Only Four Desire

Chapter 7

Roxie stood frozen in front of an old rusty gate she was too familiar with. Her feet felt rooted to the spot as she wrestled with the urge to turn around and leave before anyone registered her presence. Her muscles twitched, ready to do just that, even as she ran over all the possible outcomes of this visit in her head.

How bad could it be? She hadn’t seen or spoken to Zinnia in over a year, even though the woman had practically been her best friend since they were teenagers and had even been Roxie’s maid of honor when she married Elias.

They’d been close, and then Elias happened, and Roxie hadn’t been sure she still had a friend until she’d picked up her new phone and called Zinnia, half expecting the woman to hang up on her and block her number.

To her surprise, her friend had been excited to hear from her and immediately asked her to come for a visit. That had been a relief, and on the walk over, Roxie had convinced herself she could do it, but now that she stood in front of her friend’s gate, she wasn’t so sure.

Just then, her phone vibrated. Startled, she pulled it out and had to shield the screen against the sun’s glare in order to read what happened to be a text from Benjamin the traitor.

Benjamin: Stop standing there like a creep and knock already.

Jaw clenched, she turned just in time to see Benjamin the traitor disappear around a corner.

Roxie: I don’t talk to brothers who abandon me.

Benjamin’s laughter reached her ears seconds later, even though he was gone. Huffing, Roxie shoved the phone back in her pocket and then went back to staring at the rusty old metallic gate.

Roxie rubbed at her sweaty arms, the feeling of ants under her skin growing with her anxiety. Well, she’d already gotten this far; she might as well finish this, she thought. It also wouldn’t hurt to get out of the sun that seemed determined to punish her for every second she hesitated.

“Just do it,” she muttered under her breath and finally lifted her hand to knock. To her surprise, though, the instant her knuckles touched the heated surface, the gate opened with a loud creak announcing its rusty hinges to the entire neighborhood, and on the other side stood Zinnia.

Her heart beating faster than she would have liked, Roxie took in her childhood friend. Even though she hadn’t seen the woman in over a year, it seemed Zinnia hadn’t changed much. She still wore her black hair short in a bob that fell to her chin, framing her round face.

Dressed in her usual style of dresses made in brightly colored African chitenge that complemented her darker skin, her friend looked so put together that it immediately made Roxie feel self-conscious of her simple jeans and old tee.

“I was beginning to think you wouldn’t knock,” Zinnia said after the silence had stretched for a while. She didn’t smile, instead giving Roxie a concerned look.

Roxie rubbed the back of her neck, embarrassed to have been caught. But before she could come up with something to say that wouldn’t make her look even more ridiculous, Zinnia closed the distance and hugged her.

Ten minutes later, Roxie was seated in a small, simple living room while her friend fetched her a cool drink to chase away the heat.

“I can’t believe you haven’t moved from this place,” Roxie said, looking around at the worn couches and old family photos that adorned the walls. “Everything is still the same as the last time I saw this place.

Zinnia walked in carrying a glass with ice cubes and a lemon wedge in one hand and a bottle of Sprite in the other. She set everything down on the coffee table in front of Roxie before going back to the kitchen and returning with a bowl of biscuits and a Fanta for herself.

Settling into the couch next to Roxie, Zinnia shrugged a single shoulder. “I’m not a big fan of changes.”

Roxie hummed in agreement, remembering this fact about her friend. Zinnia hated any big changes with the same passion that Margaret hated deviations from traditions. Suddenly, Roxie wasn’t sure telling her friend about the divorce was a good idea.

While Zinnia probably wouldn’t condemn her for the failure, there was still the possibility that her friend would turn into another disapproving voice, and that was the last thing she needed. Besides, what right did she have to expect support from a friend she’d practically ghosted for over a year without an explanation? None.

The idea of simply enjoying her drink and biscuits while they talked about nothing important held more appeal. She would simply visit for an hour and then go back to her son. Yeah, that was a good plan. Unfortunately for Roxie, though, Zinnia still had a knack her reading her and could already tell something was off.

She leaned forward, her brows furrowed into a frown. “Roxie, is everything alright?”

“Of course. Everything is fine,” Roxie said with a forced smile that Zinnia clearly didn’t buy.

Still frowning, the woman leaned back. “Does this have something to do with your husband?” she asked. There was a certain hardness to her tone, but Roxie thought she imagined it.

Roxie took a sip of her drink, hoping to buy herself a second. She barely registered the fizzy bubbles on her tongue or the relief of the cool drink down her throat. Looking up, she saw that her friend was waiting for a response and knew lies wouldn’t do here. Especially not when she wished to build back the friendship she’d nearly lost.

“I’m no longer married,” she announced and then took a larger gulp of her drink, almost wishing it were something stronger.

Silence followed her revelation. Taking a deep breath, Roxie braced herself for the usual questions and maybe some judgment. Instead, what she got was another tight hug that left her feeling more shocked, especially when she tried to make sense of the words that left her friend’s lips.

“Oh! Thank God.”

“Wait. What?” Confused, Roxie pulled back and looked at her friend. To say that she hadn’t been expecting that was an understatement. “What do you mean, thank God?”

Zinnia grimaced. “I didn’t mean it how it came out.”

“I don’t think there are many ways you could mean ‘Oh, thank God’, Zinnia. What do you know?”

Refusing to meet her gaze, Zinnia pulled back and picked up her drink. “The same thing you know, I would guess, since you finally left the man. Unless…” She turned worried eyes on Roxie. “Did he leave you? Are you… Like, sad about the whole thing?” she sounded worried just asking the question as though that would be the worst thing Roxie could do.

Roxie shook her head. “I filed for the divorce.”

Zinnia nodded in approval. “Excellent.”

“Is it?” Roxie asked, starting to wonder what her friend knew and how long she’d known it. But more importantly, why hadn’t she said anything?

Nodding again, Zinnia actually smiled, seemingly pleased with this development. “It is. And don’t worry about it. You can make it on your own. You don’t need that man. Oh. Where is Josiah? Did you get to keep him?” she suddenly asked, concern back in her voice.

Roxie studied her friend. “His home with my parents. That’s where we are staying. We got shared custody.”

Zinnia winced, and Roxie wasn’t sure which part had elicited the reaction from her friend. Of course, having known each other for so long, Zinnia knew about Roxie’s strained relationship with Margaret, so it could have been the realization of Roxie’s current living conditions.

“You need a job,” Zinnia suddenly announced, a determined look in her eyes.

“I’m looking,” Roxie said, the words sounding tired even to her ears.

Zinnia waved a dismissive hand in the air. “No. No. Forget looking. I will hire you.”

Well, damn. Roxie hadn’t been expecting that. The truth was she needed a job and hadn’t had any luck so far. Part of her didn’t even care what job Zinnia had in mind. She would take anything as long as it got her out of her current living situation. Still, a voice at the back of her mind wondered at her friend’s reaction and sudden offer. What was she missing?