Broken inside
1203 Words
Ryker
Stumbling back out on the familiar cobbled streets, I felt no peace, no calm, I was locked in a prison of my own mind, everything was perfect this morning, I had everything, but I had let my feelings of abandonment cloud my judgement, yes that’s the only reason I wanted her to pack, so she’d reassure me that she wouldn’t leave, I was still that little boy deep inside who was lost and alone.
My stupidity had put her in danger.
“It’s not your fault, stop blaming yourself” Skye softly spoke, I had completely forgot that she was even there, not so alone after all.
“It is my fault”
“How could you have known this would happen?”
“I should have just stayed away from her”
“He would have still taken her, you know that”
I shook my head, no actually, I didn’t know that, if I’d have stayed away from her, she might have been safe, but I couldn’t and my selfish acts had led me to this, the darkness in my head was swallowing me whole, I was drowning in a sea of my own thoughts and once again I was falling.
“Snap out of it, how can you help anyone when you’re stood here feeling sorry for yourself”
“Harsh Skye”
“The truth often is, now are you going to stand here in pity feeling sorry for yourself or are you going to go get your girl because I’m tired, I’ve had enough and quite frankly this is your s**t now clean it up!”
Could always count on Skye to just come out and say it, as much as I hated to admit it, she was right, I wasn’t helping anyone by feeling sorry for myself least of all Kala, I could wallow in self pity when I knew she was safe.
I simply nodded at her as we both clambered into the car, driving down the dark streets, the traffic was near nonexistent, it was eerily quiet with only the small pitter patter of rain drops that had started to fall, I used to love driving at night, just you and the road, it helped me gain clarity, but not today.
“You know, I didn’t think you were the type to lose your sanity over a girl” Skye blurted out.
“I didn’t either” I mumbled, not taking my eyes from the road.
“So uncomfortable silences it is then”
“f**k sake Skye, what? What do you want from me?”
“What do I want from you?”
“Yes, you heard me”
“Oh, I don’t know brother, I want you to fight for what you say you love”
“What does it look like I’m doing” I gritted.
“Oh, I don’t know, kind of looks like you’re giving up” she said while examining her nails.
“You’re starting to piss me off”
“Good”
“Unbelievable” I shook my head at her.
“You’re welcome” she winked.
I groaned inwardly, it was no use, she would just carry on the nonsense till I agreed she was right, of course I would never admit to that, she wasn’t getting the satisfaction, but I did appreciate her been here during my moment of turmoil, she always did have my back and whatever greeted me at the club I knew Skye would stand by my side no matter what.
She had sat there gloating with a huge Cheshire grin on her face the whole ride over until I pulled up outside the club and her face instantly changed and there it was, the worry that had been missing this whole time, the uncertainty of what we would find when we got in there.
“Ready?” She asked.
“Nope, not even close”
“Shall we go anyway” she smiled.
She didn’t need to ask me twice, as we entered The Scarlet it was ironic that it had all started here and now it would end here, what cruel joke was the universe playing, I don’t know what I expected when I walked in there, but I didn’t expect the deathly silence that greeted us.
We went from room to room, searching for her, but we found nothing.
Defeated I went to my office where Skye had disappeared to.
“Now what!” I screamed.
“Oh, ye of little faith”
“What?”
“He left you a note” she stated pointing at my desk.
“You’re joking”
“Nope”
I strode towards my desk to read the ominous note, who leaves a note when they kidnap someone, it was highly strange and unusual, but I was thanking my stars for small miracles. Skye snatched it before I could get it.
“Not in the mood Skye, give me it”
“Now before I do, don’t be, you”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You know, fly into a rage”
“Give me it now”
“Promise me first”
“I aren’t promising you s**t” I screamed at her.
I snatched it out of her nimble hands and smoothed the creases out, staring down at it in disbelief, this couldn’t be right, why would she be there, all the energy and adrenaline I had previously just washed away with the words on the paper that I repeated in my head repeatedly.
I’m sorry.
She’s yours.
She’s at the hospital.
K
Why the f**k would she be at the hospital, what had he done to her? Oh, please god be alive. I don’t know if I could take it if she wasn’t okay, I was too late, I wasted too much time on Lily and now I was too late, my beautiful angel was hurt, and I didn’t save her from her fate.
“Ryker?”
“I don’t feel like talking”
“I understand that, but don’t think the worst”
“The worst? How could you possibly know what I was thinking”?
“Because my head is just as f****d up as yours, you don’t know anything until you get there”
“I know she’s hurt, and I was too late”
“Ryker don’t do this, not now”
“Your journey is not over yet little brother, let’s get you to the hospital, I’m with you all the way”
She encircled me and took me in her arms as she had often before, stroking my back in the motherly way only Skye knew how to do, I had sunk into her embrace, soothing my erratic thoughts.
“Thank you” I whispered.
“Anytime caveman”
Then just like that our dynamic was back, Skye wasn’t really one for emotions, suppose I wasn’t either but kala’s disappearance had thrown me, had left me sunk in a sea of depression, I would relax again once she was safely back in my arms, and I was never going to let go of her again.
Not ever.
She was mine.
- Writer
