The Meeting
How can emptiness feel so heavy?
Valeria Green:
I looked at myself in the mirror one last time. I didn't want to look extra, but I didn't want to look easy either. I remember studying at this university two years ago. Things were different back then. I had friends. I had a loving family. I was happy back then. But now, things have changed. I have changed. I am no longer keen on meeting my high-school teachers, I am no longer happy to be at university. I no longer desire to make friends or seek any kind of relationship.
I had lost the very last essence of my life to the abuse I suffered two years ago. I had lost everything to the misery of living what people call life.
I looked presentable enough. An oversized t-shirt over a full-sleeved top to prevent my body from the cold weather outside, and a pair of old jeans that barely gave me comfort in the chilly weather outside. But I was poor. I shook my head and brushed my fingers through my short hair, they reached down my neck, barely touching it. I remember having my hair long. I loved long hair, until he decided to drag me with my hair. It was too painful for me to keep them long.
I smiled as I remembered the day I cut my hair. I cried like I had lost another member of my family. But it was the only thing that saved me from his lustful eyes. But the pain and humiliation was too dire for me to keep my hair open.
But I am stronger now. More dead from inside. But stronger to face the world. I realized what a blessing it is to live alone. I realized what a blessing it is to spend a day without getting abused. It was a bare minimum, yet so hard to achieve.
My college was thirty minutes away from my house. Walking. As much as I hated walking, because it made me tired, I had started enjoying the time I spent with myself. I was late. But for once, I didn't care. It was Chemistry. I was studying Chemistry honors. And Miss Dave didn't care about the tardiness. And she really liked me. Two years back. The only woman who knew something was wrong with me. The only woman who saved me from the wrath of the man I used to live with. I loved her.
When I reached my destination, the corridor was empty. Everyone went to their respective classes. Except me. When I knocked on the door of my Chemistry class, room number 406, an unknown man opened the door. And I froze when my eyes met his.
He was not Miss Dave.
This man was in his mid or maybe late twenties, staring at me with his oceanic eyes. His face was blank, his eyes had no emotions. His arms were crossed over his hard, muscular chest, staring down at me as if I were some criminal. I was. But that's not even the point.
It was hard to keep my eyes off him. Off a man who was dressed in a white shirt and dark pants. It was hard to keep my eyes off a man who stood tall in front of me, looking like he had just walked out of his bathroom, smelling heavenly. All my life, I have encountered men who never looked like the gentleman he was looking at that day. So beautiful, yet so oblivious. He looked like a butterfly, unknown of his own beauty. Or very good at pretending to be oblivious.
"Don't you think you are a little too late to be attending classes now?" His deep, heavy, stern voice made me blink. I curled my lips, feeling the ring on my lower lips touch my tongue. The cool metal reminded me of my surroundings. He was a teacher. Or maybe a headboy.
"I... I'm sorry, I think I walked in the wrong class." I said, fidgeting the rings in my fingers, and his eyes moved down to my actions, shaking his head as he leaned against the doorframe, his stoic expression turning serious, stern but nothing that could give me a hint of what was running in his mind.
"Doesn't matter. You are late, is what matters. And you are in the very right classroom. I believe you are Miss Valeria Green." He said, making my throat dry as his oceanic eyes stared down into my brown ones.
This was the most I had ever talked to someone in the past two years. I have never stared into anybody's eyes since I left my college two years back. But for some reason, it wasn't hard for me to stare into his eyes. They were beautiful. They reminded me of the ocean. They reminded me of how deep oceans can be.
"Are you?" He asked me again when I didn't answer him, and I gulped harshly, nodding my head.
"I am. I thought Miss Dave taught Chemistry. I had no....."
"So you purposely decided to come late because you thought Miss Dave still teaches Chemistry, Miss Green?" He asked me. And I couldn't have blatantly said yes to his face, so I kept my mouth shut instead. And that might have angered him even more.
"I am waiting for an answer." He gritted out and I tugged on the sleeves of my top, underneath my t-shirt.
"It would be a lie if I said no, Sir. She didn't mind tardiness." I said, looking at him, unapologetic. One thing that happened to me in the past two years was that I either don't speak, or when I do, I don't stop.
"And I wonder what made the management fire her. Unfortunate for you, Miss Green, but your Miss Dave no longer teaches in this school. I am the new Chemistry teacher that replaced her two years back. And I certainly mind tardiness. And believing how you know Miss Dave, I think you were aware about the classroom too. Tell me, Miss Green, did you know the way to my classroom?" He asked me, his daunting gaze making me tremble.
