish my draft tonight -- I have a f*****g deadline. "I'm busy, Benj. What do you need?" I lazily answered him, not taking my eyes off my monitor. "I've been talking for 10 minutes, Lance. Are you for real?" He complained as if it was my fault that I wasn't paying attention to him. He sounded like a kid, throwing a tantrum over some of his ice cream that was thrown off the ground. I rolled my eyes at him. "I'm really busy, I need to finish these drawings, man. If it's not that important, please just tell me later." I couldn't help being irritated -- the pressure and lack of sleep were already catching up on me. I'm sure that Aunt Kris will ask for the final output later. We have an early meeting with the clients tomorrow, so she wants to check through the plans before we present them. Benj sighed. I raised my head to look at him pointedly. "This is important, Lance. I saw her -- in New York last week. She was with Kris and Alyssa." Wait, what? I almost dropped the Apple Pen from my hold. I wasn't really sure if I heard him correctly. I must've been hearing things. I eyed my best friend with a guarded expression -- we've known each other since we were kids, and we grew up together, so I knew if he was lying. He had his tells. "I'm not in the mood for jokes," I warned him. He just shook his head with disdain. "Wish I was kidding, man. I even talked to them. I tried to -- they had Kris backed up in a corner so I tried to help her." He shrugged. My voice left me. I didn't know what to say or how to respond. Should I lie to him and pretend that this news was just nothing? It's been years... I have already tried to forget her. I have already cut ties to everything and anything that is connected to her. She left me... I don't think I could ever forgive her. I was a stupid, love-sick fool then... but now, I'm much stronger -- a better version of myself. The pain I felt that night was still there -- it was a dull ache that never went away. Like a f*****g open wound that I endured for years. "So you're telling me, my Aunt, met with her ex-girlfriend? Who in their right mind would believe you, Benj?" I chuckled before continuing my work. Knowing my aunt, she would never, ever reach out to Alyssa again. Their relationship was messy -- I know for sure, Aunt Kris wouldn't start any type of communication with her. "When will people start believing me?! Jeez -- I wasn't joking! I saw them -- they were talking about something serious." He sounded frustrated and really annoyed that I wasn't listening. Fine -- let's see. "Okay, I'll bite -- why are you telling me this?" Boredom was apparent in my voice. I cupped my forehead when I saw that it was almost eight in the evening. f**k -- my head immediately throbbed at the thought of overtime work! Benj eyed me skeptically -- as if he was gauging if I was being serious. In the end, he still spilled. "Because..." He paused, making me feel a bit more frustrated with him. "I heard she was coming back here." Benj now stood in front of my desk. He was emphasizing that she was coming back home. The pressure in my head has definitely spiked now. The incoming headache I was feeling was now on full blast upon hearing what he had said. Why -- was she coming back... "Hmm.. so? Then let them go home. They have their own house here. Do I look like I have their house keys?" I tried to act as nonchalantly as I could. I didn't want Benj to see that I was still affected. It was just her... Benj was staring at me with his left eyebrow quirked. This was his signature face when he was trying to get through to me. Sadly, it just irked me more than I should have. "Stop it, Lance. Stop pretending you don't care and you're not affected. You're still a f*****g soft boy no matter what you do." He laughed at me as my eyes followed his hands. He fished out mint gum from his pockets elegantly. I thought he was still smoking. "It's just gum. I was just so stressed for you, dude." I could hear him chewing the gum, making my heart go wilder than it should. "What are you getting stressed about? Jesus, Benjamin -- even my aunt wasn't that affected. You know how protective she is with me and Liam, right?" I said while I carefully drew another line to fix the remaining part I needed to edit. He chuckled bitterly. "Kris didn't see what I saw." A hint of hesitation was there. Now, Benjamin has been really a gossiper since we were kids. It was just strange that he was being vague about this. I was getting frustrated with his staggered story. "Okay, if you're not going to continue your story, just don't tell me." I grumpily muttered -- my curiosity is killing me, honestly. "Man... it's just... she's been a good friend to me too. I don't know if I should be the one to tell you about this,", he said, with a hint of sadness in his voice. My head snapped in his direction -- there was a pinch inside my chest. I knew that I wasn't the only one who lost something when we broke up. "What the f**k are you talking about, Benj? Tell me now. Stop with the Charles Dickens cliffhangers!" He sighed deeply before gazing at me with that look again. Pity. I f*****g hate it. "Look... I know that you still haven't moved on from her. Even if you tried to hide it -- I knew you, you're my best friend. You're always pretending and showing us that you're cool with it... but maybe... it's already time to let go?" His being careful with his words didn't go unnoticed by me. He even said this softly, which is, by the way, very out of character. My eyes and ears warmed -- he was seriously asking me to let go? He was the number one supporter of our relationship before... what happened? Everyone knew that even if I pretended to be moved on, I was still... and would always be in love with her. Even with all my nonchalant acts of not caring, of my avoiding the topic, they knew that it would always be her. Even after all the years that passed -- it was still her. I didn't even have a serious girlfriend after her... I finished my studies, and I got my dream job... but it was still her. I tried. I honestly tried -- so hard to forget about her. But it was all a futile attempt... "Lance, dude?" My train of thought was broken when Benj spoke. I composed myself -- my stoic face was on. "What? Who told you that I haven't been able to move one? You were just the ones assuming I haven't. We broke up years ago, Benj. Do you think I have the time to think about her? I have a lot of work to do, my job's demanding as it is." Right -- fake it till you make it, Lance. You can do that. Benjamin gasped. "Fuck... you're that cold, huh? Who are you and what have you done to my best friend? Are you really sure that