Starts at Ends

13 - Aluminum

Chapter XIII

“Life is unpredictable like an earthquake. Life is a misery, at the same time, it acts lovely. Life imposes things we can’t control.”

Seryoso akong nakikinig sa unahan at napatingin sa harapan kung nasaan si Fr. Raymond. He was announced as priest for over 30 years and he was the priest who talked to me when I did a confession last time.

He knows my story too. 

“But you still have the choice of how you’re going to live through this because living your life is a choice.”

Hindi ko alam kung pinapatamaan ba niya ako or sadyang natatamaan lang talaga ako?

“Everyone is fighting a battle we don’t know about.” He looked at me. “Lahat tayo ay naghihirap, nahihirapan at patuloy na maghihirap.”

I looked at Shine when she holds my hand suddenly.

“You okay?” I lowered down to whisper to her.

“Of course.” She smiled.

“Good.”

“Pero kahit sa kabila ng lahat ng pagsubok, we chose and we will continue to choose to fight.”

Napangiti ako.

“But ate..."

"Hmm?"

"When will Fr. ends his homily?”

Bigla kong tinakpan ang bibig ng kapatid ko nang ang bulong niya ay naging malakas.

“Malapit na, okay? Just be quiet for a while and listen, hmm?”

She joyfully nodded and did what I said. Nginitian ko na lamang ang mga nakarinig sa kapatid ko upang humingi ng pasensya.

“You know why some people out there chooses to fight?” Tanong niya sa lahat na akala ko sa akin mismo itinanong.

With his question, everyone intently offer their ear to the host and it made a defeaning silence.

The priest beamed. "Anyone? Who knows why we are all here gather and chose to serve Him despite of the struggles we had?"

“Love, father!” I heard someone from the crowd answered.

Seriously?

I looked in front when Fr. Raymond didn’t give any statement for approval or disagreement. Instead, he just smiled meaningfully and ended his homily.

What’s with love?  

“We’re going to eat na po?”

“Nope.” Mom naughtily teased Shine. “Kidding, honey.”

Shine raised her two arms showing her great happiness. Akmang papasok na kami sa loob ng kotse namin nang makita nila daddy ang mga Salazar na palapit samin.

“Hey, anino! Nagsisimba ka pala?"

I turned my gaze at him after I greeted his parents, but not with an arched brow.

“Hey, what’s up?” I smiled. “Boy tumbling.” Napatawa ako sa huli kong sinabi na siyang nagpakawala ng ngiti sa kanyang labi.

Naalala ko yung nangyari sa orphanage na naghahabulan kami. Tinulak niya kasi ako sa mga bata para gawing taya! Kaya ayun, fate works more favorable on my side that time, kase nadapa siya nung akma siyang tatalikod; na parang bang tuma-tambling. Napagtawanan pa siya ng mga bata pati nina sister, naging instant-taya pa ako.

Great, right?

Pina-ikotan niya lang ako ng mata tapos tinalikuran. May tumatawag sa cellphone niya kaya naman binaling ko na lang sa harapan ko ang atensyon ko.

“You two are getting closer, aren't you?” His mom commented.

“No way. Feeling close lang po talaga yung anak niyo.” Mabilis kong sagot. “Sorry po, no offense.”

Umiling lang si tita at tinawanan lamang ako.

“Well, mabuti na rin yun at nagiging malapit na silang dalawa.”

Lumapit si daddy sa’kin pagkatapos niyang pasakayin si Shine sa loob ng sasakyan.

“At least, nadagdagan ang lalaking nakakausap nitong anak ko.”

I frowned.

“I agree.” Mom wrapped her arms at my waist. “Nababawasan yung pangamba kong lalaki 'tong matandang-dalaga.”

“Hey-”

They didn’t hear my comment when they all laugh loudly.

“Sayang naman pag-nagkataon.”

I just rolled my eyes and went inside of the car when they didn’t stop teasing me. Ipinasok ko na lang sa tenga ko ang earbuds ko and turned on my music. In my frustration, I ignored my sister’s queries at my side referring the word we heard before the homily ended.

Ba’t ako tinatanong niya e hindi ko rin alam kung ano yon. 

I sighed. My Sunday is too blessed to be ruined.

