LOST IN YOUR ARMS (JASMINE STORY)

chapter 3

=MARTIN=

I was standing at the terrace with my arms on the grills, sipping a cup of coffee early in the morning while looking over the clear blue ocean.

We were at Monteverde's rest house, at the heart of Bolinao, Pangasinan. It was a six-hour trip from Manila but and I must admit that the long ride worth it. The place is magnificent, calming and heartwarming. It's a perfect spot for those who are in the nature, sea, waves, sunrise and sunset.

I smile as the warm breeze touches my cheek. I wonder what would my mom would respond if she's here.

This is heaven, she would say…

I'm glad that I tagged along with Lindon, for I get to see again the magnificent and close to paradise beauty of my birthplace. Yes, I was born in the Philippines because my mom is a Filipina. I am a half- Filipino and half- Mexican.

Maaaring nawalay ako nang matagal sa bansang ito, subalit dalubhasa pa rin ako sa pagsasalita ng tagalog. Binatilyo na ako nang nagpasiya ang aking mga magulang na mag-migrate sa Amerika. Saka sinisigurado ng aking ina na hindi ko malilimutan ang wikang kinagisnan. Tagalog ang aming ginagamit na salita ‘pag nasa bahay kami.

I grinned when I look back my mom would advise me; I should pick Filipina for a companion or a spouse. She claims they are loving, generous, caring and forgiving.

I doubt if Jasmine is like that... I think of how warmth her smiles as she welcomes me first hand and after supper, she spoke to me as if we were familiarized with each other a very long time ago.

Had you forgotten she's Lindon' baby sister, my mind inserted.... Well, she's articulate, chipper and beautiful little sunshine.

I rattle my head as I realized my stream of thoughts. I remind myself to distant myself to her and not become so comfortable with her. She's inexperienced and simple and not suited for me.

Should you jeopardize your friendship with Lindon because of her? An insignificant voice in my head said.

Well, I can't, I mean Lindon and I, have known each for than a decade. We're neighbors and best buddies before we moved to South Carolina because my grandad asked my parents go and settle with them.

Years had passed and I have no news about Lindon. If he is doing great or not, I have no learning. But last year, destiny has delivered us closely. I met him again during my workshop at Mexico. I was thankful that we crashed to each other.

Lindon was overwhelmed and glad to see me too and so am I. We chatted for a couple of minutes later we exchanged numbers. I found out he was already an orphan. The news startled me to the core. I felt sorry for him to lose both your parents at the same moment in a tragedy. I can't imagine the pain he was going through when his parents both died in a car accident, leaving him and his younger sister at the early age.

A few months after the incident, we meet again.... And here I am now... reunited with him

"Nandito ka lang pala. Kanina pa kita tinatawag. Ang akala ko nasa labas ka kaya 'di ka man lang sumasagot," a voice said and I found Lindon leaning on the railing beside me.

"Sorry man, I am got absorbed with the view," I told him honestly. "You are right, this place is so peaceful and relaxing." Inalok ko siya ng kape pero tinanggihan niya.

"Kailan ba ako nagkamali," maangas niya wika, "Halika, mag-almusal na tayo."

"Ikaw na lang, coffee is fine with me." I said and look at the vast sea again

"Anong coffee is fine with me ka diyan!" sita niyang sabi "Hindi pwede na hindi ka mag-almusal. Madami tayong pupuntahan, ‘kala mo!"

I looked at him with brows knitted, I saw that like me his eyes was also fixed onto the sea.

"Halika mag-breakfast na tayo," pilit niyang muli akin.

I shake my head. "I don't eat breakfast," sabi ko at inubos ang aking kape.

Lindon glance at me as if I said something unacceptable. "Hindi pwede na hindi ka mag-agahan. Hindi mo ba alam ang kasabihan na ang agahan ang pinakamahalaga sa lahat dahil ito ang magbibigay sa ‘yo ng lakas buong araw. Kaya halikana bumaba na tayo at mag-agahan. Pinaghanda pa naman tayo ng agahan si unshine. Tiyak na magdadamdam 'yon ‘pag nalamam niya na hindi natin kinain. Pinaghirapan niya pa naman tayong ipagluto. Ang aga kaya niyang nagising para ipaghanda tayo ng babauning pagkain."

I look at him like I am unable to believe what he just said. My mouth wanted to ask the question my head, but I absentmindedly utter it. "She rose up early just to prepare our breakfast?"

"Yes, not only our breakfast but our meals and snacks as well. Sunshine hates the idea of me eating take out," matapat na wika ni Lindon

"She did that? Really? But I don't saw her moving inside the house."

"Because you were still sleeping when she's preparing our food. And perhaps as you wake up, she already gone to bed again and resume her sleep." Lindon told me and chuckles even more.

"Hasn't she had classes?" I asked confusedly.

"Don't worry Sunshine don't cut classes whenever I'm here. And it's Wednesday, her class begins in the afternoon. It's her habit whenever I'm home, she always makes time to prepare my meals. And if I scold her because of it, she just told me to let her be because it's her way of making up for all the time were not together. She's a brat and spoiled at times to anyone but for me she's definitely the sweetest, caring, reliable and loving person when you know her."

I felt that Lindon loves and adores his sister so much and I like that. I don't experience that kind of feeling. I have no sibling to speak.

Looks like she's a jewel in his eyes...

