Drummer

16

Dan has been really attached. I mean we haven't... kissed... since the last time and that was like two weeks ago. I mean I want to kiss him more, I really do, but he hasn't even talked about where he's been since he ran and it was just so awkward. He cuddles up to me and hugs me and says how important I am to him constantly. I do enjoy his company and my heart flips when he says that but I feel he's scared.

As we got closer to my parents house, Dan stiffened next to me, scared of what he'll encounter when we got there. I took his hand to reassure him and he just flinched but didn't pull away.

When we got there, mum was already at the door, waving at us as we unloaded our stuff from the trunk of the cab.

"Phillip!" She exclaimed excitedly making me groan silently an Dan chuckle.

"Hey, mum." I said and hugged her.

"Ah, and you must be Dan!" She said and hugged Dan as well, catching him by surprise and he smiled at me.

"We're going up to my room, mum." I announced and she just nodded, reminding me that lunch will be ready soon.

When we made it to my room, Dan sat over at my desk chair awkwardly, looking around my room.

I sense hesitation in him, as if he wants to do something but is scared to. He would glance at me once in while as I used my laptop. He has completely ignored the fact that we had kissed two weeks ago. Maybe he forgot. Maybe it was just those 'in the moment' things that it happens and we forget. But I can't forget. I though I've abandoned all hope of us being together but I don't know if I should just yet. I like him, I really do, but he doesn't like me like that. He must still be freaked out because of the kiss... or the fact he disappeared for months and he suddenly came back.

"Where did you go?" I asked abruptly making him flinch and look at me.

"Many places." He answered and started using his phone.

"Oh okay." I said since I was scared how he would react if I kept pushing the topic. "Wanna play video games?" I asked hopeful and he smiled and nodded.

We played for almost two hours. We played Sonic, Mario Kart, etc. I couldn't help but stare at him from time to time. He was so beautiful. I just realized this. I listened to the song "Hallelujah" from Jeff Buckley and I scribbled down my own little version as Dan played Mario Kart.

I saw you home and sat below

Staring at your shadow, whole,

And hoped that one day you would see me.

I waited for time and time stood still,

For me to sit and life to kill,

I looked above and said "hallelujah".

Hallelujah, Hallelujah,

Hallelujah, Hallelujah.

I wrote down all your little calls,

The one's who looked and took it all,

If only you could see what you do to me.

I wished for life to keep me whole,

To take my life and heal my soul,

But all you did was kiss my "hallelujah"

Hallelujah, Hallelujah,

Hallelujah, Hallelujah.

I prayed for the day I would learn love,

To get up and look above,

To see you sleeping right next to me.

To take my arm and clean my slits,

To bring out my unholy sins,

To drink up and slur our "hallelujahs".

Hallelujah, Hallelujah,

Hallelujah, Hallelujah.

I swear I saw your silhouette,

A shadow only God would get,

I stared at it and it spoke to me.

It said that it loved me so

he won't give up and give me hope,

And when I hurt it'll bring my "hallelujah".

Hallelujah, Hallelujah,

Hallelujah, Hallelujah.

"What you writing, Philly?" Dan asked still staring at the TV screen and I just closed my notebook.

"Oh nothing." I sighed out, drinking in my lies.