Beyond redemption

Chapter 18

Celine

William had settled nicely in the boarding school.

I decided since I was going to be working in a nightclub I wouldn't have time to help William with his studies so the boarding school was the best choice.

Its also better because I somehow found myself back in all my bad habits and most nights or mornings I returned home, drunk and high.

William didn't need to see me like this.

I promised him a better and different life, and I am not about to break that promise.

Mia and her brother gave me a small apartment and it just above the club so I don't have to travel up and down to work.

Today is my day off.

I slept in.

"Beep beep beep..."

I opened my eyes to see wjere the sound was coming from.

My alarm on my cellphone was going of.

"Urg..."

Well guess I better get up.

My apartment looks like its been hit by a hurricane.

I don't bother much with cleaning as I never get any guest.

I got up and stumbled through the clothes scattered all over the floor, making my way to the bathroom.

I turned the tap of the shower on and started undressing.

Standing under the hot water, I feel like a zombie.

The fact I was using again, makes things harder...

I can't focus or concentrate or think without my fix.

After the shower I headed to the room and got changed.

Now I need to eat something, I haven't eaten in 3 days.

I barely eat because I am mostly working or high so...

I took out the noodles in my cabinet and started preparing my so called meal.

5 minutes later I sat down at the kitchen table and started munching away at my food.

I am halfway through when my phone rang.

I got up and ran to the room.

"Hello...?"

Its Oliver.

Yeah my new boss.

"Mia said you have the day off..."

"Um.. Yeah, but I can work if you need me to..."

The lime guy es quite.

"Oliver... You there?"

He took a deep breath.

"Yeah... I... Um.. I was hoping you might want to have coffee with me... Thats if you want to..."

Oliver is a very big player...

He never hesitated to speak his mind but now he basically stuttered asking me out foe coffee...

"Yeah why not... I will meet you at the club... In lets say 15 minutes..."

I listen as he released a breath.

"Great... Thats perfect... See you soon.."

I disconnected the call.

I have been working for about 1 month now and Oliver and Mia are very kind.

Yes, they do have ties with the drug world but Oliver doesn't do drugs.

Mia on the other hand...

Bit they have both been very lind to me and William and well I have no choice but to trust them.

I decided to trust them the moment I accepted this job.

Some might say I am stupid or crazy but getting out of over city was a good decision and I am trying hard to make it work.

I opened the wardrobe and took out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

I got dressed, pulled my messy hair into a pony tail and put on some light lip gloss and eye liner.

Its just coffee with my boss.

I walk out the room heading foe the front door.

I look at my half eaten noodles.

It must be soggy by now.

Urg...

What a waste.

Walking out I put my cellphone in my Jean pocket and lock the door, putting the keys under the flower pot.

If I take them with I will definitely lose them so.

I head down the steps and walk in the back door of the club, making my way to the bar.

Eric is on shift today, he is also my supplier.

"Hey Eric... You got something for me?"

He gave me a smile and took out his wallet.

He took out the packet of white powder and placed it under the glass of water he gives me.

"Here... But I must warn you, tgis one is a bit stronger than the last one... So..."

Oliver doesn't know Eric is my supplier, and honestly I think he doesn't like it that I am using so I never ask or use in front of him.

I take the stach and head to the bathroom.

I entered the stall and locked the door behind me.

In my pocket I take out the lighter.

Behind the toilet is my spoon and my syringe.

I opened the packet carefully not to mess anything.

I placed tue white powder on the spoon and than light the lighter underneath to melt the powder to a liquid.

Once its completely dissolved I use the syringe to pull it up.

Using my hair band I tie it just above my elbow.

The veins start to pop up.

I carefully selected the biggest one than slowly inserted the needle and injected the liquid.

Once it's all in I untie the band and wait for tue drug to take effect.

Moments later the rush starts.

I feel dizzy and hot.

The rush is sometimes fast but this time feels different.

I feel light, free... And silent.

The world has gone completely quiet.

I closed my eyes to enjoy the feeling.

Its unexplainable.

After what felt like mere seconds I finally started feeling more relaxed but still high...