you're not in love with her anymore? Final answer?" He was starting to get on my nerves. Of all my friends, he was the only one who could push me to resort to violence. Fucker's that pushy. "What? Come on, Benjamin -- don't tell me I moved on before you did? Can you please stop with the bull--" he cut me off and talked really fast. I didn't even catch a word of what he said. I blinked my eyes -- what the f**k did he just say? "Dude, can you talk to me in Earth Language?" My voice slightly raised exactly when Timothy and Harvey went into my office with their shocked faces. "Hey, why are you yelling, Lance? You look like you're about to murder Benjamin." Tim asked before he joined Harvey on the couch. Benjamin then went to them and shook both of their hands. "Dude! f**k, I missed you guys. Let's hang out this week. I don't have any commitments and I'm free until the end of the month!" They all talked as if Benj and I weren't in the middle of a conversation before they came in. Jesus -- I need to reconsider being friends with them. It looks like I need to take my work home again. f**k -- these guys in one room? I wouldn't be able to do any work at all. "Where's your fiance, Benj? Why are you bothering Lance? You should have come to us, my office was just across the hall!" Harvey excitedly said. I just let them talk and plan what they're going to do. I have no plans of joining them at all -- I have a busy schedule and tons of work to do, no time to play at all. We were all sidetracked and I almost forgot that Benj had something to say. "Benj, weren't you about to tell me something important?" I asked with my eyes still on my monitor, pretending to edit my work. I didn't hear him answer me, so I turned my swivel chair to fix my things. I got the rolled floor plans across the desk and placed them in the side pocket of my bag. "Ah s**t, sorry! Yeah, I almost forgot -- got carried away here. But uh... are you really sure, Lance?" He knew that I hated being asked repeatedly but he still did. I threw him a murderous glare and didn't speak. I was silently telling him to go on with it or just shut the f**k up. He held his arms in a surrender position. Harvey and Timothy laughed as they watched our interaction. "Why are you so grumpy?" He huffed before walking in front of my desk again. "You should get laid or bust a nut -- jack off. Just to get your frustrations out of the way!" I just rolled my eyes at Tim's comment. After I zipped my bag, I raised my eyes to look at Benjamin expectantly. He was still wearing a very apprehensive expression. "Uh... okay. I said I saw her last week, right?" He asked, going in circles again. Jesus H. Christ. Harvey gasped, overacting, and exclaimed, "What?! f**k, man. Why didn't you call us right away? Should I get my suit and tie ready for the wedding?" God... why am I even friends with these dorks? The throbbing of my head increased. I thought my night would be quiet but it only took them less than 10 minutes to disrupt my peace! "Are you going to continue your story, Benj? Cause if not, I'll just go home -- you can talk to Harvey and Tim instead." I stood and got my bag from the top of my desk, ready to leave the room with the three stooges. I turned my back at them to check for anything that I might have left. "Bro, wait -- let me finish! Jeez, and Harv... we won't be attending a wedding. Because she is already married... and has a kid." The room got quiet, you could almost hear a pin drop. Tim and Harvey stood unmoving, shocked about the news. They knew who we were talking about -- it was an unspoken rule of not saying her name whenever they were around me. I didn't know where to focus... should I just get up and leave or should I digest the news Benjamin broke. Of all the gossipers I knew, Benj never gave me fake news. All of them were accurate and true. Holy s**t. It was a good thing that my back was facing them. They wouldn't see how my world crumbled down and how I was trying to hold my tears. She is already married, huh... She's got a kid too... So she continued our plans with another person... that kinda stings. I breathed in subtly before I moved to place my laptop inside my bag. As I closed the zipper, I faced them while I got my phone from the dock beside my desktop computer. I could see the three of them watching my reaction -- as if they were expecting some emotions to come out. The thing is, I have already mastered the art of concealing pain... pretending that everything is okay. I mastered being numb in front of other people. I don't want to be seen as an innocent weakling anymore. "Then? That's it? What was so hard about saying that, Benj?" I said with an empty look. Harvey and Tim looked at me like they couldn't believe what I had just said. Benj, on the other hand, looked at me with worry. They were all transparent, and I f*****g hate it. They looked at me with sympathy, like they were sorry about what happened and the misfortune of being in my position. I worked so hard to make sure that I would never experience that kind of pain again. I never want to go through that again -- the feeling of not being good enough no matter what you do. The feeling of being underestimated. From then on... I promised myself that I would be stronger even if I had to be this cold bastard that everyone hated. As long as people can never hurt me again -- I'm good. From my experience, once you wear your emotions on your sleeves, people will see your weakness and use it against you. "Was that the only news? I thought somebody was dying or something -- it wasn't that important then." I said coolly before swinging my bag on my shoulder. They were still staring at me, wondering why I didn't even flinch. "Did you hear what I just said, Lance Noah? She got married and already has a kid... wouldn't you say anything?" Benj approached me carefully as if I was a ticking time bomb. Even Harvey and Tim stood, backing Benj up. My face remained stoic. If they thought cornering me like this would make me bawl my eyes out in front of them, they must've been dreaming. "Uh... good for her? Congrats? What do you want me to say, Benjie?" Steady, Lance... You can let it all out once you get home, Lance... just a bit more. "Lance..." Harvey's tone was so soft, I swear it was like a lullaby. Their looks... their voices... I need to get the hell away from them. Everything almost flashed back to me... the night I begged her to stay... when I begged her to choose me. I saw that same look that night... it was a nightmare. I had to go through it every time I f*****g closed my eyes. So I did what I do best, shrugged and left the room without saying anything.