How Deep is Your Love?

33 - Natalie

"Do you really have to keep rolling your eyes like that?“ I asked and chuckled at Brian and just got his deadly glare in return. Annoyed by my teasing, his frown deepened the more we walked along the pavements. We went out after deciding to be friends since he told me that he'd accompany me to continue touring the city. And so I've asked him to call his assistant and take the car because we will be commuting. He initially disagreed but I told him that this is a proof of the offer of his friendship, to let me enjoy the city the way I want to.

"So we actually have a car to use and we can drive from place to place to visit the spots you want to see. Why are we walking instead of driving?" He asked with his brows raised, a pout visible in his lips.

“It's a very good form of exercise, don't you think?“ I replied and chuckled again which made him roll his eyes and shook his head. I just didn't mind him and continued,"The air is fresh and walking is good for you to relax. You've been so busy about work for the past few days and you even got fever because of it. So, this is good for you to release all that tension. Besides the scenery is beautiful, the streets of London are really picturesque. Walking like this makes you enjoy the moment more while filling your eyes with all these beautiful things and buildings. Stop thinking negatively and then look around, look at the positive side of things. It will surely loosen you up."

"Right." He responded shortly and sighed, he just quietly followed as they continued walking.

"You want me to point out things out here that could make this walk bright and fun?" I asked with a big smile on my face. He halted instantly and stared at me intently. Then he liked his lips before moving his gaze away. My forehead creased, brows knotted,"What was that look for?"

"Nothing." He replied and gulped, looking ahead of us this time.

"Did I say something wrong...again?" I asked hesitantly and looked down. The confidence I had gained earlier to engage him in a conversation was slowly leaving my body.

"H-huh?“ He blurted out upon hearing my question. I heard him sigh before I felt his thumb lifting my chin up so I could face him."You didn't, okay? It's...it's just me..."

"What about it?" I asked, a bit confused of his reaction.

"I don't know. Maybe...maybe I'm just not used to seeing you talking to me comfortably. Often times we just argued and seeing you smile at me and talk to me like we had never fought before...just...makes me...speechless...I think. And I...I somehow like it." He replied.

"L-like it?" I stupidly echoed his last words.

"Yeah. I like how you smile comfortably and talk to me." He said with a small smile on his face too. I saw how he tried his best to express himself through his words this time and I really appreciated that.

I can't believe he's opening up his thoughts to me right now. I thought and giggled inside.

"Oh. It's fine then." I reacted because I was also rendered speechless and so I looked away because I felt heat on my cheeks. Calming down myself, I nodded and walked ahead of him, smiling.

"Natz..." He called out my name and walked faster to catch up. I had to mentally slap myself from giggling.

"Hmmm?“ I managed to respond, acting like I wasn't affected by his words.

"Er-" He started and was hesitant to say something but then decided to continue, "You said you would point out things out here that would make this walk bright and fun. So, why don't you start?"

"Owww. Right." I replied and smiled shyly. Then I looked up and pointed at the sky. "The sky, the clouds, the sun!"

"The sky, clouds and the sun?" He asked, his brows pulled together.

"I read that London weather is not always fun and it could get cloudy and rainy for days, specially this season. So, seeing the blue sky and white clouds and the bright yellow sun, it surely makes this walk more fun." I explained and laughed at my own reasoning."Don't you think?"

"Hmm. Point taken. What else?" He replied while nodding, his expression didn't looked convinced.

"The architecture of all this buildings and establishments. I love how classic they look as if we can somehow have a little foretaste of the past." I answered and happily moved my hands around like I was showing them to him exclusively. "See those street lamps and the designs of the structures? Doesn't make you think of how was life in the past?"

"That I can agree. The classical feels is really good." He responded and that made me wanna talk more, as if his words ignited my passion to talk and open up more even if I don't really normally do so.

"Very true. I actually often think about life in the past before, when I was younger. I would often ask myself, like, what if I was born in the past centuries instead of now? Would I be able to fit in better? Would I feel more that I really belong? Silly things like that." I replied solemnly and then laughed."That's why I loved dressing up in long skirts and more conservative clothing. I have budged my eyes out reading classical books and let my imagination run wild until it flawed my eyesight and couldn't live normally without my big spectacles. I remember my mother scolding me for over reading even when the light is dim at night and warned me not to overdo it. Of course genetics is also a factor of my poor eyesight because both of my parents have poor eyesight. But my reading may have contributed a lot too. Well, I was stubborn and didn't listen. It's because reading those books are like my escape from reality. It's like my comfort that's giving me the sense of belonging that I needed while growing up. So I didn't really regret it."