“Hindi mo ba ako na-miss ha? Ba’t ka nakasimangot diyan?” Arteng sabi ni Jo habang patuloy na kinakalaykay ang mga paperbags sa sahig ng kwarto ko.

“Palibhasa may kasama nang iba.” Pagpaparinig ni Zeah.

“Is he courting you or what? Bakit ba palagi na lang kayong magkasama?” Dagdag ni Jo na naging dahilan sa pagtigil ni Axi sa paglalaro ng mobile games sa phone niya.

“Excuse me?”

Umupo ako sa harapan nila pagkatapos silang batukan. 

“Aray!"

"Mapanakit ka masyado, Shad. Ahlabyu.” Ze rolled her eyes.

“Unang-una.” I turned my gaze at Jo. “Na-miss kita, okay?”

She smiled and touched her chest dramatically. "Really!?"

“Pero, ilang linggo pa lang naman nang hindi tayo nagkikita ah? Ay no -scratch that! Nagkita tayo two days ago sa Zinc diba? Para namang ang layo-layo ng school mo sa CIT. Wag kang dramatic!”

She pouted.

“Pangalawa. May kasama nang iba?” Tiningnan ko naman si Zeah this time.

“E sino ba sa atin ang nang-iiwan na lang bigla-bigla para pumunta sa kabilang dako nitong Cebu para makasama ang boyfriend niya?”

Umiwas siya ng tingin at mabilisang kumuha ng libro sa side table ko. Kunwari nagbabasa. Tsk.

I looked at Axi as he waited for my answer for the last question thrown by Jo.

“No! No way like helium he would court me.”

Nilagay niya sa table ko ang cellphone niya at umupo ng maayos.

“Tsaka, hindi naman kami palaging nagsasama ah. Minsan lang kaya.”

Akmang magsasalita si Zeah nang takpan ko ang bibig niya.

“At sa minsan na yun, wala kayo! Palagi niyo kong iniiwan.” Padabog akong tumayo patungo sa kama ko at humiga.

Mabuti pa tong langit at mga bituin na nakapinta sa kisame ko, mas kanais-nais pang tingnan kesa sa mga walanghiyang atoms kong kaibigan.

“Sorry na.” Pagsasalita ni Ze. “Kasi naman, alam mo nama-” Umupo ako at hinarap si Zeah.

“Alam ko.” I nodded. “I’m just saying..." I sighed. "Look. I may not know how difficult you feel or felt every time he is not at your side, but I understand.” Dahan-dahan siyang lumapit sakin at yumakap patagilid.

"Echos." Biro niya pa.

“Kaya nga hinahayaan kita diba?”

She nodded.

“Kasi alam kong hindi namin mapapantayan yung ligaya na nadarama mo when you’re with Khent.”

Natahimik sina Jo sa sinabi ko samantalang kumawala naman si Zeah sa akin. 

“Mahal na mahal mo talaga yung tao no?"

She answered me with a giggle.

"Ganyan ba talaga kapag nagmamahal?"

"Big word." Axi butt in.

"What, why? I'm just wondering, you know."

"Stop wondering and just come back to me."

Simple akong napangiti sa sinabi niya. Ang bakla, nagbibinata!

"Aduh!" Jo sneered as she got irritated with the topic.

Palibhasa wala pang balak magseryoso ang lokaret nato. Kailan kaya to titino sa lalaki?

Umiling ako at binalik na lamang ang tingin sa katabi.

"Seriously? You will do anything just to be with your lover, is that so? Do you need to sacrifice the other half of your life just because of that someone you love?” I curiously asked Zeah.

Ilang beses ko na kase siyang nakitang umiyak dahil diyan sa pagmamahal na yan. I countlessly witnessed all her breakdowns. I saw how devastated she was whenever she needed to choose over something she can't even know how to deal with.

Kaya nagtataka ako. Why would people like her, still wanted to take a step forward just to love and be loved despite of those pains and heartbreaks they might cross?

I frowned, getting more annoyed and curious of that speculation of mine.

But instead of giving me an answer, Zeah gave me a smile which gave me a hundreds of sensation and nosiness in my veins.

“You're learning. Saan mo napulot yang mga yan?” She smirked.

“Sayo symempre.” Patol ko nang balewalain niya ang mga tanong ko.

