For the Love of Anyone

Chapter 12. The first date

James POV

So I have everything figured out. We get food at this cute little Chinese place and then swing by Black Magic Tattoo which is pretty close. They are really good there and Nikki is working tonight, she is who I always go to for my ink. I decided I want to get a blue stargazer lily flower on my chest over my heart. That way she will always be with me, it can’t be too big tho because it is still a flower. I’m also wondering, is it too soon? Will it freak her out that I already love her so much I’m willing to get a tattoo for her?

I knock on her door and she answers looking absolutely stunning. Her gorgeous red hair flowing down her back and her ocean blue eyes mesmerizing me. So much so that I didn’t even notice that she had already walked out and had closed the door behind her and is standing by my side. “So what brings you here Jamie?” She is walking perfection and Goddess I’m already acting whipped, hell I already am whipped. “Well I wanted to take you out for your birthday, on a date. Is that ok?” She stands there staring at me a little and just gives me a nod. “This is my first date so no funny business Alpha.” She gives me a smile “where to?” “Well I figured we could get to know each other better over dinner, so do you want to get Chinese? Then I have a surprise for later.” She looks so giddy at the thought of Chinese food. “That sounds awesome, Jamie!” We get in my blue Dodge Charger and head to the restaurant.

“So, what were your plans after high school?” She looks at me kinda puzzled. “Well, my mom decided that I wouldn’t be going to college so I’m starting full time at the pack house. I’m already almost done with training, which is why I’m there so often.” She looks a bit sad at that. “What do you mean you mom decided? Do you want to go to college?” Now she just looks utterly confused. My interest is peaked but, I’m not going to press it further right now I want her to enjoy being out with me tonight. I just hope that she will open up to me when she is ready.

Lily POV

When he asked about my future I was floored. He knew I was a pack house maid, so why would he ask. He is my mate so I want and need to be honest with him but how do I even do that. I’ve never told anyone the inner workings of my house or life before, not even Dom and Haley. This is so complicated. I saw the look on his face when I said about college, does he want me to go? I mean he probably does, who would want an uneducated, stupid Luna. F**k, now I’m panicking because I don’t think that is something I could do. Hell I’m barely making it through high school. “Jamie, its not that i just don’t think i could do it. My mom had wanted me to go before… heck she had my whole life planned out. Then she saw how dumb I am. I mean he** I’m barely making it through normal high school classes. I’m your mate so I’m being honest with you, I’m not smart and I’m not right to be the Luna of this pack. They deserve better than me. Please stay with Rachel. She is better for the pack, better for you. I already love you so much. I don’t want you to be stuck with someone as damaged as me.” I get up to leave and turn to him one last time. “I won’t reject you as that would weaken you, but I can’t be with you. I’ll still be living and working at the pack house so that will be close enough for the bond. I’m so sorry you had to be unlucky enough to have me as a mate.” As I run out of the restaurant I’m absolutely sobbing. I run to the woods and shift, making my way to my usual spot. He will be ok, he needs better than me. I’m not enough for him, I never would be. There is too much damage and brokenness. I still can’t believe this is happening. The Moon Goddess is not supposed to make mistakes, but this time she did. I really don’t think I could have made that date worse, I’m such an ass. He was trying so hard to make it perfect and I just can’t let that happen. I always have to find a way to f**k everything up… I’m so f*****g useless. “No, you’re not my child.” I look up and around trying to find the voice. Good, now I’m going crazy to boot, fantastic.