THE DILEMMA

"s**t I'm late". This always happened for the whole six months I have had my job I have never been on time, never, not even once. It was just my luck that my boss was also almost never puntual. Well who could blame her, she's a successful black woman, with a stable job as the manager and director of Cara's fashion choice, one of the biggest fashion house in the city and a stable family whereas I'm just me! A 24years old girl with nothing tied to my name. It was 8:45 and my job started by 9:30. I was yet to take a shower and dress up, thanks to my subsconcious for making sure I brought out my clothes the previous night. I took my tooth brush and started brushing my teeth, I can't even do my facials again today. I hopped into the shower, making sure the water was warm enough before I started bathing. Dressing up has always been what made me end up later than I usually am, cause working for a fashion company, I'll have to leave up to that. I have always loved fashion, right from my teenage days, I had always wanted to look good and I always do. Even if nothing else seems to be working, I knew my fashion was always top notch. I mean always, Everytime, and I'm not even joking. Now done, lookinginto my full length mirror to assess my attire which consisted of a pinkmom Jean that I got from the thrift store down the road, with a black corset and a pink blazer with white strapped heels and white and black bag. I had my hair in a pony tail in the middle of my head and I knew I looked good. I took my bag with the necessities inside which included my phone, lip balm because I always had dry lips, an oil perfume and my car keys, and I took an apple from my counter in the kitchen to serve as my breakfast and hoppef into my Honda Civic that was gifted to me by my Dad on my 21st birthday. I hoped there was no traffic, as it was 9:35 already."God please let the road be free today." As I was about to drive out, my neighbor an older lady who had ten cats came out to serve me with breakfast like she always did, cheese cake with smoothie that she swears is good for my health even though it taste like literal s**t. "Good morning Ms Akintson" " " Morning Jacq, and how many times do I tell you to just call me Belle. This is your breakfast fast make sure you eat it Jacq " she said sternly like mother would to her child "Yes Ms.. i mean Belle I promise, thank you and have a nice day." I replied with as much conviction I could muster to make sure she believed me. I ate the cake Everytime I was given, but I swore to never taste that s**t ever again, I always gave it to Mabel in the office, she's was pregnant and she liked s**t like that. At least I was not wasting it, but she didnt need to know that. She stood by the opposite side of the road as I drove out then waved at me before going to see her cats and let me tell you she had names for all ten of those cats. I always looked for excuses not to visit because I hated cats, but I couldn't outrightly say I did because she was so nice and had taken me in as her daughter, so I always had to pretend like I loved them, so either I have being doing a good job at pretending or she knew and was refusing to call me out on it.. Surprisingly I got to work 9:50 on the dot and I was really happy about it, so today should be a good day since I came earlier than usual.... So here goes nothing ******************* I spoke too early. My boss was here before me. "s**t s**t s**t shitttttt" I walked into the office and the whole place was quiet. The place was never quiet unless she was around, she hated noice and rowdiness, because according to her it made her less productive. What do I do? " Oh I'm sorry honey seems you'll have to figure that one out by yourself" Mabel replied me with pity on her face. Seems I asked the question out loud. " Why is she here early? What is happening today? Is there any meeting going on that I don't know about? Why the f**k is she here ? " I ask almost panting Because s**t I'm scared. "Okay slow down honey, I think she's in a happy mood" What? My boss was never in a good mood. " so maybe she won't be so hard on you today. She said something about meeting with some work friends from another branch for some reason I have no idea" Mabel continued too calmly, almost bringing my breathing back to normal. As we were still talking, Ben her secretary that had been hitting on me for months came out with a scowl on his face requesting for me. " Oh hell no! I've really had the time of my life here guys, in case I die inside that office, know that I'll miss you and tell my parents I love them even though I don't show it enough" I reply with sad eyes. Mabel and Ben look at me like I'm crazy, I might as well be because I was about to loose my job and I was shitting on my pants. " Stop you are just being dramatic " Ben who has been silent replied me with his gruffed voice. For a guy so short, he had a nice voice. I don't know why I had been turning him down, I had been turning a whole lot of guys down for the past six months, I didnt know what I waslooking for but it was not them. They came with the same lines of words to say, no butterflies, no electricity and all that s**t. Now I'm thinking of my sad love life when I had job to focus on. Some days were like that, I zoned out completely when talking to people thinking about shitty things like why that person decided to wear what he wore or the combination of colors one puts on. Okay now pulling myself from my unnecessary thoughts I looked back to Mabel seeing her perplexed look. "Okay I can do this " I said with the conviction that I did not have. They both wish me good luck and I stride off.