“Heh!”

We both chuckled.

“Oh my ghad!”

Nabaling ang tingin namin kay Jo nang sumigaw siya.

“It’s from Rayl!”

She raised the color black paper bag I’ve received from that jerk last time.

Jo hysterically shrieked. "Ano kaya to!?"

"What's with the black? Patay ba niregaluhan niya?"

"Kahit ata ang patay, hindi magugustuhan ang pinili niyang kulay para sa regalo."

I silently agreed with Axi. Kumag talaga! Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ako sa kanya dahil napansin niyang I like black and white o ma-iinsulto dahil parang hindi naman pam-birthday yung gift niya. Ramdam ko sa gift wrapper pa lang!

“Bakit ba kasi hindi mo binuksan tong mga regalong binigay sayo?” Angal ni Ze habang tumutulong sa pagbukas ng mga paperbags.

“Ito yung sinasabi ni Ate Reanly na gift exhibit.” Tawang sabat ni Axi na siyang binalewala ko.

“Omo! It’s a love letter!”

I keenly looked at the paper Jo was holding. She exclaimed suddenly like there's a wildfire which caught our attention.

“Hala, patingin!”

Dinikit ni Zeah ang mukha niya sa isang maliit na pirasong papel na hawak-hawak ni Jo. They squeaked like a piglet as they fought for the paper.

“Kainin mo na lang kaya Ze? Nahiya ka pa.”

Tumawa ako nang barahin siya ni Axi.

“Parang timang.”

“Sorry naman!”

“Ano ba! Hindi ko makita yung nakasulat. Atras!”

Agad silang tumalima sa utos ni Jo. Napailing ako. Magkakalat na naman tong mga impakta dito.

“You ready, Shad?” She humorously smiled at me.

Umiling lamang ako. "For sure, that's useless."

“Bilis na Jo! Ang daming pa-andar e.”

“You shut up, Ze. Panira ka ng momentum.”

“Sige, mag-away muna kayo diyan.” Sumandal ulit si Axi sa sofa. “Text niyo na lang ako pagtapos na kayo.”

I rolled my eyes with their stubbornness. Kahit kailan talaga!

“Heto na, heto na!"

Dahan-dahang binuksan ni Jo ang papel na siyang nagbibigay ng ibang ritmo sa puso ko.

Ano naman kayang kahibangan ang isinulat niya?

“Ha!?” Panabayan nilang sigaw na ikinalito ko.

“Patingin.” Kinuha ni Axi ang papel upang suriin ito.

Umiling siya at humalagakhak. “No more, no less. Gift.”

Itinapon niya ang papel sa kung saan na siyang kinuha naman kaagad ni Zeah. I took a peek and saw the message. I tsked as I’ve read it.

“Sabi ko na walang-kwenta e.” I irritatedly crumbled it.

"Ano ba yan!" Ze dissapointedly uttered. "Akala ko naman ano na, tsk."

I disregarded their dissapointments and turned to Axi. He slid his phone back to his pocket when he get bored, I smiled as our eyes met.

His brown hair was tousled making it a bit messy, but in an attractive way. Ang linis pa ng mukha na parang kakaligo lang kaya mas gwapo siyang tingnan sa lagay niya ngayon. My eyes almost sparkled as I saw his dazzling blue eyes staring at my caramel eyes.

"Anong mga tinginan na naman yan!?"

I pursed my lips, naiirita kong binalingan si Zeah. She crossed her arms and made a frowning face at us. Pabaling-baling ang tingin niya sa amin ni Axi. I pushed her away when she lean closer to my face.

"Ano ba, Ze!"

"Heh, baka naman may something na sa inyong dalawa ha!"

Axi chuckled, lovely. "Anong something ba?"

"Hoy di tayo-talo ha!"

Pinaikotan ko ng mata si Jo nang sumali pa siya sa usapan. She intently stared at me, making me anxious for a minute.

"Who gave you that necklace?"

Napamaang ako. "Ha?"

Dali-dali kong itinago sa suot kong sando ang kwintas nang makita ang mapanuri nilang mga tingin at lumayo sa pwesto nila. I pretended to check the AC above my bed as I felt my cheeks heated.

"Sira ba 'to?" I excused.

