The shy's girl crush

Chapter thirteen - Make up and realization

Loren's POV:

Dylan and Jackson made up, and now everything is fine. I called Alice, but she didn't tell me anything. I know Jackson talked with her. There are two versions. The first one is that she didn't let him speak at all. The second one is that they made up. I don't know if he likes her, but at least he is trying to fix his mess. Well, he doesn't need to apologize to me. I mean, we weren't that close. Speaking of fixing things, I have to talk with Dylan. I don't know why he wants to spend time with me so much. Honestly, that is all I have ever wanted. The thing is that now I don't think this way. I still fill my sketchbook with him, but that's it. That is the reason I don't want Alice to tell him anything. She likes to help me, but sometimes she does the opposite. That's why I don't need her help. I should say that all of this is weird. Before, Dylan never talked to me. I don't know what happened this year. He said he didn't want to make me uncomfortable. I wanted to believe him. The thing is that I felt like he didn't like me enough to do that. It's not like he does now. I don't know what is better. The fact that he was talking to me or that I started getting a bit calm. It would've been easier if I didn't have a crush on him. The fault that he looks good is not mine. I mean, it's not every day that you will see a blonde boy with blue eyes. Maybe I am exaggerating things a bit, but I like him. I was thinking about what could happen if I had told him everything. In the beginning, I thought he would laugh at my face. Now I think he will politely reject me. After all, I'm not the most beautiful girl in school. I have red hair and wear glasses sometimes. Also, I am the nerd in the school. No one will go out with me, no matter what I do. I hope that one day my wish will come true. I want to feel the butterflies as well.

I woke up and looked at the necklace with the dog. I know it's not mine, but I want to keep it. Let's be honest now. I won't do that, no matter how much I need this. The owner is probably searching for it. The problem is that I don't know to who it belongs. Alice's idea wasn't bad, but I won't ask every by in school. That way, everyone will know what happened. It's better if I keep it for now. If the owner wants this, he will find me.

I got out of bed and went to get ready. I put on tight jeans and a sweater. After all, nerds dress like that. Honestly, I like this style. I feel comfortable. Of course, I put on a jacket. I don't want to get cold. When I was ready, I went for breakfast. It looks like I was the last one to come. I took a toast and put some butter on top. That is delicious. It's a simple breakfast, but I love it. One day I will get up to prepare it.

- How is school? You don't talk much about it. - dad asked

- It's the same. Teachers keep ignoring me. - I said, annoyed

- You know they can't talk only with you.

- The problem that everyone is lazy is not mine!

- Calm down. I'm saying that the other students need to have grades as well. I'm sure you have them.

- Maybe.

- You can ask teachers to give you things to work on while they examine the others.

- I do everything they give me. Sometimes I wonder why I go to school.

- Maybe to educate yourself.

- Your dad is right. Do something to occupy yourself. You can take a book to class. I don't think teachers will forbid that.

- I don't know. I haven't tried this.

- Now it's time for you to do it.

- I will go and take a book.

After breakfast, I walked to school. Alice was talking with Jackson in front of her locker. I didn't say anything and put the books in mine. For some reason, I'm not much in the mood. I'm trying to look positive and happy, but I feel numb. I don't know why. I was about to walk to class when someone called me.

- Um, Loren?

- Yes.

- From where do you have this? - Jackson asked, looking at my necklace

- I-I don't know. I t-think someone gave it to me at the p-party.

- Are you sure?

- Well, I-I went there without it.

- She doesn't remember much. The only sure thing is that she woke up with it.

- Do you know who the owner is? - I asked

- Yes, I do.

- Great. You can give it to him.

- No, I won't.

- Why?

- Because you have to do it.

- I don't understand.

- You have the item. You will give it back.

- Will you at least tell me to who it belongs?

- Dylan.

- WHAT?

- He has been looking for it everywhere. You will make him happy if you give it back. I suggest you do it.

