Shades of Life

His Faults

Hey guys: Just a reminder

I came across some quotes that symbolizes what I want to depict in this story at some point so I thought of adding few quotes and my thoughts describing them in my point of view. You guys can read it or skip it totally up to you. Don't forget to comment and let me know what you think.   

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“He who thinks great thoughts, often makes great errors” 

-Martin Heidegger

His great words in this quote has so much meaning to it. Big decisions come with big responsibilities is the basic agenda of this quotes. Martin Heidegger was a German Philosopher who is a respected philosopher of the 20th century. When we have a lot to lose, the decision we take should be wise. There are great thinkers who are very wise and opinionated. Often what we think is not what happens. Even sometimes a wise person can make errors in their judgement, as there is a quote ‘Nobody is perfect, we are human and epitome of imperfection’.

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Enjoy the chapter:

What the f**k is wrong with me?

I yelled at myself while throwing a hard punch to a punching bag. I was sweating like a pig wearing my comfortable black tank top and my grey sweatpants. I knew I needed my own gym when I moved to this penthouse and now I use it more than my bedroom to get my stress and frustration out.

I’m a jerk. I know this and I’ve been a jerk for a long time. I’ve yelled at many people and insulted them numerous times but that was because they deserved it. I hate incompetent people and when they don’t get the work done by procrastinating. I’m the CEO of the company not to forget youngest one there is, people have so many expectations from me. If I don’t meet their expectation, they won’t waste time in dragging my family name to mud.

My brother has already played a huge part in it. Just remembering him and his devil of a wife makes my skin crawl.

These few days have been a pain for me. That day when I got that news, I spiraled. My head started hurting so much that I had a panic attack when I got home. I took some deep breath and laid down on my bed and I don’t remember when I fell asleep. Next thing I know, my phone started ringing. I slowly got up and checked the caller. It was Aakash. He had called 4 times already. Getting up and freshening myself, I gave him a call. He was hysterical and told me to meet at Rose’s café. He knew I’m not in a good mood, I’m sure he called Carla and she gave him an update.

We usually meet at the café because the calming in their helps a lot. Whenever Aakash is sad because of his family, we usually go there and chill, it helps us take our minds off of our problems.

When I told him what happened, he freaked out. He knows what a b***h she is; he has a firsthand experience. She was very mean to him and called him so many names, just by thinking about it makes me want to hit something.

Had to calm him down but it was not easy. Next day, after team meeting I went to meet dad. I had to deliver the news to him, I don’t want him to know about this from her. She will say something that might hike up his Blood Pressure.

Delivering him that news was nerve wrecking. His response was like mine; he was stunned at first. Then he was happy that he’s getting grandbaby then it turned into suspicion just like me. He doubted her with every fiber in his body. Lastly, he realized there won’t be a way for my brother to get out of her clutches. He got upset and at his age it is not a good thing.

One thing he said struck me the most. “Our family will never get normal”, his words were like a straight arrow aimed to my heart.

Our homes light went off when my mom passed away. After my dad recovered from my mom’s death, he wanted my brother and me to find some good girls and get married. He wishes to see our family lightened up just like it did when my mom was present.

Seeing Palak crawl her way into my brother’s life didn’t sit well with him and now this, he was torn between happy and sad.

The one person who got stuck in the middle of all this is.

Akshara Vashisht.

I behaved very badly with her. I truly did and I’m disgusted by my words.

That day in the elevator, I lost my calm and threw my phone without caring if she gets hurt or not albeit I didn’t know she was inside. I was lost in my head to acknowledge her presence.

Later I was rude to her when she actually cared about me which was daring of her as usually no one talks to me when I’m that mad. I admire her guts though. Yesterday, I crossed all my limits the way I spoke to her.

Everything came around at that time okay, since she joined the company I’ve seen her more than Rose. The interactions I have had with her were not normal either, one was more amusing and weird than other one.

When I saw her in the café, for a second I thought she might be following me or something. I mean no one can have that many interactions in two weeks, can they?

When I decided to talk to her, I was on edge but after talking to her I surprisingly felt better. That night I did get a good sleep even with the tension of telling my dad the next day. But yesterday after what dad said, I was mad, angry and upset.

I had accepted this robotic life for years now, I never had a proper passion or a goal in my life. When my dad forced this business on me, I was okay with it. I have seen my dad pour his heart, sweat and blood in it. I don’t want him to work hard at this age.

When I came out of my dad’s house, I gave a call to Aakash and told him to meet me at a bar that we frequently visited. I drank my heart out, by the time I got call from Akshara I was a little sober but tipsy for sure. Aakash made me eat something after I drank my sorrows away.

When I got the call about Archie, I freaked out. Even though I don’t want to admit out loud, I’m thankful to Aarav for bringing him to my house. The loneliness that I usually felt was much better when Archie came in my life. Seeing him and playing with him gave me a sense of happiness for the second time in my life after Aakash. I guess Archie is the only one who loves me unconditionally, I had to share my dad with my brother and Aakash with his boyfriend and his family even though they are mean to him. When I got a call that Archie was in pain, it was hurtful to think something might happen to him. I felt my panic attack coming back but Aakash was there to help me.

I have never had anyone in my life except Aakash to care for me. Seeing her laughing and smiling at Rose and talking so care free with her made me jealous. My mind was a mess from past few days and she was there care free and enjoying her life. It ticked me off.

Next thing was the way she cared about Archie and Rose, I have never seen someone so kind to me and people associated to me without any ulterior motive. Guys, try to make me invest in their business or act like I’m their friend to gain popularity and new business ventures. While women, try to seduce me or are attracted to my looks and wealth. I’ve seen it first hand from the women who tried it with dad after mom passed away.

When I get to know their ulterior motive, I pay off their help and cut any ties before they form but this girl is different. The way she acts and talks, nothing seems fake. I even asked Aarav about her and all he had to say about her were great things.

She looks like a simple girl with simple thoughts. That’s the next thing that ticked me off. No one can be kind without trying to gain something, now can they?

And all this frustration came out there on the terrace. I wanted to be polite and pay the amount she paid in the hospital but there on the terrace when I saw her serene face looking so calm and care free for some reason ticked me off.

When was the last time I was satisfied with my life?

I don’t remember the day or date.

Seeing her so happy and content made me mad. I just lashed out on her and asked some stupid things indicating that she did all that with an ulterior motive. Seeing that fire in her eyes after I questioned her actions made me feel guilty right at that.

That disgusting look she threw my way at the end made me feel shameful. I don’t know what is happening to me by I’m losing my touch. I usually keep my calm and temper but surprisingly with her I find myself feeling and behaving differently.

Should I apologize to her?

Should I explain myself to her?

I’m so damn confused. I think it will be better to talk to Aakash first before I talk to her. He is sensitive with these matters and knows how to handle it. Sure he will give me hell for treating her that way because for some reason he is interested in her. Since the time he saw her in my cabin, he keeps talking about her. Even yesterday when he called to ask if we reached or not, he was thoroughly impressed by her.

I should get my mind ready for his lectured.

Wait, what if I gift her something like some jewelry as an apology?

That’s what people do right, at least that’s what I’ve gained from watching American series. They showed in several series that girls like costly jewelry and that might get them to accept the apology. But what if she thinks I’m hitting on her or something.

Or will it be inappropriate considering I’m her boss?

Arghh! Let me talk to Aakash first.

He might have some ideas.