Pleasure and Pain (Not your typical love affair)

Kabanata 9—Ring

"M-MARHIANNA." I pushed Juddah and covered my body of comforter nang matauhan. Awtomatikong naging sunod-sunod ang pagluha ko.

"H-how could you to this to me?!" My mother sobbed. Sinugod niya si Juddah at pinagtatampal sa dibdib. "How could you, Juddah? Why did you cheat on me!? At sa lahat pa ng babae, b-bakit... ang anak ko pa!?"

The room filled with our sobs. I tried to get up on the bed para daluhan si Marhianna pero masyadong masakit ang pagitan ng mga hita ko.

"Answer me Juddah! Dahil ba wala pang nangyayari sa 'tin kaya mo ginawa ang bagay na 'to!?" Marhianna shouted and slapped him on the face. She was fidgeting.

But the latter's just staring at her coldly. Hinahayaan nitong saktan siya ni Marhianna at hindi man lang sinuway. He's just looking at her directly like he was not guilty.

"I trusted you so much! Sobrang laki ng tiwalang binigay ko sa 'yo. Pero bakit nagawa mo 'to? Why did you c-cheat?" Unti-unti siyang napaupo sa kama saka yumuko. Humagulhol nang humagulhol si Marhianna.

"M-Marhianna." I tried to hug her from the back pero agad niyang itinabig ang kamay ko. "M-mom."

"Don't call me that, Maldrid! Don't call me that!" She stood up and glared at me. Punong-puno ng luha ang kanyang mata. "Alam mo palang nanay mo ako, bakit ginawa mo 'to? Maldrid... iningatan at inalagaan kita. I protected you. I love you so much. At wala akong anak na..." she closed her eyes. "Wala akong anak na malandi. But look at what you did... you just gave your virginity to your Mother's suitor. Hindi ka ba nandidiri?"

Tumungo ako. Sunod-sunod ang luha ko at nanlalabo na ang mga mata ko. Nasasaktan ako dahil nasasaktan ko siya. Sa lahat ng tao sa mundo, siya lang ang ayaw ko na masaktan. Pero anong ginawa ko?

"I will leave this house. But make sure when I comeback, hindi ko na kayo maabutan dito." She stood up and leave the room.

Silence filled us until Juddah picked up his boxers and jeans.

"Juddah--"

His brown eyes coldy stared at me. "I'm done with you, Maldrid. Thank you for the experience. I enjoyed playing with you." And just like what Marhianna did, he left my room.

I want to kill myself right now. Gusto kong saktan ang sarili ko. I am so stupid loosing Juddah's game.

"Damn you!" My gripped on the comforter tightened.

I stared at myself on the mirror. I just can't believe na nakuha niya ako. I was so stupid.

Being alone for three days now made me realize how devil Juddah is. He played with me. I know that in the first place. Pero tanga lang talaga ako at binigay ko ang sarili sa kanya at sinira ko ang relasyon namin ng Nanay ko. I haven't heard anything from him since that night Marhianna caught us.

"Earth to Maddi! Hey!" Gia snapped on me.

"What!?" I asked, irritated.

She leered and sipped on her drink.

We are here at the resto, having lunch at katatapos pa lang namin mag-enroll. And now, she and Adrianna were talking about something na hindi ko naman maintindihan.

"Xenon is asking for your number. We're gonna go clubbing tonight. Do you want me to give it to him?"

I sighed and nodded. "Bahala ka." I am not really in the mood to flirt with someone now. May mga problema akong iniisip. It's been three days and just like to Juddah, I haven't heard anything from Marhianna.

I just received an email from her saying that she deposited a money in my account for my tuition. And after that, wala na.

"What happened, girl? Para ka talagang may problema. C'mon, we just came back from vacation. Nabitin ka ba?"

Instead of answering Gia, I just excused myself and went to the restroom. But I didn't expect that Adrianna would follow me.

"Spill it," she seriously said. She leaned on the sink and scanned my body like she was checking on something.

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin. "I-I don't know what you are talking about."

"What the f*ck, Maddi! I know you. So spill it."

"Okay!" I heaved a sighed. Alam ko namang hindi niya ako titigilan hangga't hindi ko sinasabi. "Tinraydor ko si Marhianna. I f*cked her suitor. I f*cked Juddah! Are you happy now--"

She slapped me. "How can I be happy kung nagkakaganyan ka? Tell mo more."

Dahil sa ginawa niya, tuluyan na akong humagulhol. I need this. I need her slap para matauhan ako. I started telling her kung saan at paano ba nagmula kung bakit dumating ako sa puntong may nangyari sa 'min ni Juddah.

"You finished?" She get the wipes on her bag and hand it to me. "Ayusin mo ang sarili mo. Don't be look like a loser."

I slowly nodded. At nang makita niyang tapos na ako, tumikhim siya.

"Can I give my opinion now?"

I nodded again.

