Cosmic Chaos!

Dear Nick!

Nick always looked like a very mysterious guy. And when I say he looked mysterious, I am talking about the fact that he preferred not to talk much about anything and as much as I knew him recently, to be honest, I didn't know much about his past or his character. What I already knew about him, was the fact that he was a very nice guy, handsome, tall and he was ready to help anyone when they needed it. But that is all I knew about him. Nothing else. Neither what he has been through, nor what he was usually thinking about.

The date was going very well. I didn't have any complexity at all while being with him, and to be honest, I needed this date to express some of the thoughts on my head. Joshua and Jessica had in fact helped me a lot to get through it and to express myself at times and I am so glad about it and will always be grateful to them. But this date was more intimate. Intimacy creates the opportunity to be freer emotionally and let the words come out from you more easily. And this date had the type of vibe and emotion that made me feel more expressive than ever. I felt so comfortable talking while Nick was the one who was always asking and staying fully concentrated on what I was saying. And I think that helped me a lot to express more of myself because of the fact that I knew he was always paying attention to me.

I have never been a good listener, to be honest. And when I had the chance, I was the one who was usually talking, due to the fact that I have not socialized much in recent years. But my curiosity for Nick and who he was, made me turn into a great listener. Nick had so much to say and I would have never thought about what he had been through. What I heard from Nick that day, changed my whole perspective on some of the things that I had always taken for granted.

- " So you wanted to know my past and who I am. Let me start off with my family. You already know my father, the professor. He has always been a great support to me, just as your father has been to you. For me, my father is the greatest man in the entire universe and history. And not just because he is my father, I mean, who wouldn’t put his father as the greatest of all time, but no, it’s because of what we have been through. At the age of six, I lost my mother. She passed away in a terrible accident, in which we all three were part of it. Somehow, I made it through with some scratches, my father had a leg broken, while my mother had major head trauma, and later on, she collapsed while in the hospital, and we lost her. As much as I can recall from that accident, it was very rainy, and I was just a little boy in the backseat playing with my toys and everything was going perfectly fine. I remember some flashy moments to be honest. Not the whole event. But I also can recall the moment we crashed. And I remember a loud, banging noise, and I could see the car rolling... And rolling... And rolling. And at some point, I saw both my parents unconscious and blood spilled all over the backseat..." said Nick.

- "Nick, sorry to interrupt you, if you are feeling uncomfortable or if this bothers you, you can stop telling this story, I don't want to make you feel bad or recall some memories you do not want to..."

- "It is okay Martha. At this point of life, I don't feel bad about sharing my story, especially with you. It was hard for me during middle school, during those parent-teacher meetings or when they asked me what happened to my mother, but after many years, I have reached a stability and I have accepted the fact of what happened. I mean it was meant to happen. I wish it never happened though. I wish I had spent more time with her by my side and there are some small things that I can remember about her, such as her face and her voice. But I was a little boy, so I can't remember too many things. Anyway, the ambulance and police arrived there and some of our family members as well. I remember they took us to the hospital and didn't stay long there. They all said I was fine and I was lucky to be that fine from a terrible accident like that. They didn't want to tell that much to me at that time though. They told me that my parents were both fine so I would not have to worry too much or cry. But years later, as my father told me, they took him to the operating room, as he had a broken leg and some trauma in the chest, as a part of the car had gone into his chest. But after the operation, they took him to the Intensive Care Unit as he had begun recovering from the accident. On the other hand, my mother had some major trauma on her head and the doctors had taken her to the Critical Intensive Care Unit because she had been irresponsive even after her surgery. While my father kept recovering and I was taken care by my other family relatives, only a few knew about my mother's critical condition. And at some point, she had a brain stroke in which her brain was almost completely damaged and in no time at all, after a few hours they lost her. But they didn't tell me. They didn't want to. I was always asking for my mother but they said she was fine. They also didn't tell my father for a day until they made sure that he would be able to take the bad news and not be put himself at risk of critical condition as well, since he was still recovering. As my father always tells me, when he got the news, he was devastated, he was so broken physically and mentally, but he had to keep going. He knew that I was waiting outside of that door, so he had to be strong for me. When I got the news, they told me that my mother had become an angel in the sky, as God wanted her to be up there and to protect us from above. But after a few years, I started becoming more mature and realizing everything. Eventually I googled about the accident and had a conversation about it with my father. It was the first and last conversation about the accident, since my father said that I should know about it. But we have never talked about it much anymore since, as I think it hurts my father to this day. He blames himself way too much, he always says he should have been more careful while driving but I guess he also has gone through it too and realized it was not his fault. And the first few months, after we lost our mother, my father was mostly sad but I had my cousins around me, and they didn't let me become bored or sad. My father preferred staying alone most of the time, and he didn't want anyone by his side, he just took most of the photo albums and closed himself in the studio. It hurt him so much, but he managed to become a better and stronger person. And since then, he has done both of the duties, both as the father, and has replaced perfectly the duties of a mother as well. He didn't want me to miss anything about having a mother as he tried to always be there for me, when I needed him. He took care of me, he came to school meetings, he cooked, cleaned, and made sure that I was always looking good so no one would ever try to bully me or make me feel bad. You know how hard schools have become and how they bully kids for the things they don't have in their lives. I sometimes experienced it too, but I never told my father. Usually it was just the most popular kids in school trying to act as if they were tough around silent kids. There are some bad types of uneducated kids in school that should be taken into care for their mental health and educational level. However, I am always thankful for my father for being there in my good and bad times. Without his support, I would have never been this smart or well-taught on how to treat the people around me..."

