mark of redemption

I've never forgiven them, and never will

The next morning I wake up to lady Gaga.. I f*****g hate her music. Renna was in the shower already, so I leave the bedroom to mentally prepare my mom to meet her. I still remember the look on my mom's face when she meet her. I just wanted the encounter to end, thankfully I had to work at eight that morning. She dropped me off at work and went job hunting.

Near the end of my shift, a coworker approached me to tell me there was a "creepy guy" watching us. I look out to the dining room to see Renna smiling at me. I wave to her, "That's my friend", I tell my coworker hesitantly.

As soon as my shift ended we left together and went to rent a movie, it was my Friday and I wasn't ready to be around her for a long period of time. Over the coarse of the next few hours we bonded more than in the previous Six months. At the end of the night we just talked for hours while holding each other until she suddenly kissed me out of nowhere.

I decided right then that I didn't care what she looked like. she was my best and only friend, and had made me happy just by being there. We made love for the first time that night. I don't remember much from the experience other than it being clumsy and awkward.

I lay back, and breathe deep. She lays on my chest and after a few moments pass, I hear her crying.. She told me she's never felt beautiful before that night and thanks me as she slowly sobs to sleep. My mind, for the first time in years felt so clear. I was ashamed how twenty four hours earlier I was, in a way, disgusted by her.

Over then next few months we grew so close, spending every minute together. I was loving it, she was my first real friend. my family and coworkers were very cruel about her physical features. Some even going as far as demanding to see her Identification. I've never forgiven them, and I never will

I watched her over the coarse of four months be denied employment by hundreds despite her impressive experience. she had about two interviews a week, but as soon as a potential employer meets her for the first time; she is denied. She was becoming depressed and discouraged because my mom had given her a six month time frame to find work, or go back home.

I decided to take her out on a date. we went out to eat, then went to the movies. on the way out, when we got to the parking lot we heard someone behind us yell "faggots!" we ignored them, this was the third time someone has yelled out something homophobic at us. The first time it happened she laughed, and thought it was funny. The second time she jokingly yelled "I have a v****a".

This time it was different, it hurt her. we drove home quiet and awkward. I remember I felt so bad for not doing something or saying something. We went home and I held her as she cried herself to sleep. For the next few weeks she seemed broken. I felt so helpless. She stopped looking for work and told me she just wanted to enjoy what little time we had left together. We never went out on a date again and she refused to hold my hand in public again.