"Your stupid. You know that he's Marhianna's suitor pero sumige ka pa rin at nakipaglaro sa 'kanya. Maddi, you're not a child anymore. Alam mo na ang tama sa mali. At una pa lang, alam mong maling landiin mo siya pabalik. But you still did it. He accused you for seducing him. Kaya pinanindigan mo. But look at you now. Hindi ka na virgin, sira pa kayo ni Marhianna."

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin. I'm guilty. Just because of my pride, nagawa ko 'to. And I am slowly regretting it. If only I could turn back time.

"He's just a guy. Lalake lang 'yan. Madami d'yan. Pero ang Nanay mo. Si Marhianna. Iisa lang."

Wala na akong naisagot. All I did was to hug her. Adrianna has a point. She is right. Walang manlalandi, kung hindi magpapalandi.

"Sa pagkakakilala ko, hindi ka desperado. There's a lot of men in the University who's willing to flirt with you. But I already expected it that Juddah Ferranci will gona have a big part on your life. Pero ang hindi ko inaasahan ay ang papatulan mo siya pabalik. I know you. You just look like a sl*t but you are really not."

That night, kahit walang gana, I still go clubbing with them. I act in front of my two friends lalo na kay Gia na parang wala akong problema.

Kahit ngayon man lang makalimot ako pansamantala.

"Do you want to go with me somewhere private, Maddi?" Xenon, my new boy toy asked naughtily.

But instead of agreeing with him, tinabig ko ang kamay niyang nasa hita ko. "I'm not in the mood so please stop pestering me."

His mouth parted pero nang makabawi, he stood up and glared at me. "I really expect something from you, Maddi. They said, your are fun. But look at now, you are so f*cking boring."

I sipped on my glass before glaring at him. "Or maybe it depends kung sino ang kasama ko. I mean, look at you Xenon. Wala man lang thrill sa 'yo," I said then walked out.

I went to the rest room to retouch. Mag-isa na naman ako at hindi ko alam kung nasaan na sina Gia.

When I am already contented with my looks, nakiayon ako sa dancefloor at sumayaw. Pero hindi pa man nagtatagal nang maramdam ko ang pagyakap sa 'kin ng kung sino.

And I gasped when I saw who it was.

"You miss me, Maldrid?" he smirked.

"F*ck you!" Kumawala ako at umalis sa dance floor but I wasn't expecting that he would follow me to the parking.

"What do you really f*cking want, Juddah!?"

He laughed before he scanned his eyes on my body. "You. I really want to continue our f*cking. If Marhianna didn't interrupt that night, maybe I came--"

"F*ck you!"

I slapped him hard and was about to turn my back. Pero naging maagap siya at niyakap ako ng mahigpit.

"Sure. Tonight, we will f*ck each other until you beg for me to stop."

I closed my eyes. Nandidiri ako sa kanya. Amoy alak din ang hininga niya at halatang lasing na siya.

"L-let go of me." I tried to budge pero kinaladkad niya ako patungo sa kanyang sasakyan at tinulak sa backseat.

Naging maagap siya papunta sa driver seat at pinasibad ang sasakyan sa isang kilalang condo unit.

Kinaladkad niya ako papuntang elevator hanggang sa tumigil iyun sa pinakadulong floor.

Pumasok kami sa kanyang penthouse at agad niya akong tinulak sa kama.

"Just like the first time, I don't think, I can be gentle to you. F*ck your body, Mildred, it didn't give me proper sleep for how many nights now. And now, I will finally have a taste on you again." He laughed like a demon.

Kinalabutan ako lalo na nang magsimula siyang maghubad hanggang sa wala nang natirang saplot sa kanya. His manhood were already hard.

"N-no. Please, Juddah. No," I pleaded pero masyado siyang bingi at pinagparte ang mga hita ko.

He caressed my thigh up to my private part. He played with it. With my undy still on. Hanggang sa ginilid niya iyun.

"Juddah no!" I cried when he inserted his finger on me. Sobrang sakit ng ginawa niya. "P-please no." Malabo na ang paningin ko dahil sa luha nang maramdaman ko ang pag-iisa naming dalawa.

Napaigik ako sa sobrang sakit nang magsimula siyang gumalaw. He thrust in me so hard. He was so rough and all I can feel was purely pain. He felt pleasure despite of the pain he was giving me.

"S-stop," huling sabi ko hanggang sa umalis siya sa pagitan ko.

He jerk off and came it on my tummy. He was panting so hard while feeling his release.

"I-I hate you!" I get up on the bed and slapped him but he just smirked bago pabagsak na nahiga sa kama.

He closed his eyes until he fell asleep. Samantalang ako ay nanghihinang umalis ng lugar na 'yun.

I don't know kung paano akong nakauwi sa bahay but I went directly on the shower. Nandidiri ako sa sarili ko.

Umiyak lang ako nang umiyak hanggang sa mag-umaga. Hubot hubad na nakatulala lang ako nang maramdaman ang pagpasok ng kung sino sa kwarto ko.

