The Silent Sorrow (GXG)

13. I think it was my fault

Dandy has been very quiet since I asked her about why the others at our school are scared of her. Well, she is always quiet, but Dandy's silence is when she isn't smiling and not concentrating. Most of all she has that awful pain in her eyes and every time she is lost in her thoughts. She rubs her right shoulder a lot. Like she is doing right now as she is staring at the TV. Not really seeing what is on there.

I get out of the couch, stepping into the kitchen where Dandy's mother is. She is sitting on the chair reading a book. Jodie smiles as she sees me and put the book down on the table when I sit down in front of her.

"Dandy can be lost in her thoughts sometimes." She tells me, I guess Jodie saw the worry on my face.

"I think it was my fault." I say sorry, but Jodie shakes her head.

"No," I argue.

"I asked her why those at school fear her, and that triggered something." I explain here. She watches me confused, not sure what I am talking about.

"They are scared of her?" She asks surprised.

"Yeah, they fear her, which makes them hate her." I tell Dandy's mother because it seems like Jodie didn't know anything about it. That must be worrying. She watches me shocked.

"I don't see a reason for them to be afraid of Dandy." She says amazed as she shakes her head.

"I know. Dandy is amazing in everything." I smile to the older women.

"W-why are they treating her so bad?" She wondered, hurt by it all and I can empathize because it is painful to know that they all say horrible things about someone that is so wonderful as her.

"They say that she made this girl end up in the hospital, and she never came back." I struggle to say and swallow hard. Jodie watches me with her mouth dropped open and her gaze stuck on the table in shock.

"Jodie?" I say worried as she has been sitting like this for a while. Her mouth is moving, but no words come out.

"T-that is not quite true." Her gaze is as lost as Dandy is sometimes.

"Quite true?" I repeat confused. What is true? Did she make a girl end up in the hospital? Most of all what happened to that girl? But it doesn't add up. Dandy may look like a fighter, but she doesn't act like one.

She is very calm and full of discipline. The sound of footsteps makes me turn and I meet Dandy's painful eyes, which I have seen for over a week now. She stares at me for a while, with clenched teeth. There is something awful on her mind, but I have a feeling she seems guilty for not telling me what it is.

Dandy reach out her hand. I smile as I stand up and I follow her up to her bedroom. She sits down on the bed, watching me as I move down next to her. Dandy closes her eyes hard and then open them, looking down.

"Dandy?" I say worried, and she watches me with tired eyes. She has looked exhausted for a while now, and it is not hard to see. Dandy even struggles when we play paintball. She doesn't run that much and she loses more often than she used to. I feel sorry for her, for whatever is on her mind.

I move further into the bed, then I drag her by the shirt. She lay down next to me, looking into my eyes. I cup her cheek as I see guilty in her eyes, but she surprises me with moving down and bury her cheek on my chest. Holding onto me tightly, in silence. I stroke her neck, like she did to me when we were lying in that tent. It comforted me, and if that made me calm down, it might work for her as well.

We just lie like this, Dandy clinging to me, and I am brushing my fingers lightly on her skin. Her hold on my back lightens, which means she has drifted to sleep. Dandy really needs it, because it seems like hasn't slept for days.

I have no idea what is going on around here. My ignorance is driving me insane. Can it really harm if I get to know what is making Dandy so lost in her head. Her mother said it was not really true those rumors.

Now I am just wondering what the lie is and what the truth is. Dandy knows that I wish to know, and I can see her battle. She seems guilty for not telling me, but she can't. Maybe she will tell me someday, but most of all. That she will actually say something to me. I have been looking forward to hearing a word from of her, since day one. But I can wait.