Party of Four

Anxious Thinking and Biological Impossibilities

As the sun started to set, the chill picked up and we moved inside. Nica shut and locked the patio door behind us and closed the blinds. Inside, we resumed our cuddling, tangling Nica in a mass of limbs. I knew she and Riley wanted to just appreciate the good news, to just be happy and not think about the logistics of everything. So I kept my mouth shut, but my mind raced, compiling a list of questions and concerns we were going to have to face.

Riley sat crooked on the couch so that Nica could lay against his chest. His arm rested on the back of the couch. Nica had pulled me into her, my head on her chest and her arms around me with her legs draped across my lap. My hand rested on her hip. Riley held the remote, flipping through the movies on Netflix to try and settle on something to watch.

Her heartbeat was calm and steady, and I couldn’t help thinking about the fact that there was another little heartbeat growing inside of her. It all started to make sense. How tired she’d been the last couple of months, her nausea. She hadn’t quite been herself…not since Ronnie’s party. She’d been tired and nauseous then, she had told Riley she wasn’t wearing a bra because “everything was sore and achy.” She hadn’t wanted wings, and she loved wings. When she threw up on the beach that night, I had assumed it was stress from the bar fight on top of her being sick. It never crossed my mind that she was pregnant.

My hand slid from her hip to her stomach, a subconscious gesture, as I wondered how long ago this happened. She moved one of her hands to cover mine, humming softly. “I’ve heard Talk to Me is good,” Riley suggested, temporarily interrupting my thoughts.

“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to watch it. My dad said it was great,” Nica agreed.

He pressed play and we slipped into silence again.

My thoughts shifted back to the pregnancy. I couldn’t think of a single day that Nica wasn’t intimate with both of us. Even if we didn’t have a threesome, she still would often end up having s*x with both of us in the same day. Without a paternity test, it was impossible to know which of us had actually gotten her pregnant. And quite frankly, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.

What if knowing created tension and jealousy? We had been doing such a good job trusting each other and being open. What if knowing the paternity changed things? What if the biological father started to think he was more important? What if Nica started to show more attention to one over the other?

I shifted my head slightly, glancing at her and Riley through my peripheral. I couldn’t help wondering if either of them were having similar thoughts.

The first jump scare of the movie caught me off guard. I had been so deep in my spiral that I wasn’t paying attention, and the sight of the ghost caused me to flinch. Riley made a weak effort to stifle a laugh while Nica ran a hand through my hair.

I tried to focus more on the movie after that. It was hard though, especially with Nica’s ever-increasing heart rate hammering away in my ear. “Are you sure horror movies are a good idea? You know, considering…” I whispered.

“Sweetie, the baby is barely the size of a pea,” she whispered back, eyes still fixed on the TV as she pet my hair again. “The movie isn’t going to hurt anything.”

“Cole, shut up and watch the movie,” Riley hissed, his eyes never leaving the screen.

I tried to keep my focus on what was happening in the movie, but my thoughts continued to wander from one baby-related topic to another. Nica drew circles on my back with her fingertips.

I started to shift restlessly, unable to get comfortable. What if I was squishing her? I weighed a good fifty pounds more than her, if not more. What if I was squishing the baby?

Riley, clearly distracted and irritated by my movement, thumped me on the back of my head as I tried to reposition myself. I immediately reached back to rub the spot, scowling at him. I tried not to acknowledge him as I asked Nica, “Are you comfortable?”

“Yes,” she nodded.

“Are you sure?” I asked, pushing myself up so I could look at her fully.

She sat up straight, no longer lying on Riley as she wrapped her arms around my neck. “Yes,” she reassured me, even though she was no longer in that position anyways. Nica pressed her lips to mine, a gentle kiss at first. Chaste, yet prolonged. She broke the kiss, leaning her forehead against mine. “I promise I’ll tell you if I’m not.”

“Okay,” I swallowed, trying to swallow my anxiety with it.

