The Dream Catcher

The Dream Catcher (10)

"Yesha..." I wiped my tears and stared at the stars to stop myself from crying. I saw in my peripheral vision how he shifted his gaze unto me.

"Paige, you don't need to force it. Just because I told you what happened to mine doesn't mean your obligated to open up to me too, it doesn't work that way. I told you, when you're ready." I appreciate him thinking about my feelings and privacy but I want to do this.

"Nate.. I'm ready." napakurap siya ng ilang beses and then gave me an encouraging smile as he held my hand and caressed it.

"I'll be here." a simple phrase but it gave me so much courage to do it. I smiled back at him kahit patuloy pa rin sa pagtulo ang mga luha ko.

"It was summer, Yesha, my bestfriend spent it with me on our rest house. We went there with my mom and her mom. That time umalis muna sila kasi nakalimutan nilang mag grocery but then my mom strictly told us na huwag pumunta sa dagat kasi at that time sobrang lakas ng alon, kahit sa seashore kasi parang hihilahin ka nito. We were both 19 that time and thinking of our age I thought hell we can handle ourselves, we're grown ups." I stopped 'cause I felt like I was choking because of crying. Nathan caressed my back and told me it's fine. So I continued.

"Kaya niyaya ko siya na maglakad-lakad sa may dagat 'cause I was so bored but then she refused dahil sa sinabi ng mom ko. I kept begging at her na lumabas kami and promised her na di kami lalapit sa may dagat. She was hesitating at first pero dahil sa kulit ko she gave in. We went outside and as promised nag lakad-lakad lang kami but as time goes by nagka asaran na kami and we were pushing each other and laughing and chasing. Hindi namin namalayan na ang lapit na namin sa dagat. And that time... that time.. " I can't continue.

Hindi ko na kaya, ang hirap at ang sakit maalala ng lahat. Napa hagulgol na ako as Nate hugged me. He just let me cry and didn't say anything. Pero kailangan kong ipagpatuloy, kailangan kong harapin ito ulit.

"That time sobrang lakas ng alon and she got tripped and before we knew it dinala na siya ng alon. She asked for help but I couldn't move, she kept calling my name but I was in shock and couldn't process everything. Wala akong nagawa kung hindi panoorin siyang kainin ng alon at malunod. Natauhan lang ako nang may mga tao ng sinusubukang tulungan siya. Sinubukan ko siyang puntahan but they were stopping me. Iyak ako ng iyak kasi wala akong nagawa. Noong nakuha na ang katawan niya she was already lifeless. Kasalanan ko Nate ba't siya namatay. Kung nakinig lang ako sa sa mom ko and if only I listened to her, buhay pa sana siya, kasama ko sana siya ngayon."

Sobrang sakit, parang pinipiga ang puso ko everytime I think about it.

"It wasn't your fault, you didn't know that would happen and you never want that to happen." Ilang beses ko ring sinabi sa sarili ko 'yan pero wala, alam kong kasalanan ko. Minsan naiisip ko na sana... sana ako nalang ang namatay.

Thinking about that everything went black. Pitched black like in the nightmare I had last night. Nate was still hugging me but he stopped caressing my hair. I broke off the hug at dahan-dahan niyang hinarap.

"Nate..." noong naiharap ko na siya, mabilis ko siyang tinulak at napatayo. His face.. His face.. It was the shadow's. Anong nangyayari? Anong ginagawa ko dito? Nathan! Help me! I screamed and screamed. Bigla itong tumayo at nagpalit anyo and this time sa katauhan ni Yesha. f**k!

"Gusto mo bang ikaw nalang ang namatay Paige? Wag kang mag alala, pwede mo akong samahan ng sa gayo'y magkakasama na tayo ulit."

No! No! Hindi ikaw si Yesha! She would never say that to me. Make it stop! Make everything f*****g stop!!

And as if on cue I went back to reality and saw Nathan's concerned and panicked face.

"Thank God you're back Paige!" napahawak siya sa puso niya and took a deep breath.

"Anong nangyari sa'kin?" biglang sumakit ang ulo ko, I don't know if it's because of crying or something else.

"It's as if you were in a trance, you're physically awake but your mind isn't. You have to go home. Sa kwarto mo protektado ka ng dreamcatcher. Let's go!"

Dali-dali niya akong hinila papunta sa sasakyan niya. Before driving he exhaled sharply. He was clearing his mind, I can see that.

"Paige, resist the urge to fall asleep as much as you can and don't think about other stuffs, I have a feeling you just thought of dying earlier kaya mabilis ka niyang napuntahan." I gulped, he was right. I really did.

Pinaandar niya na ang sasakyan at ako naman pinipigilang makatulog and instead of thinking about what happened earlier, itinuon ko ang pansin sa isang libro na na-proof read ko kanina. It was about a couple, inisip ko nalang ang storya nito dahil kilig na kilig ako that time. It didn't take that long for us to arrive. Agad-agad kaming pumunta sa unit ko at dumiretso sa kwarto.

I felt secured ng makita ang dreamcatcher. I'm protected here.

"Paige..." narinig kong tawag ni Nathan. Nakayuko lang siya, I hummed to get his attention.

"Don't ever think about dying again." he said in a serious tone. I smiled at him, hindi ko rin sinadyang isipin 'yon. Again, I wanted to change.

"I wont... I promise." nakita ko siyang ngumiti ng kaunti at inayos ang salamin nito.

"Give me your phone." naguguluhan man ay binigay ko pa rin. I saw him doing something to it but I don't know what. Biglang nag ring ang phone niya saka pinatay agad. Binigay niya ulit ito sa'kin saka itinaas ang phone niya.

"Now we have each other's numbers." naka ngiti niyang sabi. Napatawa nalang ako rito. He's cute. What. Jeez the f**k am I thinking.

"I have to go, call me if something goes wrong or if gusto mo lang ng kausap or ka hang out. I'm always free every 8 in the evening." he suggested which made me smile again.

"Thank you Nate for listening and for helping me. I want to change, I want to be happy, I hope you can help me." naka yuko kong tugon sa kaniya.

"I will, as long as you'd help yourself too. Kasi kung may tao mang makakatulong sa'yo 'yon ay ang sarili mo lang but I will be here guiding you in every step of the way. I will save you Paige."

Nathan left after a while and it felt good having someone you can turn to. I'm thankful for him dahil kahit hindi talaga kami magkakilala he's still willing to help me, maybe because of what happened to his mother but still nag e-effort pa rin siyang ma-iligtas ako. Liz has always been there for me but it's time for her to be happy. May asawa na siya and sooner or later magkaka anak na, I don't wanna bother her with this anymore. I'm gonna tell her maybe not now but soon.