For the Love of Anyone

“Well hello monkey.” My daddy always calls me that. We always have so much fun together, watching movies and fishing. “How is my monkey girl doing today?” He coos at me looking at me with kind eyes. “Want to watch a movie?” “Yeyyyyyy, I’d love to daddy! What do you want to watch? I want to watch the Little Mermaid.” “That’s fine with me monkey girl, let me go set it up.” Daddy started walking over to the TV to set up the movie. I’m so excited. Daddy is a pack warrior, bhe’s very big and strong. “Mommy is almost home monkey girl, maybe she will watch it with us.” I’m happy she is coming home she is always so busy. I wish she had more time to play sometimes. Mommy is best friends with our Pack Luna Maggie. They have been friends for years and years, since college. Luna Maggie is so nice and kind, she is the bestest ever! As daddy and I sit down to start watching the movie mommy gets home and we’ll watch the movie together. That was the last happy moment of my life. It’s so sad to think about in retrospect that in the last happy moment between the 3 of us I’m only 5 years old. It’s horrible, and it makes me so angry. The week after that my father started to loose it. He always had enjoyed drinking in his off days from warrior duty and it just kept getting worse. Eventually it even became more important than us, and eventually more important than the pack. My mom... well my mom was always a bit of a shallow person, only around my dad and I would she show her true self. At the time I was a kid I didn’t understand that was not normal, that self doubt and blaming the mistakes of anything in your life on others wasn’t right. I think that between my dad and her, things had been bad for a while but they put on a good show for me until my dad just couldn’t handle the lies anymore. The self loathing just eating away and everything he was. As for my mom, well that just made her worse, and in the end I’m the only one left to blame. “Lily!” Mom shouts at the top of her lungs through the house. Dad had just left yet again and mom is sobbing on the stairs. I go to her and try to comfort her. After a year of my dad’s hard core binging on booze as finally taken its toll on her. Six months ago my dad lost his position as head warrior along with his status in the pack. Mom didn’t take that well and it just caused more fighting, and more drinking you know how the cycle goes. I approach my mom and rub circles on her back and she sobs next to me. It’s a bit hard since I’m still really little but it helps that she’s very small for a fully grown she wolf. She is about 4’10” and has very curly chestnut brown hair that falls just below her shoulders. Right now due to the sobbing its falling over her face like a curtain. She turns to me and glares at me. “What did you do!” She screams at me in tears now looking at me with a tear filled rage. “What did you ask him to do, you made him leave us and yet again it’s your fault he’s gone. I can’t believe you! You ungrateful little brat.” I look at her tears steaming down my face. I love her and I never like seeing her cry. Every time she cries I just want to comfort her and make the pain go away. All I want is for us to be a happy family again. “Mommy I didn’t mean to, I’m so sorry. He said he would play a game with me later. I didn’t mean to, mommy I’m so sorry I” “I don’t care what your pathetic brain thought. He is gone and it’s all your fault! Get away from me, I can’t even look at you right now.” I ran to my room and closed my door and laid on my bed staring at the ceiling wondering what I said. What was the trigger that made him leave. What can I do in the future so he will stay. I didn’t mean to anger anyone. I just sat there alone wondering when this will change, when will we be happy again. It has to get better right? As time went on I became my mom’s world, and dad became so distant he was like a ghost. He lived with us but never really spoke to us unless it was for us to get a beer, or curse at mom or me before leaving for the bar. Mom always told me I can’t talk to anyone but her, even Luna Maggie, because if they knew they would take me away from her. I didn’t want that so as a child I shut my mouth, again thinking this is normal. By the time I hit my preteens I was in charge of everything. Mom still had to keep up her “status” in the pack ‘cause goddess forbid someone thought she wasn’t the perfect mother. I was basically her slave. The only people I have to talk to other than her are Haley and Dominic Lockhart, my best friends. They are omegas for the pack, same as me. I didn’t really get my Dad’s warrior genes since I’m built more like my mom. Yet another thing to be shamed by my mother for. As she always loves to remind me, I’m not special, only to her. Haley came over and instantly was on me like white on rice. “What happened, Lily OMG!” Flys out of her mouth as she stares as me. This isn’t my first “injury” and won’t be the last thanks to mom. She is examining my cheek and leg with fervor. I have a black eye and a cut going down to my chin. My arm is bruised and so is my leg. I knew I should have covered up more, I just didn’t think anyone would come over today. “Goddess what happened to you” she asked again hand on her hips waiting for me to tell her. Haley and I have been best friends since forever she is like my sister, but even she doesn’t know what happens here. If she did she would tell Luna Maggie and that would make her mad at mom and get me taken away. So yet again I tell her another lie like I fell down the stairs. She believes me thinking I would never lie to her and I feel like s**t for it. The reality is my dad came home drunk, took a swing at mom and I tried to stop it. He got angry and threw me across the room. As for the black eye that was from mom when he passed out because how dare I get involved. She was fine and I made the situation worse. Apparently being beat over the head was something that wouldn’t hurt her. Whatever, I’m so sick of my life, sick of the abuse sick of the drama, sick of the lies. So I go to my room and my go to escape route: Harry Potter.