- Why don't you do it? He is your best friend.

- True, but he gave this to you.

- I never s-said that he gave it t-to me.

- Yes, but my best friend never takes this off. He must have given it to you.

- Loren, didn't you say that you talked with a boy? Maybe that is when Dylan gave it to you.

I was about to say something, but the bell started ringing. I took my things and walked to class. Dylan and Jackson were with us. I was with Alice as usual. Miss Johnson was asking a student questions. I used this chance to line up the pieces. If this belongs to Dylan, it means he gave it to me. Is it possible that he and I? No. No way. I didn't do it. I didn't make out with Dylan. Maybe I did. In my head, I put his image in the boy's shadow. It fitted perfectly. Sh*t! I did it. I made out with Dylan. I pulled out a note and wrote a message to Alice.

We need to talk during the lunch break. It's urgent. I think I know what happened at the party.

Ok, we can go to the field.

Thanks.

On the lunch break, Alice and I walked to the field. I know she will freak out when I tell her this. The thing is that I have to share it with someone. I waited for her to sit down and make herself comfortable.

- Ok, what is going on?

- Jackson said that this belonged to Dylan. - I said, pointing to the necklace

- Yes, so what?

- Do you remember the part when I told you I was with someone in a room?

- I told you that you have made out with someone.

- I think I know who he was.

- Who?

- Well.

- Hold on. No way! That can't be true.

- Maye it is.

- YOU MADE OUT WITH DYLAN?

- Yes.

- You little b*tch. I'm so happy for you.

- What? Why?

- Finally, you did something good. You have had a crush on Dylan since we came here.

- Alice, what happened is not something good.

- Yes, it is. Now it's my turn. Let's hope Jackson will be drunk. - Alice said, laughing

- Please, be serious. I don't know what to do.

- You have to give this back to Dylan.

- I know, but I can't look him in the face.

- Well, you have to do it.

- Maybe I can send it to the mail.

- What? No way! You will go there, find him, and give it back.

- Now?

- Yes, now!

- No! I won't do that. I'm not ready.

- Loren, one day, you have to do it. This thing is not yours. Also, Dylan is searching for it.

- I know.

- Then? What are you waiting for right now?

- Look, I can't do it. Not today. I want to think about this.

- Do whatever you want. I will go to eat. Are you coming?

- No, I want to stay here.

- It's your loss. I won't bring you food. - my best friend said and left

The class finished, and I went to take the books from my locker. I don't know how to tell Dylan I have his missing item. He will quickly connect the dots and understand what happened that night. I saw him in the hall but didn't do anything. I took my things and walked away. Soon, someone grabbed my hand.

- Hey.

- Oh, h-hi.

- Are you ok?

- Yes. I'm a bit tired.

- Do you want us to study together? Jackson said he would go out with Alice.

- Um, why not? When I go home, I will call you.

- Actually, I thought we could do it in person this time. I know a quiet place.

- I don't know.

- It's only studying. I won't do anything.

- Ok. Can we take drinks?

- I was hoping you could say this. Let's go.

Both with Dylan went to a small restaurant. I ordered a milkshake, and he got hot chocolate. The drinks were delicious. I pulled out my textbooks and started with the homework. Today's one is not much, but I have to finish some other things I started. When I was ready, I started with my lessons. Soon, Dylan joined me. As long as we don't talk, I am good. Studying with him online is much easier for me. Well, he wanted to do it in person. I can get up and leave, but that would be disrespectful. I slightly lifted my head and looked at him. Soon he did the same, and we made eye contact. I quickly nodded my head and continued reading. Dylan got off his place, sat next to me, and pulled me for a hug. Can I know why this feels good? I shouldn't be doing this, but I don't want to pull away. Later, we got back to our work.

- I know you might say no, but do you want us to go to the cinema?

- Yeah, why not?

- Really?

- Yes. I would love to go.

- Awesome. Since we are here, we can have a small dinner before that.