- "I don't know what to say. I am already in tears. But I am so glad to have had the chance to get to know you and the professor. I could say, since the first moment I met you, you understood my situation and were ready to help me anytime. I got to say, I have some great people by me. I feel sad for your loss in life, but I am glad that you made it through and who you are today. I guess I have never experienced such events in life, I don't know how it feels, but I know it must feel terrible. And I know you are a strong man, you and your father. You both keep amazing me. I have no words..."

- "Thank you Martha. So yeah, that is my family and I am so glad that to this day I have my father by my side and I will always be thankful for it. It was a really sad story huh, I hope I didn't make you sad at all, but I think it is better for you to know about it. Now what else do you want to know about me?" replied Nick as he was trying to cheer me up with a smile.

- "I don't know what to ask, I am in total shock to be honest. Like I can't think about any questions at all. You have left me speechless..."

- "Let me give you a hug first, then we can continue." Nick stood up and gave me a heart-warming hug.

- "Let us raise a toast first, for a better future ahead of us and for all the things that have made us both stronger," said Nick.

After the toast, Nick invited me to have a dance together while some romantic music was playing in the background. And I could say, a dance under the moon and the stars, with such a great guy, never felt any better. Nothing feels better. These are the moments in life we live for. Romance, emotions, living in the present. I was a mixture of two realities, between the past and the future, which ended up being what I didn’t realize to be the present. But at that moment, I knew that that was the present for me, it was meant for me to be there, dancing under the moon, and I had never felt that alive. This was my present, I could feel that I was living in that moment, and it didn't matter where I came from, or how my lives were mixed, in that moment I was meant to live it and feel it, and never have I felt more alive than that.

We spent some great time together while having dinner, but the surprises weren't meant to end there. Nick had prepared a special place where we could sit together and have the best view. We sat down and gazed at the view. Then Nick started explaining the constellations to me.

- "You see that? That is the Sagittarius. Right there, see? And that other one on the other side is the Scorpio. If you look carefully, it looks almost like a Scorpio with a tail. You are a Gemini right? There is the Gemini, looks like two people holding hands with each other. The people of the Gemini sign are mostly liars, right? But how could you be a Gemini, since they are usually very talkative..."

- "So you are calling me a liar, huh? What sign are you? Tell me, huh?" I replied pretending to act as if I was angry.

- "Well I am a Leo..."

- "Ew, you are so egoistic, bruh who is this person I’m dating right now, an egoistic person..." I said while I was trying to get Nick's attention.

- "Come on, why do you think we are egoistic, oh, I see, you are a Gemini so you are lying right now to make yourself look better. That is so funny..."

- "I am going to punch you, I swear..." I replied while acting as I was pushing him away.

- "No violence today. Maybe another time you can punch me. As the expression goes: Violence is never the answer... It is the solution..." said Nick, while laughing so hard.

