Finding Home

The Couple- Pt 1

As I nodded my head, the door to the office flew open. “There you are dear!” Mrs. Porter grinned as she ushered me into the room. “And I see you’ve already met Carter.”

As I looked back at the door that I had just entered, I saw that the man was no longer standing there but had instead made his way to one of the two guest chairs to my right. “Not really…what’s going on?” I glanced between the man, Carter, and Mrs. Porter, before realizing that the second chair was occupied by a woman. When I spoke, she turned around, meeting my eyes with the biggest smile on her face, the complete opposite of the look on the man’s face beside her.

“Well Lily…this is Carter and his wife Addison.” She said gesturing to each of them. “And these two…oh forgive me dear, what were their names again?” She asked looking at the woman, Addison, and gesturing to a spot on the floor in between the couple. I moved over and saw two little boys, no older than five and three, playing on the floor.

Addison looked away from me and smiled at Mrs. Porter before responding. “Oh don’t worry about it! The older one is Landen, and this little one is Larsen.” She said, brushing her hands through the youngest boy’s hair before looking back at me.

For an awkward moment, no one spoke. Mrs. Porter was smiling, watching the boys play on the floor in between their parents. Addison was smiling at me, almost as if studying me. And Carter was looking between me and his fingers, nervously wringing them before clenching them into fists, the same look on his face as before we had entered the room. I took a deep breath, unsure of how I wanted to ask my earlier ignored question.

“Mrs. Porter…I’m sorry…but why am I here?” I asked looking between her and the couple, forcing a smile to cover my nervous expression.

I watched as Mrs. Porter looked away from the boys before looking over a me. A sad smile crossed over her face, before she took a deep breath, taking my hand in hers. “Lily… Carter and Addison have asked if they could foster you.”

I felt my mouth drop open, who would want to foster a 16 year old? This has to be a prank, a joke. I started nervously laughing, pulling my hand from Mrs. Porter’s, unsure of how else to react. “Yeah…yeah okay…okay, why am I really here?” I looked between the three of them, watching the reactions on their faces. Mrs. Porter was still smiling, although I could tell she seemed sad. Meanwhile Addison and Carter both had a pained look in their eyes, before forcing themselves to avert their gaze, Carter staring intently at his hands again and Addison at the two boys. Panic consumed me as I realized that I was wrong. This wasn’t a joke, they want to foster me, which means I’m leaving again. I looked back at Mrs. Porter, feeling the tears well up in my eyes as I started stuttering over my words.

“It’s…it’s real? I...I...I have to leave again?” Tears started to pour as images of all of my past families flooded my mind. All my families who decided that they didn’t want me, that I wasn’t good enough for them. I thought I was finally past feeling that heartbreak, but now here I am about to face it again. Through tears, I saw Mrs. Porter nod her head at Addison and Carter as they both stood up, picking up the boys and heading out in the hallway.

I felt my shoulders start to shake as Mrs. Porter led me to sit in one of the previously occupied chairs.

Tears poured as she sat down next to me and held on tight to my hand. A few minutes passed before they subsided, and we were left in a sad silence. I heard Mrs. Porter take a deep breath as she looked for what to say next. “Look, hon…I know you haven’t had the best luck when it came to foster homes. You have gone into so many of them, just for you to come back here, completely heartbroken. And I completely understand why you would prefer to just stay here with me and the other girls, rather than leaving again. I know it’s easier to stay where you have grown comfortable, but I honestly think that this family would be good for you.”

Silent tears fell down my cheeks as I listened to her words, searching for the right way to respond. “Mrs. Porter…it’s just…it’s easier to stay here. I know what’s going to happen if I go…it's the same thing that’s happened with everyone else. I’ll go….and assuming that they are one of the good families, I’ll start loving them. I’ll enjoy being in their home, start imagining myself as actually having a family. And then I’ll be right back here, suitcase in hand, and completely heartbroken. I can’t do that again.” I stopped, the last part coming out as more of a whisper.

“Sweetheart…I have been here with you since you were 5 years old. You were the first little girl that I opened these doors to. I’ve seen what you’ve gone through, and I’ve mended each of those broken hearts. But that’s what love is. You willingly give your heart to someone else, at the risk of it getting broken, in order to receive something even greater. As much as it pains me to imagine you leaving, I honestly think that this could be your new family. I would never encourage you to do this again unless I believed it was worth it! But I need you to trust me on this…can you do that? Do you trust me?”

I felt a small smile cross my face as the I answered her simple question. “Yeah…of course I do.”

Mrs. Porter smiled, a look of relief filling her face. “Good…that’s good.” She pat the back of my hand thinking for a moment before taking a deep breath and smiling. “Well why don’t you go back to your room, I know the other girls are probably waiting on you, especially Paige. After you finish packing, come back down for dinner, you’ll be leaving shortly after.”

I nodded my head, using one and to furiously wipe away the tears still on my cheeks. As Mrs. Porter and I stood up, she embraced me in a tight hug. “Do me a favor, okay?” she whispered in my ear. As I nodded in agreement, she pulled away and took each of my hands in hers. “Don’t enter into this home with the mindset that they will be sending you back here. Give them a chance, an honest one.” I knew she was right, it wasn’t fair of me to expect the worst out of someone that I don’t know. I nodded my head again, agreeing to her terms, as she squeezed my hands and continued. “Instead…go into this home with the mindset that this couple… this sweet family, wants you to be their daughter. And you know what…if, and that means IF, it ever became like one of your past experiences, you do still have an entire family right here, willing to help you mend your heart and welcome you back. But for your sake, and theirs, I hope that is never the case. Because, all of those families who have broken your heart and sent you back here, all of them, have missed out on the amazing young woman that is standing in front of me now.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Porter.” I whispered, giving her another hug before letting her guide me to the closed door, quietly chuckling as her small hands wiped any remaining tears from my eyes. “Now, go.” She smiled and opened the door, gesturing towards Addison and Carter sitting on the bench in the hallway, the two boys playing with their toy cars on the floor.