Party of Four

Shifting Gears - Nica

The smell of the leather and the shine of green paint felt like victory. It wasn’t my Bug. But I was happy. I could see myself driving around with a baby carrier in the backseat and a stroller in the trunk. I could see myself carrying in groceries from the Mini. I had found a way to be responsible without losing a part of myself. Trading the Beetle in for the Countryman felt like the natural next-step in the path that I was on.

Even after I shut off the engine, I lingered in the car a little longer. Riley came around and opened my door, smiling at me. The returned smile was a natural reflex as this point. I hadn’t necessarily intended for him to do such, but he had anyways. I unclipped my seat belt and got out, locking the new car behind us as I took his hand.

I could smell the garlic and marinara before we even opened the doors. Layla was beaming at us from the host stand, her blue eyes shining brightly. We exchanged greetings and she asked, “Did you get a new car?”

I nodded, “Did you see us in the parking lot?”

She shook her head, “Cole said you were car shopping today.” She came around the host stand to look out the window, her blonde hair falling over her shoulder. “Which one is it?”

“The Mini!” I couldn’t contain my excitement.”

“Oh my God, how cute.”

Our attention was drawn from the window as Cole entered the lobby, phone in hand. “Y’all really want to eat here?” he asked.

“Nica has her heart set on an eggplant parm,” Riley nodded.

“As long as she doesn’t put hot sauce on it,” Cole said and it felt like a challenge. I scowled.

“Oh, y’all are eating?” Layla asked, immediately shifting back into host mode. She picked up two rolls of silverware, her hand resting on the edge of the basket. “Are you off?” she asked Cole.

He nodded and she picked up a third, along with the menus.

She turned the tablet towards her so she could see the current floor plan and rotation. “Who do you want?”

“Who do you have?” I stepped forward, looking at the who’s who on the clipboard while she started listing people who hadn’t been cut yet. “Mack’s serving?” I asked, my eyes shifting between the paper and the tablet as if I needed the double confirmation.

Layla nodded.

“Aw, yay,” Riley smiled. “Let’s sit with muffin.”

Layla marked the table and led us into the dining room.

Almost immediately, Mackenzie was there to take our drink orders. Riley’s phone went off before she was done, and he glanced down to see a text from his mom. Gwen had sent him a picture of the baby shower favors she’d just picked up. “Mom said the cake’s confirmed and she has everything for Saturday,” he told us, showing us the picture. The favors were tiny terracotta pots with a succulent in each one. A round, metallic silver sticker was stuck to each one reading, “Watch me grow, just like Poppy!”

“Oh, those are so cute,” Mackenzie cooed and I nodded my agreement.

“She said Mallory helped her.”

I nodded again, grinning, “Mallory is the plant queen.”

“Do you know what you want too?” Mackenzie asked, noticing our menus had been untouched the whole time we’d been sitting.

Riley nodded, keeping it simple, “Spaghetti with marinara.”

Mackenzie turned to me, “Eggplant parm?”

“Yeah, but could you ask Nate if be can sub the sauce for the Calabrian?” I asked, batting my lashes playfully and giving her my best puppy eyes.

She laughed, “I’ll see what I can do. Cole?”

He shook his head, “I’ve been here all day, the last thing I’m doing is eating here.”

A few minutes later, she returned with our drinks, a salad, and breadsticks. Garrett walked up behind her and slid into the booth next to Cole, facing me and Riley. “You didn’t ask for me,” his face was flat, his tone accusatory, but I could see the humor in his eyes.

“I didn’t see your name on the list.”

“Because I picked up. Eli didn’t change the name on the paper.”

I shrugged, taking on a dramatically apologetic expression, “That’s not my fault.”

He sighed, heavy and dramatic as he shook his head. “I thought we were friends.”

Cole chuckled, patting Garrett’s shoulder, “Poor baby.”

“You want a breadstick?” I offered, teasing.

“No,” he shook his head. “Layla said you got a new car.” Garrett’s tone shifted from playful accusation to genuine curiosity.