So, I forced myself to eat some breakfast because of what Lindon told me. To my surprise, the moment I put an ample amount of food inside my mouth and chew it, I found myself enjoying the food. And without realizing it, I am eating heartily.

"She should pursue culinary arts," I said absent-minded, blame it to the food, it tastes so good that I wanted more.

"Yes, she should take culinary but I won't force her if she won't."

I raised my eyebrows at him and look at him saying I find it hard to believe but he just smiles at me.

"You are letting her do her things, you're sure?" I scoffed at him.

Lindon let out a soft laugh realizing my statement. "Well, I will try. Sunshine loves taking pictures of sceneries, animals, people and virgin places. You should see her dark room located at the attic. Several photos were being displayed there. You might be amazed of how good she is at her early years if you see those pictures up close."

"Then I think I need to see it before we go back to Manhattan," I told Lindon as I put more food on my plate.

"Yes, you should," he convinced me. "Actually, I'm planning to buy her a place wherein she can display all of her pictures."

"More like a gallery art."

It was not a question but a statement.

"Yes, sounds like that."

I shake my head and look at him flatly "There you go again, deciding on something without asking her opinion," I said trying to scold him and put some sense on his mind, "Remember the last time you booked her a flight to South Carolina which she turned down? How about the car you bought for her but she reluctantly used it, saying it will be so foolish of her to used it since her school is just a few blocks away from your home. I don't know but you always contradict yourself. Hadn't you've learned a lesson? Man, before you decide on something, I advise you to ask her first, who knows she might not like the idea of exposing her crafts to the world." I told him in between meals

"I know but she's my sister," he said and looked at me with both sadness and joy in his eyes. "I want to help her realize her dreams before she knows it herself."

I looked at Lindon and can't help but to admire him. "I know you love her like she's your world but please don't ignore her right to decide for herself. She maybe young but she definitely knows what she wants."

"I know but I can't stop myself," he admitted as he shrugged both his shoulders.

I look at him in a very serious manner. "Control that side of you. If you wanna to create conflict between the two of you then do it. You must realize that Jasmine is not you. She's your sister. Let her decide for whatever she wants. After all, it's her life not yours."

Lindon sigh deeply and smile bitterly. "I guess, I wanna see her happy. The kind of happiness she deserved. I’m always away and I know she gets lonely sometimes. Mahirap mabuhay na walang magulang at kapatid sa 'yong tabi. Kaya hindi mo ako masisi lalo pa sa kalagayan ko."

Napahinga ako nang malalim at napatigil sa pagkain.

"At kailan mo sasabihin sa kanya ang tunay mong kalagayan?"

"Hindi ko magawang sabihin. Ang totoo, ayaw kong sabihin. Wala akong lakas na sabihin sa kanya. Hindi ko 'ata makakaya na makita siyang lumuluha."

"Paano ‘pag dumating na ang kinakatakutan mo? Paano mo maitatago sa kanya ang lahat?"

"Babalik ako ng Amerika or magkunwaring bumalik ng Amerika. May mga ibang bahay bakasyunan pa naman kaming hindi niya alam. Doon muna ako magpapalipas ng araw. Kaya pakiusap ‘pag dumating na ang pagkakataon at araw nang may mangyari sa akin maari bang ihabilin ko siya sa ‘yo? I know you will not accept this but I felt you are the right person to be her guardian. I know you will take care of her more than I can."

"Sira ka ba? Tumigil ka nga, Lindon Abraham! that will never happen," galit kong wika.

"You know my condition, Martin. Alam mo rin na maaring bukas or sa makalawa mawawala ako sa kanya. Kaya nga kita dinala dito para masanay siya sa ‘yo. Hindi siya madaling magtiwala or makagaanan ng loob ang ibang tao pero sa nakikita ko, she likes you. And I feel you can earn her trust."

"Bakit kasi hindi mo na sabihin sa kanya ang totoo?"

"I can't, knowing my sister, magiging mahirap sa kanya. Baka ‘pag nalaman niya, tumigil siya sa pag-aaral at pilitin akong manatili sa tabi niya. I don't want to cage her and burden her with my condition. I want her to live her life freely and not worrying over me."

"But she is your only family. She has the right to know. Do you think she won't be hurt if she knows that you are keeping her in the dark?" giit kong wika.

"I know but I can't imagine her going through the same process again. When our parents died she was so broken but she manage to pick up herself because she has me. I'm not confident if she can be strong like that after knowing my condition. She only have me and be miserable if she knows I won't stay long by her side. So please... promise me, please... don't tell her anything. Let her believe I'm okey and doing great."

"Mahirap iyang hinihingi mo. Nakakasakal at napakabigat lalo na ngayong nakilala ko na si Jasmine. How could I be able to look at her straight in the eyes when the time comes."

"Ikaw lang ang maaasahan ko. Please be there for her, be her friend be her brother and be her guardian, please take good care of my sunshine. It's my death wish" he begged helplessly

I let out a long deep sigh as I look at him, his eyes were solemn and asking. "Okey, I do it. You don't have to beg."

We stayed silent as we finished our breakfast. Then after that, we went to explore the place.

It’s been twelve years since I left this country and I observed some big changes but the people and their warmth smile remain.

I looked at the vast sea and to the man next to me... and I can't help but to admire and pitied him at the same time.

I wonder if Jasmine will like me still... if she found out that we lied to her...

But a promise is a promise... and I never break my promises.