Such A Rebel

It's been four years since we lost everything. Every day I think of anything I could have done to save my father. This stupid culture my kind lives by, who really cares about pride and honor anymore? If only father could have put his pride and honor to the side, he would still be here. I refuse to live that way. Mother and father cared too much about their titles and honor, we sacrificed everything for our people, and it's still not enough. I was 13 when our pack was diminished. My people looked at me then, and they still look at me now for our next move. When everything took its turn for the worse, at what point could father have thought of me or mom for once? Why couldn't we have mattered more over everything else? He sacrificed himself to save us all. I've never been a coward. I always listened to my father, I exceeded his expectations, I fought with the best of his warriors, I completed my trials before I reached the shifting age (12 years old), and my ability to comprehend politics is stupendous. Still, I was not enough. What good is a mate bond if Mom was not enough either? Father, why did your pride and honor outweigh our well-being? Our broken hearts? The fall of Midnight Pack has taken our Alpha, Nigel Bellingham, my sweet loving father. My mother will never be the same. I can't say I still have a mother, her soul is gone. She's like a walking zombie, breaking down every so often. Surprisingly, Mom did not meet her death from a broken heart as most werewolves do after losing their mate, never lost control of her wolf, and as I come to think about it, I'm not sure if she still has a wolf anymore. The last time I saw Cecilia ( Mom Wolf) was the night we fled our pack four years ago. We ran for 12 hours straight until we reached Regal Moon Pack. It was Mom's idea to come to Regal Moon, her home pack. I'm forever grateful they accepted us and our remaining pack members. The last of Midnight Pack is beyond disappointed with me and my refusal to do anything. I refuse to rebuild and take my rightful place as their leader. I've lost everything and if I can't have my mother and father back, then screw it all. Screw this werewolf life, I would rather live as a regular human. Who cares about finding your soul mate? Mine would most likely be an Alpha who would put his pack above everything, including me. I want real love and that is not it. I'm sure of that. After all, I am an Alpha myself, so I'm sure the Moon Goddess will pair me with my equal and I would rather not have the responsibilities. Mother will be fine at Regal Moon. It's time I started living for myself now.