Over Me

Chapter 5

"Remember her?" Clyde suddenly spoke.

Well, right now, missing her is the only negative feeling that is coming out of my heart. My brain seems to be a burden because of her. I tried to take one step, away. But I found myself coming back to her, my one and only her. Thinking about her makes my face down. Feels so weak, tears coming out. It can't be easy to forget the girl I used to love beside me through my entire life. Though, my twin sister, I pray she's in good condition right now. Sometimes, for somehow, people who are leaving us behind making us bothered by worrying about them, how are they doing, have they already eaten or whatever most.

Losing people we love was included in life struggles. When you're getting older, things, people, and sometimes feelings as well- are slowly taken from you. You'll notice that when you grow old and most of the time, there's nothing you can do but to accept it and move on although it was pretty hard for your weak heart. Sometimes you'll just stare out into the night, trying to hide the pain. Going to the place you love, feeling so good and never cost a thing. And the pain you feel is a different kind of pain.

"I wish she was home" I replied with a soft voice when happened suddenly a tear dropped into my eyes.

She's miles longer to take from. But I wish I was closer to getting to her. I know I've not always been the best sister or even a friend for her, but her love remains true and I know why. She would always seem to give it another try.

"To the place, she belongs" Clyde replied.

"Now those places and her face was remaining though"

I just might get it all. I wish I was home, to the place where I belong. And where her love has always been close to me. And won't run from. I think she just got me all wrong, I won't regret her choice for me. But those places and her face remain at my own. Feels like I'm home.

I'd rather stay close to her whenever, although there are some circumstances to take, I'll stay by her side than have a good time with somebody else. Although for some reason she'll let me down, I'll only think I'm dumb. Right now what I'm asking is... why do I bleed and feel alone?

I'm not blind to see people are right beside me, cheering me up and loving me rather than that person who's not here to do it all, who's I'm badly searching for. But there's a missing piece of me that I can't resist finding. It is worth searching for. When you know that a person belongs to you. Especially when that person is half of you.

I wish I could only close my eyes and dry my tears. I'll be safe here. although the world seemed don't understand, I'll be safe here.

I made up my mind. I want to... I want to see her just one more time, if I'll be safe here, I have to say goodbye. that missing piece, will stay missing until the end. But I know when I accepted that she's gone I'll realize she'll always be by my side. I already decided what to do and I'll turn up my pride for it.

I roved to my mom and say, " Mom can I see Rija at least one last time Tim, I have some important things to tell her, I've been with her ever since we went there. She guided me, she.... she accepted me, she loved me, sh~she filled up all these missing pieces inside me, I was merely searching for since then. She, she made up her role for me, not just as a sister but as my best friend too. I see how she loves you and dad, I see how she takes care of me although she..." I suddenly stopped as I fell down the ground. "she's a ghost". They all remained speechless. I started to sob quietly, bursting out the pain, accepting she's taken off. And all those memories will stay as a memory until the end. I can't believe she was the one, who'll build me up and tore me down. I wish you only packed your bags and walk away. I wish I hatred you, I wish I didn't get any closer to you. It hurts more than you know. Until I screamed, scream in pain. Why did you dare leave me if only it wasn't because of me, you're still f*cking alive. You d*mbass can't leave like this.

"People come and go," I whispered.

"Chloe... I don't think I could understand what you feel, but I know what are those things running through your mind. And that makes you bleed." it was Kyle's voice, he came back but I can't even lookup.

I can't even speak again, I'm trembling.

"It isn't just about you losing her, it has a purpose, do you think it would be better seeing her as a ghost?" Clyde followed.

"Honey we knew, we knew you'll see her, you'll hear her. It is because you're a part of her, and so as she does. It is my fault" my dad said and I– I suddenly lightened up with disappointment or something, I don't know but it's not right to blame their selves for something they didn't do any wrong.

All my sudden emotion emerges into something that breaks me down into pieces. one more stupid word and I'll turn up.

But... I can't move, I can't speak, I can't even stop crying, my heart is pounding all those sudden happiness fades away whenever I remember her It feels empty, as soon as I imagine her face smiling at me, I don't know if I would be happy or cry more nevertheless she was right here by my side I... I missed her so bad.

"We can't make you stop crying, but we can reduce that pain," Akisha said.

"Cry as much as that pain slowly fades away" Kyle annexed. they are all just looking down, feeling this pain from me.

Your first word... 'go inside the house' how could you make me feel scared in that way?! I don't know if you were worried or you want to scare me. How could it be your first word? But we even don't know where this story going, 'cause this moment's never going back. I got your voice inside my mind, I feel like it's been so long since we've been talking, now I miss you more. Whenever I think about you. If only......