Her Voice

I am having those nightmares again , i dont even know if i should call them nightmares or memories ,very bad memories ... Its been 8 years but the scars and the memories are still engraved in my mind and  its like reliving your worst nightmares over and over again ... This wouldnt have happened if i wasnt a coward , my parents will still be alive if only i had screamed for help.. YEAH i know i shouldnt blame myself but i do , i blame myself for being weak and useless i mean i cant even talk... I AM A MUTE AND MY NAME IS ATHENA BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE CALL ME PRINCESS ATHENA After my nightmares I am unable to sleep anymore so i always go to the training room,its where I fight all my demons and conquer all my fears because If i cant talk then i will fight ...like always the Palace was quite and peaceful because it was like 3am so a lot of people are still sleeping, the servant wake up i think 5am some 4am so i have an hour of peace... I LOVE TRAINING because it connects me to my parents , this is where i would always be with my father every morning , I miss them every second of everyday and i know that wherever they are they are looking at me and crying their eyeballs out because i am not happy... Thats what they have always wanted and that is to see me happy but how can i be happpy???? i am all alone and i cant even tell anyone how are feel because nothing is coming out of my stupid mouth... I spent all my training time today thinking about what am i going to do know??? I am 20 years old and i am mute which means even if i wanted too i couldnt be Queen , I can never take my place as the QUEEN OF WELWITCHIA  and i cant be a wife because no one would want to marry a mute like me ... i guess  time will tell what happens next