We kept on enjoying the view and at some point I asked:

- "How did you meet Luis? How did you become friends?"

- "Luis, ah, he is a great guy, I don't know where to start. I met Luis back when I was in elementary school. Luis came from Mexico, and his family was very poor at the time. He came to my school, and he was a very silent guy. But most of the people in our class took advantage of him, or said things and called him thing like a Mexican criminal and stuff. But that dude was way too smart. He is even smarter than me. And most of the teachers loved him. So it became a big competition between us who was going to be the smartest in our class. If I did good, Luis did better. And on the other hand, it was a rough competition. But we used that competition we had with each other to make ourselves better. At first we seemed like rivals. Then we started learning together. And what I didn’t understand, Luis did, and the other way around. We completed each other’s weaknesses and as we always say, we made sure there was no other competition around besides us. He has a great family too. He has five sisters and he is the oldest out of all of them. His parents are great people too. They had to work so hard to survive here in the US. You must know how hard it is for immigrants to adapt to a new country, especially Mexicans here in the US. I guess there is still that old idea that these people cause trouble. Luis was nowhere near that type of person. He was born a genius. And he reached the highest levels with hard work and determination. He is so passionate about what he does. He used to stay at my home most of the time when there was no room in his house and my father loved him too. He became part of my family. So we have been together most of the time. He is the brother I never had. He is also a badass. He usually was the flirty boy with the girls. I guess that Latino charm helped him to be very communicative with girls. But he didn't have bad intentions with any of them. He can be a very nice guy when he wants to be. We helped him purchase the radio station, since he was the perfect fit for a radio guy. And he has always helped out when we needed it. We are very thankful that we had a chance to meet someone like him. It was a couple of years after I lost my mother. So our house looked full again with him in it. But he has been the person who always looked for new options while I was the one who most of the time stayed silent and waited. He has helped me a lot to improve myself on that. I had to talk to him first about inviting you on the date. He has been saying for a while that I should invite you for a date. He was like “Invite her, are you an i***t or what?” He was pushing me to ask you and I am actually really glad that he did do that though. I am having a great time here."

- "I am curious to know, how a handsome guy like you has no girlfriend? I have known you for months and I have never heard you mention any girl at once. Now I know that you are a little bit introverted but how is it that none of them have approached you?"

- "Oh, didn't I tell you? I have a girlfriend from the future, didn't you know that?"

- "Come on now, you’ve really met someone from the future besides me?" I said while I was trying to hide my happiness.

- "Just joking, but I have never been the type of boy of asking girls out on dates though. They were the ones actually trying to grab my attention, especially in high school when I was on the basketball team. I became popular and girls, mostly the cheerleaders, approached me. I have dated a couple of girls, but to be honest I wasn't actually emotionally involved with them. So at some point, everything ended because our personalities couldn't fit each other at the time. I did always like one girl though, but she passed away three years ago, and she was more of a best friend to me and I had a great connection with her."

- "Another tragic story? Wow, you could write a book with all the stories you have. I am actually in shock right now. But if you don't mind me asking, who was she and what happened?"