She pulled me down with her as she lay back on Riley again. Now my head was fully on her chest. I couldn’t help noticing she was once again not wearing a bra. Her breasts felt firmer, even through her sweater. I couldn’t understand how I hadn’t noticed sooner, unless I’d just subconsciously written it off due to her feeling unwell. There had been quite a few nights lately where all we did was cuddle and kiss because Nica didn’t feel up for much else.

“You’re sure I’m not…” I started quietly, but stopped when Nica pushed me back up into a sitting position again.

In one quick move, she was straddling my lap. Her forearms rested on my shoulders. Beside us, Riley perked up, no longer watching the movie. “Is this better?” Nica purred, her voice low.

All I could do was nod, my lips parted. I was hyper aware of the heat growing between us. I almost felt ashamed of the fact that her suddenly taking charge had turned me on. She was pregnant and hadn’t been feeling well. s*x should’ve been the last thing I was thinking about.

“Good,” she smirked.

I swallowed, closing my mouth as I tried to will my heart beat to slow down again.

She leaned in to kiss me, her tongue tracing the seam of my lips. I opened my mouth to her and her hips grinded against me. I groaned against her lips as her tongue wrapped around mine.

Her hands traveled into my hair as she rolled her hips again. My hands found her waist. I was almost starting to forget what I had been so worried about before.

“Nica…” I breathed her name when the kiss ended, concern tinting it.

“I swear to God, if you think I can’t have s*x because I’m pregnant, I’ll make sure you don’t get any after the baby is born.”

“I’m all yours,” I returned, letting go of my worries. At least for now. She was right. She wasn’t fragile, and a little morning sickness and physical changes didn’t change who she was. I had to trust her to know what she could handle and tell me when she couldn’t.

“Good.” She leaned in and kissed me again. I opened my mouth to her probing tongue with no hesitation. My hands moved to slide under her thighs. Riley was caught between watching the movie and watching us.

Her hips rolled against mine again, and she broke the kiss to pull her sweater off. Even though I already knew she wasn’t wearing a bra, it still caught me off guard. I heard Riley’s breath hitch as he struggled even more to keep his focus on the movie.

She caught my lips in another kiss, and my hands slid up over her ass, squeezing it. I was finally fully in the moment. Whatever worries I had before could wait until morning. Making sure Nica was happy and felt loved was the only thing that mattered right now.

When she broke the kiss again, it was to beckon Riley over with a curled finger. He closed the gap between us and she slid a hand into his hair as she pulled him into a kiss. Her hips rocked against mine and I tilted my head back, closing my eyes to suppress another groan.

I heard her own muffled moan and opened my eyes. Riley had one hand on her back, the other cupping her breast as he rubbed circles over her n****e with his thumb. “They’ve been very sensitive lately,” she murmured when their kiss broke.

He smirked, “Is that so?”

Nica nodded.

Riley leaned in and captured a n****e in his mouth. I followed suit, teasing the sensitive bud with the tip of my tongue. Her hand tightened in my hair, and I assumed the other did the same in Riley’s.

I let my hands travel further up her backside, my thumbs hooking into the waistband of her leggings. She rolled her hips again, and I found the lace edge of her panties too, sliding them both down together. With Nica straddling my lap, I couldn’t get either piece of clothing further than mid-thigh, but I didn’t need to get them any lower right now anyways. I slid a hand between her legs and she sucked in a breath as I rubbed my palm against her, giving her something else to grind against.

Her hips bucked against my hand and I lightly grazed her n****e with my teeth. “Cole…” Nica whimpered, her head tilting back as she continued to hold Riley and me to her chest. I circled her c**t with my finger, eliciting small moans from her, and was unable to help the satisfied smirk that formed against her breast.

She rocked against my hand.

There was a part of me that wanted to ask for patience, but she’d already taken charge of the situation. She knew what she wanted, and she was determined to have it. Besides, my only focus tonight was on making her happy.

I started slow, sliding one finger into her as I ground the heel of my palm against her c**t.

She bucked against my hand and I slid a second finger into her, slowly increasing my pace as I thrust them in and out. My other hand rested on her back, helping to hold her upright as her hips continued to move, riding my hand.

