Release
616 Words
⚠️⚠️Warning this chapter contains self harm. Readers be advised I will give warning before I go into the harm and another when it ends just in case anyone wants to skip over.⚠️⚠️
I excused myself, I told her that I had to go to the restroom and I'll be right back but I really didn't want to come back. All I could see was darkness and loneliness and I didn't understand anything that was going on, I didn't know what to say or who to go to.. to help me so I went to the bathroom I locked the door and rolled up my sleeve hiding my past scars. i haven't lost control of this urge to end this all since I was 19 and I met Blake.. He was 20 at the time passing by the library we caught each other passing glances at one another. He blushed and gather enough courage to come towards me and ask me out. I looked intohis deep brown eyes that looked like the warm earth rich with hues of gold sparkling underneath. Since that day I was head over heels he was perfect in every way I couldn't believe I had found someone so warm, loving, strong, smart, etc... Just basically a text book perfect guy. He helped me get through my depression with his patience and love.
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I didn't know what else to do I looked at my scars counting them and rolling my fingers over them. The memory of the pain, but also the relief that the pain had brought me I had worked so hard not to want to do this again but this pain is too real. If my own sister could betray me and my true love then who would love me who could ever want me.
As tears fill my eyes I feel around in my purse and took my razor out of my purse and I lightly sliced it against my skin, the steel bringing back the memory of pleasure from the pain and relieve at the light sting. Then all I could think of was seeing that obscene image in my head of my boyfriend and my sister lying in bed looking at me so surprised. So I took a deep breath and I slashed deeper. I laid in the floor holding myself crying.
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I heard knocking on the door I was to weak to respond to her, Janelle was banging on the door screaming my name "Annie.. Annie!!!!! please open the door....oh Annie please!!... hey please open the door Annie.."I heard her banging and then I could see shadows embracing my eyes nothing but a hollow vision. I close my eyes and then out of nowhere the door slams open I could barely make out who was holding me but the smell of musky oak made me calm. “Hold on" his sweet deep honey voice rattled in my ears as if I had heard this voice before it was so comforting all I could hear was “hold on.. hold on” and then nothing but darkness consumed me again the dreams…those dreams I didn't understand what they were all I knew was it felt like somebody needed me, desperately needed me I didn't know how to help them. The dream was continuous this time the person holding out his hand I could see his eyes and his hair I was entranced by the beauty, his eyes… his eyes were gray blue and his hair was brown kissed by the sun he looked as if he was a God coming to take me I…I wanted his embrace but then I heard beeping from a heart monitor.
- Writer
