If Only

I stared at my self in the mirror as I look at the gorgeous baby blue dress I had on. It was perfect. The perfect day the perfect life and the perfect dress. I was happy. I had everything that I could ask for. We both did. My best friend, Spencer Ride. Spencer was gorgeous. With her smooth pale skin and round full lips. And big curly hair and her amazing model-like body. She was the kind of girl that every guy wanted, and every girl wanted to be. And I, well, I was the complete opposite of her. I wasn't as pretty as her. I had a thin body with wavy brown hair and small round tips. Us being friends can surprise some people. But I got over that. I was happy with the way I looked, and I felt good about my self. I loved my life. "Elena...." I turned around to see my best friend crying with her makeup running down her face. I immediately hugged her and asked, "Spencer, what's wrong?" She hugs me tighter. "I can't marry him. I don't want to marry; please help me. I don't want this," my eyes widen as I let her go and stare at her in complete confusion. I didn't know why she was acting this way. "Spencer, what do you mean?" I look at her, my hands on her shoulder, gripping on to her as she cried, letting her tears fall on to her beautiful lace wedding dress. "I can't marry him; I don't love him. Please help me. I don't want to be with him." She said, hugging me and crying on to my shoulder I rubbed her hair. I was confused about why she was acting this way. I thought she loved him. "Please tell me why?" "I never loved him. My parents forced us to be together, and I never could bring myself to love him even though he loved me," she says, looking at me, I stare at her completely shocked. They looked so in love. "Oh, my god Spencer why didn't you say anything about this." "I couldn't my parents forced me and blackmailed me not to say anything to you or anyone." I didn't know what to say. I was speechless and shocked at the news I was hearing, and I didn't know what to do. "You need to help me escape Elena, please help me" she begged me. "What do you want me to do?" - Hours later, I was brought into the church with a long veil covering my face, and the gorgeous white lace dress that Spencer was wearing was now on me. Tears were welling up in my eyes as I fixed my gaze on to the ground. I couldn't believe what was happening. I was to marry Adam Wilson. Spencer begged me, crying and pleading with me to do this for her, and I couldn't refuse her. I had to help her, and if marrying him was the only way, then so be it. He was told the truth by Spencer, and he agreed to marry me for the sake of his pride and his families. I had sacrificed everything for this, and I still couldn't believe I was going through with it. Spencer decided to flee the country and not comfort her parents after they had found out what she had done. I walked down the aisle with my dress dragging along the floor. I met Adam at the altar, and he looked broken wholly shattered to see me instead of Spencer. And with that, the vows were said. - I entered the home Spencer should be living in. I been to this house many times and remembered thinking this is going to be the home of my best friend and being jealous of how lucky she was. The same house that I feel unwanted and alone now. Adam rushed out of the house, not saying anything. Then again, he didn't have to. Who was I to him? - The maid showed me to my room, and I was astonished at how big the room was and how the bed was covered with flowers. All of it was meant to be for Spencer. It made me feel uncomfortable as I stood in this room. I asked the maid to clean it all up as I went to the bathroom to remove the wedding dress off of me. As I entered the bathroom, I immediately took off the dress and dropped it on the floor and stared at myself in the mirror. I couldn't even look at myself without wanting to cry. I kept repeating, 'why did I marry him' in my head. It's funny how just this morning, I thought of how perfect my life seemed and in matters of moments, everything changed. I let it change. I could've said no and that I didn't want to do this, but yet I chose to sacrifice myself. My life is never going to be the same. I was married to a man that hates me and wants nothing to do with me, and I live in a house that I feel unwanted in. Right now, I just felt so alone and betrayed I couldn't even move. All the pain that I have been holding back came rushing back; I felt completely numb. - I entered the room again and saw that everything was clean and all the flowers were gone. I made my self to the bed begging for sleep to come. And was relieved when my eyes shut as soon as my head hit the pillow. I pulled my blanket closer to me and hugged the pillow as I cried soft tears. It was my life now. I had to face this, and I won't be able to do anything. I was hoping this is all a terrible nightmare. But I couldn't fool myself. It was real, and I had to be strong enough to get through it all. I did this for my best friend, and even if I didn't love and he was nowhere close to loving me either, I had to be able to live through it. It was my life now.