Riley’s mouth left her breast, trailing kisses over her collarbone and shoulder as he worked his way to her neck. His hand replaced his mouth on her breast, fingers continuing to work her hardened n****e. I curled my fingers inside her, increasing the pace of my thrusts again. Nica’s head tilted back as another moan escaped her.

I continued to tease her n****e with tongue and teeth, kissing, licking, and sucking on it. Riley planted more kisses along her neck, as his hand slid slowly down her stomach. Her hips bucked wildly against my hand. His fingers slid between my palm and her c**t with ease, applying more direct pressure to the sensitive bundle.

Her breathing quickened, her head still tilted back, lost in ecstasy as her moans grew louder. I pressed my palm against Riley’s hand, adding to the pressure on her c**t. Her muscles started to tighten around my fingers, but I kept going, even as her movements became erratic and jerky.

Riley ran his tongue along the side of her neck, up to the spot just behind her ear lobe. Then he kissed back down to where her neck and shoulder met. The one spot we knew guaranteed Nica would come undone. His teeth sank into her sensitive flesh and she cried out in pleasure. Her hips moved even more wildly than before. I moved the hand that was on her back to her hip, and Riley seemed to get the same idea, helping me hold her in place with his free hand as we continued our ministrations on her p***y.

We didn’t stop until she was panting, her body slumping against us as she came back down from her orgasm.

We withdrew our hands, and I helped her adjust her panties and leggings while Riley retrieved her sweater from the floor. Once she was fully dressed again, Nica shifted to sit in my lap this time, her legs draped over Riley. I rested my hand on her stomach while my other arm wrapped around her shoulders. We had missed a good chunk of the movie, but neither of them seemed inclined to rewind it.

Eventually we climbed the stairs leading up to Nica’s bedroom. She was nestled in between us, and her and Riley both fell asleep almost as quickly as we laid down. My thoughts started to drift back into the realm of pregnancy. The thoughts started off sweetly enough, excitement over the idea of becoming a dad. Wondering already if the baby would be a girl or a boy, what we might name them.

Nica’s sleep became restless though, and as she tossed and turned, so did my thoughts. I tried to ignore them, focusing on her instead. I pulled her body against me, my arm snaking around her waist as I pressed a kiss to her shoulder blade. She stilled for a moment. My thoughts returned. How would we handle people at work knowing? Eventually she wouldn’t be able to hide that she was pregnant. Should we just rip the bandaid off now?

Even if we didn’t tell everyone there the details of our unconventional relationship, there were still people there we were close to that I didn’t want to blatantly lie to. Hiding the relationship was one thing, completely lying about it and Nica’s pregnancy was another.

And what about our living arrangement? Nica had just moved into Magnolia Pointe a few months ago, her lease wouldn’t be up until the summer, but it definitely wasn’t big enough for her and a baby…let alone us. Our house wasn’t really big enough for her and a baby either. Neither of our bedrooms were big enough to house all three of us.

Despite the fact that I had struggled to fall asleep, I was the first one awake. Nica’s restlessness had continued through the night. I’d fallen asleep with her back against me and my arm around her waist, only to wake up with her lying on her stomach with her leg draped across mine while she used Riley’s arm as a pillow. It seemed as if no matter how she fell asleep, she unconsciously sought out both of us.

Carefully, I got out of bed, not wanting to wake either of them. Downstairs, I went through Nica’s fridge and cabinets so I could make breakfast and start the coffee. I didn’t have much experience being around pregnant people, but I knew certain smells could trigger morning sickness, so I decided on pancakes over eggs and started mixing the batter.

It didn’t take long before I heard her and Riley moving around above me. Their voices crept down the stairs, soft and quiet.

“Pancakes?” Riley asked, trailing behind Nica as they entered the kitchen.

“Yeah.”

Nica’s footsteps were barely noticeable as she padded across the hard floor, her hands resting on my hips. I turned to greet her with a kiss, while the pan sizzled in front of me. “Good morning,” she murmured with a smile while Riley poured coffee.

“Morning,” I smiled back.

Riley approached her with a mug, her coffee already fixed just the way she liked it. She thanked him as she took it. She slowly moved towards the table, sipping from it before setting it down.

