The Silent Sorrow (GXG)

12. It's perfect

I am struggling, struggling to hide the huge, bright smile that comes across my face as I see Dandy moving towards me in the hallway at school. She watches me as softly as always as she stands in front of me. She wants to say something.

"What?" I chuckle, but she shakes her head. I don't believe her and she notices. She looks behind me with hard eyes. I turn around to see Andrea is coming towards us. When I look at Dandy again, she is walking down the hallway away from me. I sigh in disappointment.

"Jaime." My cousin says my name as if it is a curse now.

"What?" I ask annoyed as I turn to her. She snorts condescending, which I roll my eyes too. We barely talk anymore, but not that I mind. When Andrea speaks to me, she looks down at me as if I am a criminal. The only thing I did was to cross her line, and maybe some others.

"Why don't you listen to me?" She asks in frustration.

"Because I am deaf to your voice." I answer, and I mean it. She talks and talks, who wouldn't shut that out?

"Jamie, I mean it, Dandy..."

"Is not who YOU think she is." I say angrily as I point at her. Her eyes widen with fury and the next thing I know is Andrea pushes me by the shoulder.

"Hey!" I shout, surprised. Not like it is the first time we have argued. I move towards her ready to break her down, but a pull on my shirt keeps me away. I turn around angrily, and I meet hazel soft eyes. She is just staring at me, and then let me go, as she knows that I am calm enough.

"Damn you." I mutter to Dandy, and she smiles softly. Andrea stands in front of me with fire in her eyes, as she is watching Dandy. I know Dandy can see it. She sees everything and hears everything, but she is not looking at Andrea at all, just at me. Then she reaches me her hand, which means that she wants to go. I smile as I nod and we leave Andrea behind as we talk down the hallway together.

Dandy is standing next to my car, waiting for me. She does that almost every day. I move in front of her, wondering what she has in mind for today. She reaches out her hand.

"Car key?" I ask and she nods. I look through my pocket and hand it over to her.

"Are we going to play paintball, because I don't think that is a goo..." I stop as she shakes her head. It's been a month since I shot her in the stomach, and there is still a mark on her. I don't think it will ever fade.

"What are we going to do then?" I smile, but she just shakes the car key.

"A trip?" I ask, and she nods a little unsure. Not fully a trip then. She steps into the driver seat and I sit down in the passenger seat.

Dandy brought us to the mall and I am following her. Unsure where we are going, but then I see it and I have to smile as I stop. Dandy turns to me, and she smile as she sees the one on my face.

"We are going to buy some paintball equipment?" I ask and she nods.

"I think we need to. I mean." I point at her stomach, but then takes my hand in hers and drag me after her. She leads me in the store and to the guns. There are some that look like the ones Dandy has, but she points at the smaller ones.

"You want me to have one that I can manage to carry?" I ask and she nods as she moves her hand over all of the small ones with different colors.

"But I don't have the money for it." I say, but she points at herself.

"Dandy, no. You can't..." She put her hand over my mouth, and I roll my eyes. She watches me begging, which gives me no choice.

"Fine." I agree as I take her hand off me. I study them, looking for the right color. Most of them are black, but there is also light green, red and purple. There is even one in pink, but I point at the one in silver and light blue. Dandy watch me confused.

"I know, it's not a good idea to have that color, but I like it." I smile as I watch it. It reminds me of Dandy. So, it was not hard to pick which one I wanted. Dandy shrugs as she takes it and then leads me to the boxes with paintballs.

"Can I pick which color?" I ask excited and she nods. I look through all of the boxes to see. There are orange and yellow as Andrew, Johanna and Dandy use, but I want someone that marks it as me. I smile as I find blue ones.

"Those." I smile as I meet Dandy's eyes and she stops next to me, and nods.

Dandy drove us to the paintball field because I begged her to drive us there to test my paintball gun. We are in October now, and it's getting cold, but Dandy lent me her jacket. She is standing behind the car, taking on the tank for the air and the beholder for my blue paintballs. I feel like a little kid where I am standing next to her. It's just that I am so excited, to use one that is easier, lighter, and with the most amazing colors.

Dandy smiles as she hands it over to me, and I grin but laugh as Dandy hides behind me.

"I am not going to shoot you this time, I promise." I chuckle and she ends up next to me. I find the safety and turn it off. Then aim at the same wall that I fired my first shot. I push the trigger five times and the wall is now not just, orange and yellow, but also light blue.

"It's perfect." I smile to Dandy, who is staring at me.

"You want to try?" I ask and she smiles as she nods. She takes the gun and shoots much faster than I did. I chuckle as I shake my head of her. She raises her eyebrow confused as she takes on the safety.

"I hope I will beat you one day, where you don't just let me." I tell and she put the gun in the trunk. Then she steps right in front of me so close that I have to look up to meet her eyes. I close my own as I feel her hand on my cheek so gentle, and she brushes my hair behind my ear. I shiver as the cold wind strikes us and I look into Dandy's caring eyes. It all seems odd to me. That I am the only one at my school that doesn't fear her.

"Why are they scared of you?" I ask her, and it makes her take a step back as she clenches her teeth. Her eyes are not soft anymore, but full of pain. She opens her mouth, but not because she is going to talk. Dandy is struggling how to react to my question. Sorrow and sadness is everything I can see, and it scares me.

"It's okay," I cup her cheeks.

"You don't have to tell me." I promise her, but she still struggles as she nods.

"Let's go, before it gets dark." I smile and she nods as she hands me the key to my car. We pack the things and start driving.