"Sayo galing yan, Ax?"

The guy shrugged at Jo's question. "Nope. I bought her a cassette player as a gift. But,"

"It's nice kaya." Ze intruded. "Pati meaning ng kwintas, maganda rin. Mas maganda nga lang ako."

Napangiwi ako.

"Assumera nito. Inagawan mo pa ng titulo si Axi." Jo teased.

"HA HA, nakakatawa."

I laughed at Axi's pissed face.

“Pero mabalik tayo sa usapan, Shad.”

We looked at Jo when she inserted. I boringly gave her a glance before turning at my phone.

“So, friends na kayo ni Rayl?”

I furrowed. “Friends?"

"Oo."

Umiling ako. "I don’t think so.”

Our college life has started three weeks ago. I took a business ad course even though it is not my ideal course. Lahat sila nagulat sa naging desisyon ko, but then it was final, I was already decided.

Okay lang naman na isipin ko naman ang mga taong nakapaligid sa akin this time, diba? My parents want me to lead our company someday, even though they weren't about it yet, I know they wishes for it. Kaya tutulongan ko na muna sila sa ngayon. I don't have a dreamto start with, so why bother?

Josceah took a med course while Zeah chose tourism as her course. Iba-iba kami ng class sched ni Zeah and Axi because of our courses, of course, even though we’re at the same school unlike Jo. 

“Ha? E ano kayo, more than friends?”

Napangiwi ako sa naging komento ni Ze.

“E ano nga?”

“Nothing! He is nobody. I just know him and vice-versa. No special title or what.”

“Diba classmate lang naman kayo ni Rayl, Ax? Bakit siya nasasamahan si Shad, ikaw hindi?”

“Hoy, bruha ka.” Binatukan ni Axi si Ze sa naging tanong niya. “Nagkakasama lang naman yung dalawa na 'yan pag hindi ko nasasamahan si Shad.”

“Yeah. Pabantayan ba naman ako sa kumag na 'yun. Ano, ako bata?”

Akmang magsasalita si Axi nang takpan ko ang tenga ko at bumalik sa pagkakahiga.

“Umuwi na kayo.”

Pinikit ko ang aking mga mata at umayos sa pagkakahiga.

“May pasok pa tayo bukas. Goodnight.”

Narinig ko ang mga hakbang nila palabas ng kwarto ko pero may nahagilap pa akong bulong na siyang pumukaw sa diwa ko.

“Feeling ko talaga may something na sa kanilang dalawa.”

“Sweet nightmare Zeah!”

“Uh- yeah! Hihi. Sweetdreams, Shad.”

I just rolled my eyes and fixed my hair to sleep.

No way in chemistry it will happen.

“Hey!”

Theya tapped my shoulder as she took a sit at my right side. I heaved. Unfortunately, she’s my classmate, worse, my seatmate.

“Napapadalas ata yung pagsasama niyo ni Rayl?”

Rayl? Rayl na naman? May inis ko siyang binalingan. 

Like helium, what’s with them? And so what?

“Pinaglalapit ata kayo masyado ni Mr. Fate? Why do you think so?” Her brows arched when she faced me.

“I don’t hella know coz I don’t effin’ care.” Padabog kong sinara ang libro na binabasa ko. Inisturbo niya ako para lang sa tanong na yan?

She smiled. “Gosh. HAHA you’re really- wow! Nagtatanong lang, okay?”

Umayos siya ng upo at bumaling sa harapan namin nang dumating ang last prof. namin today. And so I thought she will not disturbed me again, hindi pala.

“You know what’s the meaning of that thing?”

Palihim niya akong tinanong patungkol sa kwentas ko. Napansin niya siguro ang bagay nato kasi hindi ko naman hinuhubad, palagi kong suot-suot kahit saan at kahit kailan. And a kind of person like her will really noticed. Siya pa? Pakialamera siya e.

“Can you just shut up and listen to the discussion?” I retorted while taking down notes.

“Edi ikaw na matalino.” She teased and then didn't bugged me again.

Una pa lang talaga ayoko na sa babaeng to. Aside from the fact that she’s that jerk’s cousin, hindi ko lang talaga feel yung aura niya. It feels like she brings trouble to my life, like his cousin. Tumayming pa na same courses kami. I once asked her kung bakit pinili niya tong course nato, mabuti naman at sinagot niya ako ng matino. Saying that Tita Tania chose her to inherit their company.