- "She was my childhood friend. Our fathers were friends together so we got to know each other since we were little kids and we always used to play together. We have always been in the same school too. Luis has also met her and we were the unbreakable trio. Since we were kids, we would always say we would marry each other in the future. We always used to do things together and I reckon we had so much fun. At the point when I was ready to ask her on a date, some other guy was faster and smarter than me, and they stayed in a relationship together for a couple of years. So there was no need to ruin our friendship as things were going perfectly for her. I knew the guy, he was on my basketball team. So I guess I missed my chance, and as Luis said, I had the signals in front of my eyes but I was an i***t. I always laugh though. It didn't ruin our friendship, and we started hanging out as four people. And the guy she was dating was also a genuine guy, so I guess I didn't have to worry that she was going to be sad. After we finished high school, the bad news arrived. She was diagnosed with melanoma. This is actually a very rare condition in younger ages but I guess she was one in that small percentage of those at risk. She had never talked about the bumps on her skin, or some dark rashes that appeared. She hadn't been feeling good, she had pain where those bumps were but she hadn't told anyone about it. She was in a very advanced stage because it had been left untreated for years. I still remember her sadness, but all three of us, as well as her boyfriend, were there to support her and give her hope. She had a couple of years of painful treatment. What made us devastated is the fact that her skin got worse, her hair started falling out and she wasn't feeling good about herself. She was a beautiful and strong girl, but she wasn't used to seeing herself hairless. She had long and beautiful hair. It was hard and painful to see her fight. But she had great courage. She always used to smile in the hospital even though she was in severe pain. She remained the positive Samantha that we all knew. By the way, her name was Samantha. We tried our best though, we took her places, as she felt bad while going out due to the fact of the way people looked at her. So we made sure that she would visit great places and have fun with us. In her last months, she got pretty sick. She was in terrible pain and we couldn't do much about it, besides just being there for her. She passed away while we were there and I will never forget her last moments. She told us that she was always thankful for us, and that she would always love us. I still smile when she told me that I should marry someone else, as she hadn't forgot the promise we had made to each other when we were kids. She was being positive even in her last moments with us. And I told her she would always be the first wife I would ever have. And she smiled. That was my last conversation with her. After we lost her, I guess it felt as if we lost a little part of ourselves. We were used to hanging out with each other, all the memories and places we had visited together. But we had to remain positive as her last wish was us to be always happy, positive, and stay together. It hurts me to this day to think of the loss of her. I was all grown up and I had already lost someone important in my life. And she was important to me too. But I guess it was meant for her to be that 1% of people with skin cancer at that age. Who would know that we would lose her in high school? No one. We had never thought of death. But I guess that opened our eyes and made our friendship much more valuable. We had to remain strong and positive. And as you can see this ring on my hand, it’s a gift from her. And I never remove it from my hand as she will always be with me anywhere I go. She was my best friend and I lost her too. But I felt bad for her boyfriend too. He lost it all. It was a period of time when he was completely lost and I felt bad for him. He loved her a lot and I could see that. But we managed to stay close to him at that time as he needed us to get through it all. We keep talking to each other to this day too. His name is Charles. He is in Europe right now, France. He works there as a doctor. And we have kept contact with each other. But he rarely comes back here, as the memories of Samantha come back and haunt him. It has been some rough years for him, more than it has been for us.

- "I am in absolute shock. You have been through this much and you still remain this calm? I would have lost half my brain if those things had happened to me..."

- "Well, we needed to remain strong. I always think that worse things are happening to other people so I should appreciate what I have right now. There are going to be many more losses in life but I was unfortunate to have some of them when I was young. I guess that made me more mature for the future, to be very selective and careful in every step that I make. Those people live in my memories all the time and they will always be in my heart."

- "You are an amazing man. I guess I am the lucky one on this date that I have the chance to get to know you...”

- "I think we are both lucky, all because of the time-travelling event. If you had never time-travelled, we would not be here right now, am I right? So I guess you ending up here wasn't that bad after all. I would also love to travel through time just for five seconds, just to see those people once again, but I am appreciative that the time-travelling that I have always desired brought you here with me today. I guess some wishes come true, but in a way that we don't expect or know. They always come true if we wish for them from the bottom of our hearts, but sometimes we can never realize how or when... So, whoever brought Martha here, THANK YOU," he said as he stood up and started shouting.

This guy. This guy was insane and great at the same time. Insane for the fact that he had been through a lot and he could still stay on his feet. I had never been through such things in my life, but I couldn't be more thankful that I got to meet someone, who was positive and funny all the time, even after life had pushed him to the edge of losing it all and going crazy. I had always complained about little things, I used to worry about nonsense and stupidity from the rich people around me, but now I just realized, I had always been lucky throughout my life. I had been very lucky not to lose the important pieces of my life.

If life brings you down, you get back up on your feet. Life always challenges us in many aspects and my challenge is to find where I belong in this universe and which reality I belong to. Until that moment, I had always hoped to go back as soon as possible, but after today, I think that was the right place in the universe that I had to be. If I had remained in the future, well, my life would have been messier. But I guess, time-travel was trying to give me a specific message. I guess I was meant to be here for a reason. Or maybe because I belonged here. Or who knows what is next, but as long as we are living in the moment, I guess the future will always take us where we need to be.