Drummer

15

I missed him. I was not afraid to admit it, I missed him. It hurts like hell. It's already Christmas break and Dan mhasn't come back. All of his stuff is still in our dorm.

Why, Dan? Why be like this? Why be so mysterious? Why just run off?

My mind was deep in thought while I picked up my things. Making me not expect the figure standing in the doorway. I turned and saw brown eyes. I breathed in and out, a tear falling from my right eye. He was worn out, and he looked like he's been sleeping in the street.

"Dan?" I said, almost a whisper while his eyes met mine abruptly, making me notice his puffy and red eye.

"Hello." Dan said, sad and scared.

I didn't say anything else, for everything in my mind could not be spoken. I ran towards him, pulled him inside, shut the door, and hugged him by his neck tightly. He didn't hesitate. He hugged me back tightly, sobbing in my neck.

"I'm so s-sorry, Ph-Phil." Dan sobbed making me remember him sobbing on the corner in his bed in the middle of the night. "I'm sorry!"

"I forgive you..." I whispered and he looked at me.

"I don't deserve your forgiveness, Lester. I hurt you... emotionally and physically..." Dan said, letting go of me.

"You were confused..." I started as he sat on his bed. "You were mad, and whatever it is I did I deserved it." I said but Dan looked at me and cupped a hand over my mouth.

"That's the thing! You didn't deserve it. I was mad at myself so I took out my anger at you! I deserved to die for what I did." Dan started yelling, clenching his fists.

I breathed out slowly and put a hand on top of his clenched fist, trying to calm him down. With my other hand I put my hand under his chin so he'd look at me. When he did, I could see all the pain of him reflected in his eyes. The pain ran through his veins and I wanted to... to... kiss him.

But he beat me to it.

I felt his lips slowly on mine. They were so soft and gentle, making my whole body shiver. This felt so weird yet I liked it. It felt natural, it felt surreal, it felt... beautiful. His hands were cold as I felt them on my cheeks as he kissed me. Mine were on his chest, savoring his taste and feeling his heartbeat.

When we pulled back a minute later, we stared at each other. He was crying again. But smiling at the same time, making my heart melt.

"I'm sorry..." Dan said again and all I could do is just kiss him again.

"Are you gonna go with your parents, or not?" I asked Dan, finishing packing my stuff.

"My parents don't want me home..." Dan said cooly but the hurt in his voice was noticeable. "... They kicked me out so I stay with Chris."

"Oh..." I said, not knowing what else to say. "Well, if you want, you can come and stay with me." I suggested but swallowed a lump since he'll probably think that's a horrible idea.

"Really? But, wouldn't your parents, like, mind?" Dan asked, shyly.

"My mum is too polite to deny anything, my dad goes along with everything, and my brother isn't coming home for Christmas so we have an extra room." I explained quite happily and Dan smiled.

"I would love to spend Christmas with you, Phil." Dan said and stood up from his bed. "So what's been going on? Did the guys get a new drummer?" He asked cooly as if he didn't care if he was replaced or not.

"They held auditions but no one was good enough. You can talk to Chris to see if you could reunite with them..." I suggested and he started packing.

"Phil, I left for almost two months. They probably missed gigs because of me and are probably pissed at m-"

Before he could finish, Chris opened the door accompanied by Pj and Joe. When Chris saw Dan, he ran up to him and hugged him making them fall on Dan's bed.

"I missed you!" Chris yelled and I could hear Dan laughing.

"Thank you." Dan said. "Can't... breathe." 

Chris got up and Dan stood up immediately. 

"Joe is terrible company, Danny!" Chris complained resulting in a slap upside the head by Joe.

"Are you good, man?" Joe asked, seemingly worried.

"I'm fine now..." Dan said looking at me, making me blush. "... I have to get packing." Dan said.

"Staying with me huh?" Chris said and Dan smiled at him.

"Actually... I'm spending Christmas with Phil."