High enough to manage the rest of the day.

I put my things away and walk out to the zink.

I pulled my sleeves down a bit to hide the obvious injection mark.

I washed my face than head out.

At the bar I see Oliver waiting.

"Hey..."

He turned around and looked at me.

He looked at me differently.

"Hey... Arw you ready...?"

I smiled and nodded.

Hw got up and we walked out to his car.

I took the front seat.

He also got in and we drove off.

"so... Where are we going?"

Oliver turned to face me.

"It's a surprise..."

I don't like surprises.

"I... Oliver... You said coffee..."

"Yeah... But first I wanted to take you somewhere... Just trust me okay..."

I can't imagine where he was taking me but okay.

"I don't like surprises, but I will trust you, don't make me regret it okay..."

He smiled and we continued the rest of the way in silence.

I soon see the ocean.

I loved the ocean.

We parked right in front of the beach.

"Here we are..."

I looked at Oliver and I am sure he could see the excitement on my face.

"We are having coffee here... What do you think? beautiful isn't it?"

I nodd my head and jumped out of the car.

I didn't wait for Oliver as I rushed down the beach and into the ocean.

Being high in the ocean isn't safe but I really didn't care.

I always heard about the ocean and the beach but this was the first time coming here.

I knew the club was close to the beach but this...

This was amazing.

The water is cold, but refreshing.

Sand fills my shoes and enters my clothes.

I enjoy the rough textures rolling of mu skin when the water pulls back into the ocean.

I feel someone's hand on my waist.

"Slowly... You might drown or get pulled into the deep water..."

I look back at Oliver.

His hands are on my hips, his face dangerously close to mine, his hot breath touching my lips.

For a split second I completely forgot he was my boss.

I lean closer and brush my lips on his.

I was about to pull away when Oliver suddenly moved closer and captured my lips in between his.

He turns me around to face him not breaking the kiss.

He bites my lower lip and I opened my mouth.

His tongue makes it way inside my mouth and a simple kiss turns into a Full on make out.

Oliver's mouth tastes like mint and chocolate, a mixture of sweet and bitter...

His hands are still on my hips and his thumb is digging into it.

He holds me against him.

His body is pure muscle.

Hard and defined.

I feel his heart racing under myvpalm against his chest.

He breaks the kiss, still pressing his forehead against mine.

"I can't tell you how long I have wanted to taste your lips..."

Came a single sentence from Oliver, his words shaky as he spoke.

I come to my senses.

I pulled away from Oliver.

Putting ample space between us before speaking.

"I... I'm sorry... I got caught up in the moment..."

I said, not knowing what came over me.

I look at Oliver.

He seems surprised.

He runs his hand through his hair.

Than his hand rest on his neck before finally dropping beside his waist.

"I... Okay... I think I might have missed something..."

Oliver seems upset.

I don't really get what he's saying.

I look around and than back at Oliver.

"I'm not sure what you mean... What did you miss?"

I finally asked.

Oliver smiled and looked away.

"Nothing... Don't worry about it.. Lets go get that coffee.."

He said and turned to walk away.

I hate it when men do this things.

They say something and if you don't understand they feel hard to explain.

"Oliver... Tell me... I really don't want to have coffee knowing I missed something..."

He turned around and looked at me.

"It's nothing really.. I... Celine just forget about it... Lets go..."

I started feeling anger burning in my chest.

"Oliver... You can't expect me to know what you think... Or thought... Just tell me... I don't want any misunderstanding between us... Please..."

I say.

"He just kept walking.

" Than I am going home... Have coffee on your own."

I was now burning.

I walked up the beach and walked to the buss stop opposite the parking area.

" Celine wait... I... Celine... "

Oliver yelled behind me.

I ignored him, and with my luck the bus just stopped.

I rushed over and got on.

As the bus pulled away I watched as Oliver runs behind it trying to catch up.

He wasn't fast enough and soon he is gone.

I think I might be a little to high.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

Not again.

After Max and Marshall I promised to not get involved with any man ever again, yet the moment Oliver was to close my f****d up mind went blank.

I hate myself.