No Matter What

People were born different from each other, which makes us all unique from one another. Some were born with talents, like Juven Tuss. He both excelled in music and the arts, which made him a millionaire at a young age. Some were born lucky, like Youthof Dodgess. Aside from being a young master of a noble and wealthy family, lady luck is always in his side that he gets what he wants effortlessly. Some were not supposed to be born, like me. I was abandoned in the hospital after my mother gave birth to me. I should be given to an orphanage for adoption, but I’ve been kept in the hospital because of my congenital heart disease. I actually thought that my cardiologist was my father because I heard the nurses say that it was him who was paying for the expenses that I had incurred while staying in the hospital. I was four when an intern nurse who eventually became newly hired, dedicated most of her time to taking care of me. She then married the hospital’s director's son. Two years later, she became a regular. I was one of the witnesses with their romance. They were expecting a child on the way, but they adopted me first, before my brother was born. It was my 7th birthday when I became an official member of the Havene family, one of the wealthiest families in Asia, and the Oh family, a family of well-known doctors since the Joseon dynasty. For six years, I grew up with loving parents and an adorable little brother, but then Mom gave birth to another son. My newborn brother wasn’t eight months old when Mom gave him away to my uncle, her first younger brother, the night before she died. Mom was found dead the next morning, and I was told it was an accident, but I found the truth on the last day of her funeral. Mom committed suicide. That was one of the truths that I wasn’t meant to find, along with the other revelations that Mom would want to take in her grave. It was about my identity. It turned out that Mom was actually my birth mother and my father was my so-called ‘first uncle’. Worst, my newborn brother was actually my full-blooded brother. How fvcked up is that?! I almost followed Mom in the afterlife upon learning the gruesome truth about my origin, but Dad, the man that Mom married and the first man who truly loved me as his daughter, never gave up on me. I was saved but barely living even though Dad did everything he could to give me a new start. We cut ties with the Havene family and migrated to the US, and began a new life in a town where nobody knew us. But knowing that I’m an aberration who shouldn’t exist in the world, it was difficult to keep on living, pretending that everything was fine even though it was far from alright, I was dying inside. I thought dying would be the only choice that I had; end everything once and for all. I wasn’t gonna live for long anyway. Why wait for death to arrive when I could meet death sooner? I chose the high school’s basketball court to be my deathplace, by hanging myself on the ring, since that was the only thing that I could possibly tie the rope I took from the utilities room. With the rope getting tighter on my neck, I knew then that it wouldn’t be long before my end. But someone cut the rope and told me that death wasn’t the solution to my problem. It was the girl who was being bullied at school because her father was a murderer and her mother was a drug addict. She was locked up by the bullies and thought of staying the night since she would be out in the morning anyway. Being nonchalant about everything was her way of surviving. She and I became friends eventually as she made me realized that we can’t choose our parents, but we can choose how to live our life. She was the strongest and bravest person that I ever met, a friend that I never thought I needed, the one who showed me the light during my darkest times. After graduation, she went to a police academy. She wanted to be like her foster dad who took care of her while her parents were serving their time in prison. That was her purpose in life, to bring justice into the world we lived in, even though it was next to impossible because not every evildoer could be brought to justice, but she had to fight for her way. As for me, I know I can’t be like her, but I also have a fight to take on, which is to keep on living, not just for my Dad and brother, who loved me unconditionally, but also for myself. I only live once, and I won’t waste my remaining time on earth wallowing with self-pity or any negative feelings that would shorten my already short life. So, I told my Dad that I wanted to see the world. My best friend in middle school invited me on a cruise trip which I accepted as the start of my new journey in life. But instead of adventure, the trip introduced me to the world of romance.