Beyond redemption

Chapter 7 getting out.

Celine

I returned from the field trip.

Things are beyond strange at home and unfortunately I haven't been able to contact Marshall either.

So tonight I was headed to the club.

I met max and he told me in a kind of riddle than Marshall just like all the other men in my life had left.

Yes.

I thought after we got together at the club that night we were going to be fine but once again life proved me wrong.

This made things harder.

I started drinking more and used stronger drugs to help numb whatever was going on in my head and heart.

Things got so bad that by then end of my gr 9 year I had missed almost all my exams and failed the finals.

I decided to drop out of school.

School had no value to someone like me.

I was a junky, nothing was worth living for and since I would have more time to myself I couldn't spend more time with my brother.

Actually come to think of it, I at least had him still left.

He had a learning disability and mostly he relied on me to help him.

I would spend nights outside and all my free time with him, even though I was mostly high I tried my best.

We were sitting in the living room watching cartoons when I saw our case workers car in the driveway through the window.

I handed the remote to my brother and walked to the door.

She walked in and sat in the kitchen with my grandparents.

"Look, I already told you we have no other choice... They have to be placed into a safe environment and the orphanage is the best place... If you don't comply we will remove them by force and you might never see them again..."

My blood boiled.

She was about to continue.

I stormed into the kitchen.

" Listening to your bullshit is not worth anything.. You have no right being here.. I think you should leave if you don't than I will throw you out... "

My grandfather got up.

" Celine... Lets talk about this please..."

I skoffed.

"I will talk about it in the newspapers if I must, I will tell them how you and the department of child service placed me in multiple homes were I was fiscally and mentally abused for years and you did nothing... I am 16 in a few days so I don't have to comply with anything anymore as for my brother... I will take full responsibility for him.. Just try me... "

My grandfather was viability upset.

" Celine this is your best choice, we can't look after you guys anymore, we are to old.. Please understand.. "

This didn't shock me because I was waiting for this day since I came here.

And finally today was the day.

I walked out into the hallway and i to my room.

I grabbed 2 bags and then emptied all my clothes in one bag.

Than walked to my brother's room and grabbed all his stuff and stuffed it in the other bag.

I than walked back into the living room and took my brothers hand.

"William.. We are leaving... Come.. I will give you a better life than this..."

Deep down I knew it was nearly impossible but I had to try.

William got up and followed me past our grandparents and the case worker.

Non of them tried to stop me, which was probably the best thing yet.

William didn't even look back as we walked out.

I walked down the driveway and up the street, the first taxi I saw I flagged down.

We jumped in and I gave him the direction to the club.

We stopped a few blocks away, after paying I held Williams hand and made my way down into the club before we entered I turned to look at William.

"William, I wante you to close your eyes and not open them until I tell you to, no matter what you hear don't open them okay.."

He was only 11 at that time and I refused to let him see what I saw daily.

He needs better than what I had.

I tugged him into my side and than walked carefully into the club.

The manager directed me to maxes office, previously Marshall's.

As we entered I let go of William and than closed all the blinds and instructed max to clear his table, that was full of coccaine.

After I was sure it was completely safe I walked to William.

"William, you can open your eyes now bud.."

He opened his eyes and saw max he got frightened and jumped behind me.

I turned around.

"William this is max he is nona's friend, don't be scared okay.."

William nodded, I took him to sit on the sofa and handed him my phone, letting him play his favorite game.

Since Marshall disappeared I became close with max, he has saved me more than once and I slowly started opening up to him.

I told him what was going on at home.

He got uo and made a phone call.

I begged him not to ever tell Marshall anything as I heard he was doing great in Spain and was actually engaged.

So him being happy was worth me being unhappy.

Yes I was broken and he deserved better.

Max cam back and handed me some key he took out of the desk drawer.

"Here.. The apartment is under your name so no rent or anything is needed to pay, just needs a few food supplies and daily necessity.. Give me an hour and I will drop you there okay..."

I smiled.

Than I realized he said the apartment was under my name?

Why?

Was it the same apartment Marshall should me that night?

I guess I will find out soon enough.

Nearly 3 hours passed and William had fallen asleep on my lap when finally max returned.

"You really love him don't you..."

Max said more than asking.

I smiled and nodded.

I don't know why but it felt like I had something precious to protect and it gave me something to hold onto.

It was like a burning rope yet it was worth burning for.

Max walked over and picked William up I grabbed the bags and than we left.

Just as I thought it was the samw apartment Marshall brought me to that night.

I looked at Max.

"Marshall bought it when he wanted to marry you, it was supposed to be your home.."

I felt my heart clench...

Why didn't he sell it after I refused him..? "

Max had a pained look.

" I guess he still had hope you would one day return to him... It's unfortunate he isn't here to see you finally coming back here... I wonder if maybe.."

I didn't let him finish.

" No Max... You can never tell him, he is safe when he is far from me.. I am toxic and Marshall deserves the best.. Don't forget you promised... "

I said and I felt tears well up in my eyes.

Max just sighed and than looked away.

I took out the keys and opened the door.

As we walked in memories of that night flashed in my mind.

Everything was different now.

All the pictures were gone.

Nothing to prove we were ever together...

Nothing to prove what happened here that night...

I walked in, max following close behind he walked down the hall and into the first bedroom.

He placed a sleeping William on the bed and than tugged him in before returning to me in the kitchen.

"I will see you tomorrow, I made arrangements for you to start working at the club and I also got a sitter for William, if you like he can start online school next year... But Celine I need a promise from you..."

I looked at Max.

"Okay... What's the promise?"

Max walked over to me and took my hand.

"You have to stop taking drugs, please.. Its will be hard at first, but Celine if you really want to give William a better future you have to fix yourself first, no more Overdose and no more parties... Promise me.."

I thought about his words.

He was right.

This was my only chance at giving William a better life.

" I can't promise but I definitely will try, as long as I have you... Max I think I might be okay... "

Max hugged me tightly.

Max was actually like a big brother to me now.

I don't know when it all started but I guess I have to try and depend on someone other than myself.