His Precious Lies

It was past eleven o’clock in the evening when Lara was thrown back in her seat. She dreams it again, their memory together of how they met each other. She felt that memories are priceless until her last breath; she will not forget that, and she will take them with her to the afterlife because Hugo is that important to her. That's how she values the memories of both of them. I didn’t realize that I had fallen asleep waiting for Hugo. There are fifteen minutes left until Christmas; he’s still not coming. Where the hell is he? Or did he just forget our anniversary? I got up and went to the balcony of our condo. It’s nice to see the towering buildings with Christmas decorations. Christmas lights that are soothing to look at whenever they change color. I heard the Christmas song, accompanied by the cold weather. It’s so cold that it’s pleasant to feel when someone is with you and hugs you while waiting for Christmas to come. The honking of car horns could be heard here as well. The moon is shining as if it were talking. I couldn’t take my eyes off the moonlight, and to my great joy, I didn’t notice Hugo’s presence. “L-Lara?” he called me. When I looked at him, I immediately saw his bulging eyes. To my great delight, I was unable to restrain myself. I dashed between us and jumped to hug him; he looked surprised. I want to first forget everything and focus on this day with him. My legs were wrapped around his waist and my arms were wrapped around his neck so tightly. He did not speak but gently stroked my back. Massages that are so good to feel. I smiled and then pressed my face against his fragrant neck. We were in that position for a few minutes when I looked at my watch. Ten minutes left, and Christmas is coming. I smiled and then let go of his hug. My smile suddenly disappeared when I saw his raw smile, but I immediately smiled too and gently pulled him towards the dining table. “I prepared this for you, love! Happy anniversary, love!” I said, cheerfully. I pulled him out of the chair. He was looking at me as I was doing that. “Hmm…” he said briefly, and suddenly I lost that smile again. It turns out that I must pay him for me to get the appropriate answers. I sighed at the lack of words. I also sat down in front of him and quietly put food on his plate, and then I put the table napkin on my lap. This is supposed to be romantic, but he just ruined the vibes. What’s wrong with him? He seems too quiet. I frowned as I picked up the spoon, but I could feel his gaze on me as if he had something to say. No words came out, only cutlery making noise. We have still five minutes left until Christmas is coming, and I’m excited to give him the gift I bought for him, and this time I’m confident he’ll like it. We finished eating. We only had three minutes. Why is the time so slow now? I did not speak but remained silent and continued roaming around the condo. I also noticed his creeping stares, and he glanced at me. Two minutes left before Christmas... I stood there and that caused him to talk. I sighed in relief. Finally! “Where are you going?” he asked me in a worried tone. Instead of answering him, I just smiled at him and continued walking to our room. I picked up a small box and smilingly walked out of the room, but Hugo was already standing right outside the door. I was suddenly stunned by him. He stared at me. A few moments later... “Lara, let’s break up. I don’t need this relationship anymore,” he suddenly said. The moment he said those words to me, it gave me the vibe that he was sincere. I feel like I’m deaf to what he said. It was as if heaven and earth were covering me with the intensity of the beating of my chest. A few seconds of silence from us. What did he say? Break up? Son of a kitten! “What did you say?” I was hoping that I had just misheard him. He took a deep breath and stared into my eyes before he spoke. He bit his lip. “Let's break up,” he sighed and bowed his head. I was stunned by what I heard. I couldn’t quite imagine that he could do this to me despite my silence and blindness. But this time it was him who decided to let me go. Even though I was holding him tightly, he was still able to let me go. Whatever stupidity I committed; he was still capable of leaving me behind. “Wait!” I slapped my face at the same time, hoping it wasn’t true, but it was real one. “W-Why? For what reason? Do you have anyone else? Did I do something wrong? Tell me?” I couldn’t help but ask him, even though I really knew the answer. I can’t afford to lose him to me. He was my first and I thought he would be the last, but I was wrong in thinking that because that was only temporary. And maybe this will be the end for Hugo and me. That’s all. That’s all I am for him. A few minutes of silence before he spoke again. “Let’s break up,” he told me again. I stared at him and waited for what he would say next, but I heard nothing from him. It’s hard to love. This is not what I expected. This is not what I expected from loving him. I don’t know why Hugo and I had this relationship. Is it because it’s my fault and I took so long to talk to him? Or is it because it’s not really the right time for us? I'm not sure which of those two to pick. I want to find the answer to that question, but regardless of what I think, I can’t find it. Furthermore, I have been a good child, but why am I deprived of this? Why am I being tortured like this? Do I no longer have the right to love and to be loved back? “That’s bullshit, Hugo! Give me a damn explanation. Why are you breaking