“Why you?”

“Kasi hindi si Rayl?”

Pero sa umpisa lang pala siya matinong kausap. Damn her, tinanong ko lang naman kung bakit siya? Why not the jerk? E siya naman ang nag-iisang anak. Bawal bang mamahala ang isang engineer? At tsaka, siya lang ba nag-iisang kamag-anak nila Tita Tania? Does she plays a very special role at their lives to decide to be their heiress?

“Ang dami mong tanong. You’re interested on me now?” She taunted.

Dahil dun ay hindi ko na siya kinausap pa especially when it’s not related to our course. Nakakastress siyang kausap! Ngayon lang ulit kami nagkausap actually na hindi tungkol sa class activities, assignments or projects.

“Dismissed.”

Lahat kami ay nagmamadaling umalis sa silid pagkatapos mag-ring ng school bell.

“Hey, Kitty!”

I silently groaned as I heard his voice. Potassium.

“I told you not to call me with that pet name.” Angal ng katabi ko.

“Oh? Hey, anino!”

I sighed when he didn’t missed to tease me.

“Whatever. BT.”

He c****d his head towards my direction. "Stop calling me boy tumbling."

"Then stop calling me anino!"

He smirked. "Ayoko."

I shut my eyes to repress my irritation. Patuloy kong nililigpit ang mga gamit ko habang nasa tabi ko silang nag-uusap. Kami na lang tatlo ang naiwan sa loob ng room dahil maagang nagsiliparan ang mga kaklase ko. Kasali rin sana ako sa nagliparan sa ngayon kung wala lang 'tong dalawang atoms na paharang-paharang sa daan ko.

And yup, nagliparan talaga. Sino ba naman kasi ang hindi magwawala every last subject of this day?

It’s Friday. And Friday is fun night! Dapat.

“You’re not coming home?” Dinig kong tanong ng kumag kay Theya.

“Why? You miss me already?”

“Somehow.”

Hinawakan ng kumag ang kamay ko nang akmang lalabas ako ng room.

“Samahan mo ko.” Baling niya sa’kin.

My forehead automatically creased with that demand of his. He turned his gaze to Theya and talked to her blandly as if he wasn't holding my hand.

Tungsten, ang chansing talaga!

“You should at least visit us, kahit man lang ang parents ko ang i-dahilan mo.”

Pilit akong kumawala sa hawak niya pero hinigpitan niya pa lalo ito.

“I’m not coming this time. May lakad ako.” I uttered.

He just raised his brow and then diverted his attention to the girl beside me.

Theya smirked at him. “No.”

“Then come home for me.” He said to Theya which made me gasped, a bit.

Hindi ko na nagawang pumiglas pa hindi lang dahil sa narinig ko. Kundi dahil na rin sa napagtanto ko kung ano ang magiging kahihinatnan ko kapag pipilitin ko pang makawala sa hawak niya.

Mapapagod lang ako’t magugutom.  

“You’re going with Shad.” She looked at my wrist holding by his cousin. “I don’t think so you need me anymore.”

I darted at Theya when she said those words. She should know how to pick words properly!

“Mas marami mas masaya. Come on!” Ngumiti siya ng nakakaloko at tumingin sa gawi ko.

“Right, anino?”

Umiling ako kasabay nang walang-pasubaling paghila niya sa amin palabas. Pinilit ko na lamang na makitungo ng maayos kesa sa mainis. Wala naman akong rason para mainis.

“We’re here!” Sigaw ng kumag sa kawalan.

Kararating lang namin sa bahay nila, and that took just an hour. I roamed my eyes around their place and noticed how  large it is than ours. And even nicer.

Their house looked so festive, unlike ours na kulay puti lang ang makikita sa loob at labas ng bahay. Well aside from the fixtures and furniture. Sa kanila kase, every wall are pasted with a big painting frames. Vintage and aesthetic features. Somehow, it resembles the painting in my room.

“Hey Shad, come in.”