"Maldrid?" Marhianna's cold voice made me look at the door.

Masyado mang nanghihinay agad ko siyang dinaluhan at niyakap.

"W-what happened to you?" Kahit galit, ramdam ko pa rin ang pag-aalala sa boses niya.

"M-mom, J-Juddah raped me. He... he raped me, Marhianna. I already said no but he still f*ck me." Para akong bata na nagsusumbong dahil inaway ng kalaro. I hugged her tight. Ni ayaw kong kumalas sa kanya. "He raped me," paulit-ulit na sabi ko.

"Oh my God!" Napasinghap siya hanggang sa sunod-sunod ang naging pagtulo ng luha niya. Katulad ko ay nanginginig din siya.

"M-mom."

"P-please, mag... magbihis ka, Maddi. We'll going to the police station and report him. Ipapakulong natin siya, ha? Don't cry now. I am here, Maddi," pagpapalakas loob niya pero wala namang patid ang pagtulo ng luha sa kanyang pisngi.

I shook my head and hugged her again. "I'm... I'm sorry for what I've done to you, Marhianna. B-believe me, hindi ko iyun ginusto. I'm sorry."

Lalo akong napahagulhol nang yakapin niya ako.

"Don't think of it right now. Let's just go to the Police station first, okay, Maddi?"

Tulala pa rin ako habang nasa prisinto at sinasabi ang nangyari sa 'kin. Mainit na ang ulo ni Marhianna at hindi kami inintindi ng kapulisan.

"I already told you. My daughter here was raped! Wala ba kayong gagawing aksyon?"

Natigil ang ibang Police sa pag-uusap at napalingon sa 'min. Hanggang sa may isang lumapit sa 'min.

"Can I have the details, Miss Dela Peña?" he asked.

Nililista niya naman ang mga sinasabi ko pero nang sabihin ko ang pangalan ni Juddah as the suspect, natigilan sila.

"Uh, can we talk to Mister Ferranci, first?"

And I already know that something's off. At mas lalo lamang iyun napatunayan nang samahan kami ng dalawang Police sa kompanya ni Juddah.

Agad kaming dumiretso sa opisina nito matapos itawag ng nasa reception desk sa sekretarya ni Juddah na nandito kami at may kasamang Police.

Nauna ang mga ito sa loob ng opisina hanggang sa daanan lamang kami nito ng walang anu-ano matapos ang ilang minuto.

Napamura si Marhianna. Maging ako ay hindi na kumportable.

The secretary let us in on his office. And the moment we stepped inside, agad na sinugod ni Marhianna si Juddah at sinampal.

And latter just only glared at her.

"H-hayop ka Juddah! Hayop ka!" My mother cried pero wala siyang magawa lalo na nang ngumisi lamang ang huli. "Y-you will going to pay for this. M-makukulong ka! Hayop ka!"

He laughed. "Can you do that? You see Marhianna--" Umikot siya sa mesa at hinarap kaming mag-ina.

I glared at him but he just shook his head. Juddah's wearing a suit and he looks powerful in it.

"Most of people in the Government... I have the power to control them. And the police you took here..." Umangat ang sulok ng labi niya.

Kahit hindi niya ipagpatuloy ang sasabihin, alam ko na ang ibig sabihin nun. Maging ang kapulisan ay hawak niya sa leeg.

"So putting me in jail was absurd. Because it is so f*cking impossible to happen."

Kumuyom ang kamao ko. I really wanted to erase the annoying smirk on his lips right now. Gusto ko siyang saktan ng paulit-ulit makaganti man lang sa kababuyang ginawa niya sa 'kin.

"Hayop ka!" Marhianna shouted.

He shook his head. "No, I am not, Honey," he sarcastically said. "I am a demon. You should know that by now."

I closed my eyes. Coming here is just a waist of time. I heaved a sigh and held Marhianna's hand.

"Let's go, Marhianna." Walang katuturan ang pagpunta namin dito. Sadya lang talagang mailap ang hustisya sa mahihirap.

Pumihit kami papaalis pero hindi pa man kami tuluyang nakakaalis nang muli na namang magsalita ang demonyo,

"Since you really look violated on what we did last night, I have a proposal for you, Baby."

Marhianna's gripped on my hand tightened. She shook her head as if she was telling me that I should say no to it.

Juddah touches me on my shoulder. Tinabig ko 'yun.

"'Wag mo akong hahawakan. Demonyo ka!"

He smirked. "You got it, Baby. But as I was saying, I have a proposal for you. I'm not that bad not to take responsibility for--" He scanned my body. "For raping you," he even emphasized it.

He walks towards me and tucked my hair behind my ear but for the second time tinabig ko iyun.

Pero sadyang mabilis ang kamay ni Juddah at naunahan niya ako.

"Marry me," he said as he put a ring on my finger.