up with me?” Such a fool, Lara! Don’t ask because you yourself know the answer to that question. “Let’s split up! This relationship won’t work anymore!” Hugo stated once more. I don’t know what to do. I’m mad at him because that’s the only reason he gave me. I know there is more, but why does he seem to have a hard time telling me that? Furthermore, I loved him for five years, I trusted him for five years, and I endured the pain for five years to make this relationship last. But why did I receive pain in return? Why do you have to be hurt if you just want to love and be loved back? Is that so hard to do and stand for? Why do they complicate things? When there's a simple way to deal with it? I want you to tell me what your real reason is. I want to hear it coming from his mouth. The answer I want. The answers that I already knew. But why is Hugo like this? Why do you think that way? Why? Don’t you think I’m hurting too, that I’m just human too? Why don’t you think we can get through all that when we face the test together? However, I forgot, that it wasn’t real because it was just a lie. It was for your revenge, and I was one of your tools for that. I’m solely your toy. I looked at him in disbelief. At the same time, the tears flowed relentlessly before I prevent it from coming out. “Let’s break up La--” “Please, not now, please,” I pleaded with him. I can’t stand the moment he's going to leave me behind. I cannot do it. Furthermore, I’m going to lose everything, not just him. I will do everything, everything, everything, even if I get hurt. “Lara, listen to me. We need this. We need this. We can’t grow if we stay like this. We’ve become too aggressive with our feelings. Maybe it’s not our time yet.” Wait, pause for a moment. As far as I remember, you were the one who liked this at first, didn’t you? And now that I’ve already fallen for you, you just leave me like that? Where the hell is that coming from? I wanted to say those words, but this stupid and fragile heart chose to ignore them again. “No, no, no, Hugo, let’s fix this. Everything will be alright for us. Just give me some time to fix this. After that, if it’s still not effective, I promise you that I will set you free myself. Please, not now, please.” I knelt to plead with him while sobbing in tears. I was nervous that I might lose everything at any moment. Tears welled up as I hugged his waist tightly, afraid of being left behind at any moment. I don't care if I am being desperate here. I don’t care as long as the important thing is that we fix it. He is my life. My world just revolves around him. He's like oxygen. When I lose him, I will die. I can’t stand it when that happens. “Lara, stand up,” he said, and he lifted me up, but I restrained him. “No, Hugo, I won’t stand here if you don’t change your mind! Just please, let’s fix this mess together. We can conquer it all if we’re both together” I proudly begged him. He tries to get me out of his waist, but I don’t allow him to do that. But... “Please, Lara! Don’t force yourself on me! I don’t want to be with you!” he shouted, causing my grip on his waist to loosen, but I couldn’t let go of it. Something magical told me not to let him go, but when he said that he wake me up completely. He sighed, as I gasped for breath, my chest tightening. While he was still holding my shoulder, he tried to lift me up, but I became alert to what he was doing and clung to his waist tightly again. I’m so terrified at this moment. But I thought he would stop me there, but I was so disappointed when he slowly let go of my shoulders to stand up. He sniffed and wiped away his tears. I forgot that he is Hugo Hazama Tuazon, the married man who used me as his mistress. “If you really don’t want to stand there, I’ll leave. So, take care of yourself, Lara, because I’m no longer here. Believe me, we require this. If the time comes and we meet again, I will make sure we can be together again. Farewell, my love, until we meet again,” he said, simultaneously kissing my forehead and forcefully removing my hands that were squeezing from his waist. And at that moment, he succeeded—he succeeded in hurting me. My heart was broken at those times. At the same time, as he left, he turned his back on me, went to the door, and completely disappeared from my eyes. When he turned his back, my world collapsed into a world where only he and I were there. I counted to five, staring at the door, hoping he would come back and take back everything he had been told. And I’m willing to open my arms again to hug him tight. I’m willing to forget all the things he said to me earlier. “Come back, come back, come back, come back, please!” I was talking to myself like crazy, but that’s how my shoulders dropped when I realized that he wasn’t really coming back to me. The relationship I treasure, the relationship I fantasize until the end, the relationship I have devoted my entire life is now gone, just like a snap. If he just told me everything, I’m willing to forgive and accept him wholeheartedly, but he didn’t! Everyone goes through stupidity for love; no one loves someone who doesn’t go through stupidity. But all that stupidity has a limit and that’s it. Maybe it’s time for me to stop this stupidity! “Merry Christmas!” “Toooooooooooooooooottttt!” “Toooooooooooooooooottttt!” “Toooooooooooooooooottttt!” “Toooooooooooooooooottttt!” “Merry Christmas!” “Wohoooo!” “Merry Christmas!” “Wohoooo!” “Merry Christmas!” “Wohoooo!”  It’s already Christmas and tears won’t stop falling... I’m starting to hate Christmas.