I nodded at Theya and let her in first. I motioned my phone na siyang madali niyang nakuha kaya’t hinayaan niya muna ako sa labas. The jerk didn’t mind me na para bang hindi niya ako pinilit na isama dito sa bahay nila.

Dumbass. I murmured before I dialed Axi’s number.

"Where na you, babe? Here na me and us."

I smiled. “Susunod ako.” I looked at my wristwatch and sighed.

“Around 7:30, okay lang ba?”

Humakbang ako palayo sa pintuan ng bahay ng kumag para makahanap ng mas malinaw na koneksyon.

I frowned when I didn't get an answer from him. “Hey, Ax?”

"Bakit, asan ka ba?"

Napakagat ako sa ibabang parte ng labi ko nang mahimigan ang inis sa tanong niya.

“Fine. I’m on my way.”

I hung up and immediately went inside to bid my goodbye.

“Hey, lovers!”

I heard tita Tania yelped when I got inside. I thought she was referring to me and her son, but then I realized it would be disgusting and I’m glad it’s not me. Pero kung hindi ako, sino?

“Hi tita! You look feisty, as usual!” Theya greeted.

“I told you to refrain calling me with that. Anyways, I’m glad to see you again dear.”

They hugged as if they didn’t see each other for a very long time.

“Me too. I miss you! M-mom?”

They both chuckled happily, na siyang kumurba sa mapayapa kong kilay.

Is it maam or mom!?

“Mabuti naman at nadala mo ulit siya dito Neecho.”

The jerk kissed her mom's cheeks.

“Of course, ma. Hindi niya ako matitiis.”

Taka ko silang sinuri dahil sa mga kilos na pinapakita nila. Holy gold, I hope I am thinking wrong.

The jerk wrapped his arms on Theya’s waist that made my assumption possible.

I gasped. Helium, no way.

“Mahal niya ako, ma. He can’t say no to me.”

Theya laughed about it and broke the intimacy between them. I looked away from them.

Potassium, bakit pa kasi ako sumama dito!?

I gulped and calmed myself. Mabilisang tumibok ang puso ko sa mga nalaman. Hindi rin maiwasang mainis sa lalaki nang isama niya pa ako dito, e may relasyon naman pala sila ng pinsan niya!

Holy gold, how can they do that!? And Tita Tania even tolerated their actions!?

“You forgot that we’re not alone here.”

Napabuga ako nang hangin bago sinulyapan sila Theya na siyang nakatingin din pala sa pwesto ko. Naging dahilan yun upang mapansin ako ng mag-ina.

“Oh, hey Shaddowe!”

I cleared my throat and bowed down as a sign of respect.

“Cut the formalities hija, it’s okay! Hindi kita napansin, I'm sorry.”

I just smiled and then looked at her son. 

“Aali-”

“You must know already about them, don’t you?”

I curiously gazed at her mom when she asked.

“Po?” Napapikit ako nang muntik na akong mabulol. Tungsten!

“About them?”

She pointed Theya and the jerk while smiling. Umiling ako dahil hindi ko naman alam.

“Oh, really? You didn’t tell her?” She asked both of them with a shocking face.

“It’s okay, tita. I’m not interested with them naman po.” I quickly said as dismissal.

"Oh. I see."

Theya laughed with Tita Tania while the jerk remained silent while standing in front of me. 

“I won’t take long po, tita. I need to do something more important.”

She smiled and hugged me briefly.

“I guess you’re in a hurry?”

I nodded at Tita Tania. Theya offered me a tea but I declined. I'm in a hurry nga diba? Pasikat masyado. And I can’t handle the ambiance I felt inside. It feels like I am trap in a situation I'm not supposedly in.

“Ma, we’re going.”

I halted. Akmang kukunin ng lalaki ang kamay ko nang hawiin ko ito.

“No. I’m going alone.” I blankly stared back. “Axiell's waiting.”

"What? I don't care. Ako ang nagdala sayo rito kaya- hey, anino!"

I immediately run out of his grip, ignoring his voice entering my system. Nagkunwari akong may katawag na siyang nagpatigil sa kanya. I just waved my left hand to bid goodbye as I left the place. I cussed when I almost stumble from running. Napahawak tuloy ako sa dibdib kong nagkukumahog sa pagtibok. Kainis!

What's wrong with me!? And what the helium is with them!?