My Diary

Chapter 05

I am trying so hard to be a better person , I am giving it my best to become the person my parents always wanted to be , so that they will be proud of me and I can be proud of myself . I know I am doing well in school , I came 4th last term and I am working to be among the top 3 this term . Even with this , my dad is not happy with my performance , I hate it when he compares me with other kids my age , he keeps on complaining that I am not trying at all and I don't know how to do things right . I know he just want me to be the best of the best but I wish that he can see all my efforts . I will admit , I did slack up a bit but I am working on myself now . Don't be mistaken , I don't like school that much .

Aside from school work , I am also working and trying to get better at writing and singing . Back then , I always thought that I didn't have any talents , I thought that I was not good at anything at all , I always believed that I couldn't do anything right . It affected my self confidence , I didn't like to try new things or participate in anything because I knew I couldn't do it and I will be laughed at . I saw myself as a useless piece of trash , I never believed that I was unique or special , they say everyone is special and have his or her own gift but I never believed , I never believed I had gifts . I was down hearted till when I began to discover myself .

It all started like a joke , I remembered when I was grade 7 , I just had this imagination , I imagined of kids my age with super powers , I came up with a story in my head and since I had nothing doing , I scribbled it down on a piece of paper . I didn't take it seriously at that time until when I was in grade 9 , and since then , I have written two stories so far , Killing Me Slowly and A Christmas To Remember (The links for these stories are provided at chapter 7) . This is just the beginning , in the nearest future , I want to write stories for screen play . I love acting too . I just recently started writing songs , I just love the idea of expressing your feelings and emotions on paper . I also love to sing too even though my voice sounds like that of a horse, I know I can get better , I will be better . I know that if I work harder and love what am I doing , I will succeed and be the best of the best ( Ariana Grande has been a big factor, she inspires me a lot ) . Check out the very first song I wrote ;

NEVER KNEW

I never knew that I will be here tonight

I never knew that I will make it this far

I never knew that I will make it to the top

I never knew

I never knew ( ooh , ooh )

Never saw it coming

Took me by suprise

A dream come true

I never knew

I never knew I will be successful

I never knew I will be this popular too

Never knew , never knew , never knew

They made me feel like I'm nothing ( ooh )

They made me feel like I'm useless ( useless )

They said I won't make it ( make it )

But look at me now , making it to the top

Just a little more time and I will be the king of pop

Who could have ever guess that the little day dreamer will be something big

Never knew , never knew , never knew

Never saw it coming

Never ever in a million years

ooh , ooh , ooh , ooh

Thank God for the grace

Fulfilled the promise I made to my mama

And for my friends , I'm so grateful

Couldn't do this without you

Made my own cash

Made a name for myself ( woah ! )

Never could imagine

Never ever in a million years

ooh , ooh , ooh , ooh

I never knew

I never knew I will be successful

I never knew I will make it to the top

I never knew that I make it this far

I never knew I will be this popular too

Took me by surprise

Never saw it coming

Never knew , never knew , never knew

ooh , ooh , ooh , ooh , ooh

( Woah ! )

Cheesy right ? I am still learning how to create a master piece .

I'm believing that all my dreams wll come true . I won't just believe , I will make them happened . I was this close to getting a Stary Writing contract for my story , Killing Me Slowly . Well , I sent all my information , filled in all the necessary details and just when I was to sign the contract , boom ! I got an email saying that it was not going to work out . Ouch ! Of course it hurts , after all the efforts I put it to ensure that it will work out , after all the faith I put in this , after all the dancing and celebrating that finally I was going to achieve something , they turned me down . Anyways , the reason was because my book didn't fill the requirement of 30,000 word count , they only accept books with 30,000 words or more . They told me to either extend the story or write a new one . Presently , I working on a new story ,' f*******n Love ' and I believe this time , I will get the contract and show everyone most especially my parents that I am not just wasting my time .