- I think it's much needed.

Dylan and I ordered food. I wanted to have French fries with meatballs. Dylan got meat with rice. Honestly, his food looks good. Maybe I should've ordered the same. Well, it's too late.

- You can try it if you want.

- Huh?

- I saw the way you looked at my food. If you want, we can switch.

- Why? My food is better.

- If you say so.

- I love it.

- Mmm. That is delicious.

- Stop! - I said, and he laughed

- What? I'm only enjoying my food.

- Do it quietly.

- Now you are not that shy.

- I.

- Relax, ok. I'm only messing with you.

- Maybe I have to skip the cinema.

- No, no. You promised me.

- I never promised you anything.

- You agreed. Please.

- Ok. I-I will c-come.

- Good.

After dinner, we went to the cinema. Dylan chose a movie and paid for the tickets. I went to buy snacks. We already had dinner, but you can't watch a movie without popcorn and a drink. Our places were in the middle of the hall. I gave Dylan one of the popcorn boxes and the cup of coke. The other one was for me.

- Thank you for coming with me.

- N-no p-problem.

- Why are you so nervous around me? I won't do anything to you.

- I-I know. Y-you are a g-good boy.

- I like it when you get carried away and say what you think.

- Really?

- Yes. That is Loren having fun with Alice. I want to get to know her.

- She is boring.

- I don't think so. I believe he is funny.

- Why?

- Because I know it. You know how to have fun. Mostly when you are around the right people. I hope that I'm one of them.

I didn't say anything. That was because I didn't know what. I don't know what I'll do if Dylan keeps being nice to me. For the rest of the movie, we were quiet. Honestly, it wasn't that bad. I haven't watched it before, and it was interesting. Will I watch it again? Probably no. The movie was good, but not perfect. Also, I don't watch movies that often. When it finished, both with Dylan walked out. I believe that he will want to take me home. I'm not sure if I have to do that.

- Did you like it?

- Yeah, the movie was good.

- You didn't like it, did you?

- I-I did, but I w-won't watch it again.

- Why?

- B-because watching the same movie twice is not something I like. I-I already know what will happen.

- True. If you ever want to watch something, feel free to call me.

- T-thanks. I-I will.

- It's getting late, so I better take you home.

- I-I can go alone.

- Don't you want me to come with you? It's dark.

- No. Yes. I don't know. - I said and nodded my head

- Hey, you can tell me if there is a problem. - Dylan said and lifted my head

- N-no. E-everything is fine.

- Are you sure?

-Y-yes.

- Ok, then. I have no problem with you going home alone if it has been during the day.

- I-I'm not scared of the dark.

- I don't mean that.

- Y-you can c-come if you w-want.

- Thank you.

After half an hour, we were close to my house. I pointed to Dylan, one of them. I don't know who lives there, but it doesn't matter. I don't want to tell him where I live. He might decide to come, and I don't want that. My house is the place where I feel safe.

- Well, that was for today. Thank you for spending the day with me.

- N-no problem.

- I would like to do it again, but it won't be tomorrow. I will give you some rest. - Dylan said, chuckling

- It-it's ok. I like it.

- Really?

- Yes.

- Great. I want to study with you tomorrow.

- C-can we use FaceTime?

- Sure. We'll do whatever you want.

- T-thanks.

- Ok, I will leave you now. Goodnight and sweet dreams.

- T-to you too. - I said, and he left

I quickly walked to my house and closed the door. I liked spending time with Dylan, but it was too much. I won't lie that I felt a bit anxious. He is an ordinary boy, but being around people for so long makes me nervous. I don't know why he is still going out with me. I can barely make a proper conversation. Maybe I need to go to therapy or start training. I keep saying it, but I never did it. I don't know what to do. I'm glad that Alice and Jackson sorted everything. That reminds me that I have to give Dylan his necklace. I'll send it in the mail. There is no way I will give it to him in person. I hope that he won't understand who had it.