Beneath The Bad.

Chapter 17. Being Honest.

Alex's eyes flustered open, groggily taking in his surroundings. He was met with an unfamiliar ceiling, and a wave of disorientation washed over him. As he struggled to sit up, a sharp pain shot through his chest, reminding him of the bullets he'd taken.

Sunshine's gentle voice soothed his frazzled nerves. "Hey, you're awake. How are you feeling?"

Alex's gaze locked onto hers, and he was struck by the concern etched on her face. She had saved him, stayed with him, even after witnessing the monster he became.

With a Herculean effort, Alex pushed himself up, wincing as he moved. Sunshine rushed to his side, supporting him.

"You...you didn't leave me," Jack stammered, his voice laced with gratitude.

Sunshine's expression softened. "I couldn't. You may be a monster, Alex, but you're still the man I...care about."

Alex's eyes searched hers, seeking answers. He knew he owed her an explanation.

"I lied to you, Sunshine," Jack began, his voice barely above a whisper. "I hid this part of myself because I was afraid of losing you. I didn't want you to see the darkness inside me and then hate me."

Sunshine's grip on his arm tightened. "Why? What made you this way?"

Alex took a deep breath, steeling himself for the truth. "My past, my family...it's all connected. I've been running from it for so long, but it's a part of me. I'm sorry I didn't trust you enough to tell you I was just so scared. For the first time in my life you made me feel this genuine happiness, I was scared to throw that all away."

Sunshine's expression was a mix of compassion and curiosity. "Tell me now, Alex, I want to understand. All what those men said about you, was it true? Did you really killed their father? I want to know and understand you Alex, Please let me help you”.

Alex looked away from her direct gaze, he sighed, “Its not that easy Sunshine, I hate the life I'm living and believe me I didn't choose it for myself, if I tell you who I really am, you'll despise me, and I dont Want that Sunshine,” he turned back to her and held her hand tightly, “I don't want to lose you, I really don't. But I'm trying to protect you from myself, because I too I'm scared of the person I am sometimes”.

Sunshine felt pity for him, then she just hugged him, patting his back then she said in a low and soothing voice, “Its alright Alex, It's alright, we all have our demons, we all have a dark past we never want to remember or relive, but the question is what to do with that darkness, we can either choose to be stuck there, always blame ourselves for what we would have done. Or... we can choose to outgrow it, its hard yes but you can start by telling yourself that it wasn't your fault, that life has everything planned for everyone so its not your fault, find forgiveness, first forgive yourself, then you'll find peace”.

All this deep words of encouragement, made Alex's eyes teary, but he held it in, he didn't want her to see himself crying.

After she said those things, Alex sighed and then he told her everything, from the very first day to now, and the true reason why he didn't see her for months. He explained everything without leaving anything behind.

Before he finished, Sunshine was already in tears, she felt immense pity for him and was sorry for all what he went through alone at that tender age. She totally over looked all the killings he had done and was just fixated on the genuine and innocent him.

Sunshine whipped her tears and calmed her shaky voice, “So what now Alex, are you going to stay in that gang till it kills you? Because the more you stay there, the more you're closer to your death”.

“Yes I know my sunflower, ever since I met you, I've only desired to leave that gang and start a normal life and I promise you, I will, I'm desperate to live a sweet and normal life with you. Speaking of the gang, I have to head back now, I've been away for quite a while”. He said as he stood up, in so much pains.

“Do you have to? You're still recovering why don't wait till tomorrow alright ”.

“Don't worry my Sunflower, I'll be back, wait for me alright, I'll end things with the Gang and I'll be back for you. I promise.”

He kissed her on her forehead as he left. Sunshine Prayed to God to keep him safe and whole buy the time he comes back.