Line we shouldn't cross

Diary Entry Today... everything shattered . "It's forbidden-from the beginning !" he yelled . His voice still rings in my ears-sharp, fiery, final . His eyes burned with fury. I've never seen him like that before . But me ? I was cold. Ice cold . Like water trying to tame fire . He was rage. I was silence . We were different-always have been . Still, I tried to belong to him . Tried to mold myself into someone who fit . Because I was in love with him . Madly. Blindly . Drowning in thoughts of him . I asked him with every ounce of control I had, "Then why did you begin it? You were the mature one. Why did you start this ?" He looked at me like I'd betrayed him, like I'd flipped the story . His jaw clenched . His hands were trembling, the veins stark and angry . His eyes-red . With anger, yes . But also... regret. Maybe even love . Though he hid that part like it was a crime . He tried to justify it . "It was foolishness... fun in the beginning. I made it clear before it went too far ." But it had gone far . I told him , "It wasn't the beginning when it happened . We were already deep in it. Too deep to pretend otherwise ." And then ... He straightened his shoulders . Declared it was over . "I have the power here. I'm ending it. The boundaries will be reestablished ." He clapped his hands, like closing a deal. Like we were a meeting agenda . My heart broke a little more . I asked him , "What about the moments we shared? The ones with no boundaries? What about all of that ? You call it forbidden, but wasn't it real? Isn't it real ? Be brave, Christopher. Take a stand for us. Don't be a coward ." I knew I was pushing him, and it only made it worse . "Cowardice?! It's WRONG! WRONG! WRONG !" He stomped . Slammed his desk . Threw his files everywhere like they were made of our memories . And then... I just walked away . Didn't turn back . Didn't answer when he called . Every step out of his office felt heavier than the last . My chest was tight . My eyes blurred . Tears didn't fall right away, but I could feel the flood building . They came as I walked through the corridor-his shouts echoing behind me . My classmates stared . They must've known. They must've heard . I didn't care . I just wanted to vanish . Disappear . Erase every moment I ever shared with him . Got in my car . No messages. No calls . Not even a "goodbye ." I drove out of campus . The memories came like waves . Soft ones. Sharp ones. Crippling ones . Why, God ? Why can't we be one ? Why does love have to be forbidden ? Why is he so distant ? Why is everything so wrong ? When I finally reached home, I was empty . But then I saw a letter on the table . Ambrosiana Library. Milan . They selected me-for the authors' team . A new door. A new place . Maybe a new version of me . One that doesn't love someone who can't love back freely . One that lets go . Leaving him behind suddenly feels like the only thing I can do . Maybe it's time . Maybe Milan is my new beginning ..... . . . . .