becoming the best version of myself growing up with a single parent getting scars growing up facing the most crucial battle

I sat down in my room thinking how it started wishing I could go back to change so many things i really appreciate where I am now though but it wasn't easy at all one wrong step at a time changes a fate I think I was brought up by a single parent my mom it was sweet at first before everything started crumbling when my mom got married to her ex- husband. I was young when they married I was eleven years old and his own daughter is ten years old, my mom thought it could be a perfect match not knowing it's the beginning of her doom. when they got married he promised to cater for me and his kid also , but it changed when they got married he's always blaming me for his daughter mistake claiming I don't want my mom to get closer to him nor giving birth. my mom believe him she knows am stubborn but I know deep down that he's putting on a mask I have heard him talking to one of his apprentice how he enjoyed some night with his girlfriends. though I was too young to understand that I shouldn't have told my mom about it but he makes up an excuse to cover it up i don't know what those words means not until I grew older,so many times I would see him in the bedroom with another woman in bed I was a kid not fully understanding it I would peep sometimes or just sit down where he left me i shouldn't have been there with him but he always told my mom he loves being with me and so on with all his lies so my mom could trust him . anytime he wants to engage in all those rubbing he would try to put us to sleep know it would make his secret more perfect when my mom came back I would try try explaining to my mom mummy one aunty came to visit daddy today they slept together and played inside the room too, he would say ohh it's my friend Junior sister that came for some assistance knowing am now financially bouyant so it would be bad not to help.all this lies repeated till i was old enough to tell my mother the real truth without getting scared. he would use some harsh words to threaten me telling me he would return me back to my father that doesn't ask for me nor wanting anything to do with me because he's know my mom's weakness he knows how to let my mom dance to his tunes. his daughter to introduce me to lesbianism telling me it's a normal thing for kids to do when no one was around, I was reluctant at first but I later gave in to it i don't know it was bad not until the day my mom caught me doing it with her that day was a total shock for her she couldn't believe her eyes because it was a total shock for her she asked me how it happened and I explained how it started . how she would randomly sleep on me telling me not to shout nor talk because she could lie or start crying claiming that I hurt her, I gave in to those words I have seen how she behaves if things don't go her way so I gave in ,she then extend to trying to put her hand in my pussy i was scared first because I enjoyed it I shrug it off and started looking forward to when my mom would leave for her shop every day sometimes we would meet in the school toilet to enjoy it but the day my mom caught me I regretted it because I was soo addicted to it my mom told him about it all he does was to point fingers at me claiming I was to be blamed that I pushed his daughter into it,but my mom stood in for me that day and it leads to their first fight over me. we were later punished severely but the deed has been done I was already addicted to it. I was addicted to it that I look forward to leaving for school everyday I love watching private movies too it enhanced my mood and libido till date mom doesn't know am still into lesbians I graduated after some years and was ready to move to my new hostel to continue my university education when I found out his daughter wasn't admitted to any school