“I did,” I beamed. “It’s a dark green Mini Cooper Countryman.”

“The Bug gave up?”

“No, she just needed an upgrade for Poppy,” Riley answered for me, his chest puffing out slightly, showing his pride.

“How many car seats can you fit in a Mini?” Garrett asked, teasing again.

“Enough for one!” I countered, eyes wide, but there was laughter in my voice. “It’s actually pretty roomy.”

Garrett leaned back against the booth cushion. “I only ask because my sister just traded in her sedan for a minivan and she cried about it for two weeks. It was brutal.”

I felt the smile slide off my face, the light left my eyes. A minivan. The thought felt heavy, practical, and completely devoid of the personality I had just fought to maintain.

“It’s the worst, isn’t it?” Garrett continued, oblivious to my paralysis. “Giving up the fun car for the parent car. That’s when it gets real.”

My eggplant parm arrived, smelling divine. However, the sudden, sharp spike of anxiety had killed my appetite. Mackenzie had gotten Nate to make the sauce substitution, but I barely registered it.

“You okay?” Riley’s voice was low. He instantly picked up on my withdrawal, and Cole tensed on the other side of the table, leaning forward slightly, forearms on the surface.

I nodded, then shook my head, feeling a ridiculous sting behind my eyes. I cleared my throat, then whispered, “The shower is Saturday…this is happening fast.”

“It’s just a party,” Cole said softly, his hand covering mine. His fingers brushed my knuckles lightly. “It’s just a celebration. You show up and eat cake.”

“But what if I’m not ready to be the reason for the celebration?” The words tumbled out, laced with a fear I hadn’t let myself acknowledge before now. “What if I get all those things and then I turn out to be a terrible mother? What if I fail?”

Garrett, to his credit, went silent. His humor was replaced with instant seriousness.

Cole’s thumb rubbed a circle against the back of my hand. “Hey, look at me,” he commanded softly. I met his eyes, the green mixed with the amber in the dim light, but they were filled with calm certainty. “You traded the Beetle for a car that will keep our daughter safe. You walked away from a life that made you small. For some reason, you decided two chaotic brothers were deserving of your love and attention. And I’ve seen you run the entire kitchen when Eli’s not around like it’s nothing. You are the most capable, prepared, and brilliant person I know. You got a practical car that still has flair because you found a way to compromise. You find a way to make everything work, Nica. Especially us.”

Riley shifted, and he gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze. “He’s right. What’s your dad say?”

“Prepare for the worst and hope for the best,” I breathed.

“And trading in your car was the worst, right?” Cole asked.

I nodded.

“So you’re prepared,” he finished. “Now we do the fun part. Hope for the best. And we’re doing it with you.”

“And if the baby comes during the party, we have the Mini. It’s got a great safety rating,” Riley adds, grinning.

My eyes went wide, my fear still taking root but in a different way. “That’s still way too soon.”

“What a bunch of saps,” Garrett grinned, sending me relief for the moment. I smirked while Cole and Riley scowled at him. “Well, I’ve gotta get back to work,” Garrett stated as he slid back out of the booth.

As Garrett walked away, Cole and Riley both turned their attention back to me, making sure I was truly okay.

“I’m good,” I reassured them genuinely, picking my fork up and turning my attention back to the eggplant. “It just hit me all at once.”

“I get it,” Riley said, his free hand dropping to my knee and squeezing lightly while he twirled noodles on his fork. “We’re right here though. We still have a week until the party. Then we get to put the final touches on the nursery.”

The anxiety was replaced by a firm, practical resolve. The fear was still there, but it was background noise now. I had a new car, a healthy baby, and two men who saw my independence as strength.

By the time we’d finished our lunch, and the three of us stepped out into the parking lot, the Countryman sparkled. I unlocked it and slid into the driver’s seat. Cole called shotgun, and Riley conceded, if only because the car was new and Riley had rode beside me on the way here. I was ready for the drive home, ready for the shower, and ready for whatever else was ahead of me. The car felt like me, and this life, shared with them, felt like home.