They set the table while I cooked, and took their seats, quietly waiting. Mornings often were quiet, even without the news of pregnancy hanging in the air still. Neither of them were particularly morning people, taking their time to adjust to being awake before either of them were ready for conversation.

A comfortable silence settled over us while we ate. I felt like there were hundreds of questions and things to figure out, but was giving them time before making them have to deal with my anxiety. Afterwards, Riley insisted on loading the dishwasher, telling Nica not to worry about it. Of course, she insisted she wasn’t an invalid and could still help clean up.

I slipped through the patio door to smoke, walking down close to water’s edge to light my cigarette. I didn’t want the smoke to drift into the apartment, and hoped that down by the pond I would be far enough away for the smell to not bother Nica. This also gave me time to consider how I would start the conversation they wanted to avoid last night, and what exactly I wanted to ask.

The pond sat low beneath the sidewalk and buildings that surrounded it, likely a design feature to prevent flooding during storms. This also meant that I didn’t notice at first when Nica and Riley stepped out onto the patio. When I turned to climb back up the hill to her apartment, I spotted Riley sitting on the futon, his legs crossed under him while Nica watered her plants.

“I know we said we were just going to be happy last night,” I started as I took a seat next to Riley. “But I have questions…things we’re going to have to figure out sooner or later.”

I was anticipating Nica to say something along the lines of taking things day-by-day, just like she had after our first night together. Instead, she put her watering can down and sat next to me. “Okay.”

“How are we going to…” I started, then trailed off, recollecting my thoughts. “Are we going to find out who the father is?” This was the one that concerned me the most. This was the one that could change our whole dynamic. I had to just rip the bandaid off, everything would be easy afterwards.

“We’re the father,” Riley answered bluntly.

“I don’t think…” Nica started, then stopped.

Riley continued, very matter-of-fact, “We’ve both been dating you. We both sleep with you. And at the end of the day, the baby will share DNA with both of us, it doesn’t really matter who gave the baby the DNA. The only reason we would need to know biological paternity would be to get the government involved, so I don’t see the point. I don’t need or want to know.”

I sighed, my shoulders relaxed. I didn’t realize just how much tension I had been carrying since Nica broke the news, and Riley had just lifted so much weight off me.

“Are you both okay with that?” he added, arching an eyebrow as he looked between us.

Nica nodded, a happy smile spreading across her lips.

The baby was ours. We did everything together already, even dating the same woman. It just made sense that we would share fatherhood too. “Yeah,” I agreed, nodding too. “I thought the same thing. I just…” was scared they wouldn’t.

“Needed to hear someone else say it?” Nica offered.

I nodded again, sliding my glasses back up my nose.

“What about telling people? Our families? Work?” I continued.

“Well, family should be easy enough. At least mostly. My mom’s family doesn’t really understand our relationship, so I don’t expect much excitement out of them. My dad will be happy for us though. Your parents too, I think. They’ve been so supportive of us already,” Nica answered part of the question. It made sense enough.

“Who cares about work,” Riley continued, addressing the other half of my concern. We can tell Eli, and Willow already knows about us, she probably already knows about the pregnancy.”

Nica blushed, confirming Riley’s suspicions. “She bought the test.”

“We can tell our close friends, anyone else at work will find out when they find out, and who cares what they think.”

“Okay,” I nodded, feeling more tension ease with each concern addressed. “What about…living arrangements?” This was the hardest one for me to put into words. Neither place was sufficient for our needs. Regardless though, would Nica even want to live with us?

“Well…I’m here at least until July. So we have six months to figure out what I’m going to do. I can always resign and just move into a bigger apartment.”

A bigger apartment wasn’t necessarily moving in with us though. Granted, we could sell and move in with her, if she wanted.

“We could also sell and get a bigger house,” Riley suggested, almost as if he was reading my mind. “Either way, we have some time. Not everything has to be figured out right away.”

“Right,” I nodded, most of my anxiety eased. At least for now. The only downside I saw at the moment was that potentially selling our house meant not being next door to our parents anymore. I felt a small pain at the thought.