Hold my hand

chapter 14: black sheep in the family

I always feel like I don't belong.am always different in the entire family. Everyone in our family has always treated me different apart from my baby sister and grandpa.

Sometime I feel like even if I do what they want they will never love me like they love Luca.

He is mum and dad favorite child,he always gets what he want without much effort.

I always work hard to make them proud of me , all my grades are perfect and that's way I graduated with the senior before the time I was supposed to be graduating.

The principal said that I am over qualified and when my parents were asked they refused me from graduating.

They come up with a excuse that I am too young,and am not ready to take responsibilities when I join university.

I stayed the whole night crying ,I don't sleep the whole night ,I kept thinking why they didn't want me to graduate.

I wanted to be independent and do thing for myself,I have always take good care of myself.A part from my grandpa who always takes care of me no one cared what I do.

Even though I was living with , grandpa I didn't know why the principal had to call them and consult them about my graduation.

That week grandpa was out on a business trip and I didn't want to make him worried that why I didn't call him.

My grandpa called that night and he was worried based on the tone of his voice, he asked if I was okay and I lied that I was fine.

But he knows me well than any body else ,that when I decided to tell him what was bothering me.he didn't say a ward that make made me freaking worried and tensed.

He told me not to worry he will take care of thing.I went to bed without eating anything.and after toasting and rolling in bed I finally felt a sleep.

When I woke up in the morning I smelled something really good cooking,I want to the kitchen and I was really surprised to see my grandpa making breakfast.

After having my breakfast, grandpa drive me to school and we went straight to the principal office ,after a small take they come into an agreement that I should be graduating if I was qualified.

"knock ,knock" I heard the door knocking and I wasn't expecting someone.I was very annoyed and I dragged myself to the door still wearing my night short and a over size t-shirt.

" you are not dressed yet " my Ali said when she enter the house ,I tried blocking the light with my hand ,I made my eyes hate. she hugged me and I wrapped my hand around her waist.

"dressed"I was confused of what she was talking about there was no event or anywhere we were supposed to go together.

"we are having a family dinner, didn't mum called you?" she asked in shock and surprised at the same time.

"no she didn't " she never tell me anything unless she want to parade me to her friend ,her perfect son.

" You can't serious"

"I am f*****g serious" I said with a annoyed voice,I wasn't annoyed with her but with my mother.

"they did it again ,did they?" she started crying,I hugged her Patting her back.

"it's okay am already used to it by now" I said whipping her tears with my hands.

That's they specialist making me feel like the black sheep in the family,since I was a child that is what they usually do no wonder most of their friends don't know me.

By now the tera that I was trying very hard to prevent it started flowing like a river in the rainy day.

I felt weak and I couldn't even support myself,I felt down on the ground and Ali came running toward me ,she hugged me from behind and she started crying,she always does not when she doesn't know what to do.

"who do they think they are,they are nothing but a bunch of asshole,do they think they can keep treating you like trash and get away with it,I have had enough of they bullshit" she snapped what came as a surprise to me.

"Am already used to it by now" I said with a sad smile.

"am not going without you" Ali said leaning her head on my shoulder.

"you should go ,they wanted you to be there for some reason and again am having dinner with my friend" I lied since I don't have any plains of leaving the house today.

"am not going and that is final " she nearly screamed in my ears.

"Ali you know how dad always react when you disobey him ,and I don't want them thinking that I am the reason why you didn't go home" I tried to reason with her,the last time she disobeyed our parents I was the one who get blamed.

"just go please Ali ,and my friend will be soon here" I said smiling with puppy eyes.

"okay I will but today they will regarate why the didn't invite you again,or may be I should tell grandpa " she said standing up from the ground.

"don't get grandpa involved in this ,the last time he took me with him to Korea and he may do it again" I didn't want to lose my friend if a reallocate back to Korea.

" I won't but I will talk to mum and dad" she said as she picked up her pack bag from the couch.

I gave her a hug and walked her to the door."say hey to them and tell them I will be there next time" I faked a smile as I tried really hard not to cry.

When she left I went straight to the bathroom,I opened the shower and let the water pour on my body.

I sat down on the bathroom floor crying unstoppable,my heart was in pain I felt like I was going to have a heart attack.

I sat there as tears keep flowing as I wrapped my hands on the chest to try and stop that pain but the more I tried the more it pained.

I wish I didn't came back to Bangkok,I wish I had stayed with grampa.sometime I really doubt if there were really my parents ,they always make me feel like the black sheep in the family.