I bit my lips as I nodded my head.
"Words, Miss Green. I don't hear nods." He said lowly, making me curl my fingers.
"Nobody can hear nods, Sir. But I believe everyone with good eyesight can see and understand nods." I said, making him clench his jaw in anger. Was I being too rude or frank?
"I think we can continue this conversation later in my cabin. You, Miss Green, are rewarded with your first detention on your very first day. Get inside and take your seat at the fourth desk in the third row. Make sure you don't interrupt my class. If you have any questions, just raise your hand and I'll come to you. Are we clear?" He asked me, looking at me intently, and I smiled at him.
Who even gives detention in college anymore?
"I have a job right after the lectures, Mister....."
"Demetrius. Mr. Demetrius. And I don't care. Punishments are given to be served and not neglected. Take your seat now, Miss Green, you have already taken quite a few minutes of my lecture." He said, making me scoff, as I walked past him, ignoring the curious glances of my classmates. I have seen many of them. They were my juniors after all.
I sat down beside a boy whom I remembered playing volleyball. The silent boy.
"Hey, aren't you Valeria Green? The girl who suspiciously left the college in the mid-term?" He asked me, looking at me with his wide eyes and I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped my lips as I shook my head. Suspiciously.
"That would be me. I am thrilled people know me." I said, removing my notebook, and he smiled gently at me.
"You had been the talk of the entire school for more than a month after your disappearance. Many students thought you died. It's good to see you alive." He said, giving me a warm look, and I stiffened at his words. But I don't feel good to be alive.
"Assumptions can be harsh and false. Which chapter is Mr. Demetrius teaching now?" I asked my deskmate and he moved his notebook towards mine.
"Organic compounds and polymers. Today he is going to take a test." He said, making me nod my head as I stifled a yawn, skimming through the pages. Trying to remember bits of what I have learned. I have never liked Chemistry.
"Miss Green, can you pick up your books and come to my desk?" I heard Mr. Demetrius called me and I looked up at him, nodding my head as I grabbed my notebook and walked towards him. His eyes were looking at me with his predatory gaze. It looked like he was trying to read every movement of my body. To hunt me down.
"Is this the only book you have brought for Chemistry, Miss Green? Where is your textbook?" He asked me, and I didn't know how to tell him that I didn't have the money to buy my books? I stayed quiet, making him sigh.
"I don't like judging people without knowing them better, Miss Green. But you are giving me a very bad impression of yourself. You are here without any books. You were talking to your desk mate when you were already in trouble because of arriving late. And now look at you, breaking all the rules." He said, making me close my eyes. He was giving me a headache.
"He started the conversation, it would have sounded rude if I wouldn't have answered him, Mr. Demetrius." He ignored my explanation, removing a book from his drawer as he placed it on his desk.
"I had a test scheduled for polymers and organic compounds today. I can't postpone it, but I believe you won't be able to give the test today, considering how you just took admission. Go through the pages, practice the exercises. And if you mind any difficulty, ask me. The test will run for forty minutes. I believe you can, at least, read four pages until then. And sit down on the floor until then." He said, making me raise an eyebrow at him.
"On floor?"
"You were talking." He said, making me smile at him, nodding my head as I sat down, leaning against the wall. I have lived on the streets. He thinks he can humiliate me by asking me to sit on the floor? He doesn't know that the kind of love, floors and streets have given me, nobody can.
My eyes skimmed through the pages. I have studied this chapter before. I used to study back then. I closed the book and handed it to him after a couple of minutes of revising the topics, and he looked up at me with his eyebrows pulled together.
"Do you have a doubt?" He asked me, and I shook my head.
"Can I also attempt the test, Mr. Demetrius?" I asked him, and he blinked at me. It was like I was speaking something strange.
"Miss Green, you have just got admission here. And the test is not at all easy. And once the test gets marked, the grade can't be altered. There won't be any re-tests. I'd suggest taking a couple of days and extra tutoring after the school hours before attempting the test." He said, making me curl my lips. I was not smiling from within. But the plaster smile was enough to keep my secret safe. The secret that I was dead from inside.
"Like I said before, I have work just after school hours, Mr. Demetrius. And I don't have a problem with attempting the test now. Can you hand it over to me now?" I asked him, and with one last look he handed it to me.