Brian was just eyeing me the whole time, his lips slightly parted after I stopped talking.

"Sorry. I might have been blabbering stuff earlier. Was I too talkative?" I asked because he didn't say anything afterwards.

"No. It's totally fine. I was just surprised that you sense of style before had a deeper meaning behind it." He honestly said. "I didn't think much about it and thought that you were just a weird kid with no sense of fashion because you were always dressed like an old lady."

"Old lady??? HEY!!! You're mean!!!" I exclaimed and laughed and he also laughed with me. Then I winked at him, "At least now you know."

Then I walked ahead again, strolling happily at until I reached the corner when suddenly there was a man biking so fast towards me.

"Natalie!" I heard Brian screaming my name and was about to reach me. However, I reacted out of shock and hastily took many steps backwards without looking until I stumbled over the edge of the pavement and directly fell on the street with a loud thud.

"Ah!" I yelled as I felt the pain in my buttocks and lower back area.

"Sh*t!" I heard Brian cursing out loud a second before he run towards me and yanked me upwards to his chest while hearing an angry honking car zooming just inches from us, moving too fast.

"Ouch!" I screamed in pain during the process.

Events after events happened in a very short time and I was in a state of confusion and pain as my body hurts from the fall.

"F*ck you!!!!“ Brian cursed angrily again at the car that almost hit me, speeding away. My eyes were wide and I was still in shock as I felt Brian's overwhelming presence invading my space. His arms were wrapped around me like a shield, ready to protect me from everything that is dangerous. Then he gently rubbed his hand on my back to comfort me because I was slightly shivering after that series of events. After a minute or two of calming, he pulled away and tried to check me from top to bottom, head to toe. He looked at me worriedly, "Are you alright? Where does it hurt?"

"Wow." I finally gasped, releasing all the built up tension in my body, I felt vibrations in chest. Brian's face was full of mixed emotions. His once worried face suddenly turned mad as he glared at me.

"Are you crazy? Why did you step all the way back to the street?!" He yelled angrily, his face painted red.

"I...I was just..." I even tried to say but I myself can't also grab words to put on my mouth.

"Why aren't you more careful? D*MN IT!" He continued angrily. "You should have watched your steps or you're going to get yourself killed by being so careless!"

I felt emotional because I didn't understand why he was suddenly mad at me again. "The bike was...and then I..."

"That sh*tty bicycle!!! And that car!!! And I don't give a sh*T!!!" He screamed louder. "You almost got ran over, d*MN it!"

I flinched at his words and I didn't realize that my tears have already pooled at the corner of my eyes, threatening to spill anytime. Everyone on the street were already looking at us. I felt hurt and embarrassed. I think he realized what he's done and went silent, he was also panting like crazy. My hands curled at my garments on the side and my vision blurred as the tears eventually fell down. My mind and body was frozen.

"Natz...I...I'm..." He then started after calming himself as I felt his thumb wiping away my tears.

A struggled sob left my mouth. All emotions bombarded me like a bomb. It was all pounding out loud and I felt like my heart dropped for second as I forgot to breathe.

"Natz. Look at me. Breathe in, breathe out." Brian took over, his left hand supporting me so I can keep standing, while the other cupped my jawline so my eyes could focus on him. "Breathe in, breathe out."

I did exactly as he told me until I have truly calmed myself down.

"Are you okay? Does it hurt anywhere?" He asked once more.

I shook my head and lied and tried to move when a sharp pain shot me in the back. "Ouch!"

"Sh*t!" Brian cursed once again before pulling out his phone. Then I just heard his agitated voice, yelling at his assistant to go back our way and pick us up this instant.

I really wanted to stop him but I also feared the sharp pain shooting my body and I also couldn't dismiss that. I grabbed his hand desperately for support and I saw his worried face when he looked at me. I can feel my sweat forming in my forehead as my vision turned blurry and I felt dizzy.

"N-Natz?" I still heard him say before I finally lost it and fainted.

***

"Hey, hey, hey." Caroline teased as soon as her eyes landed on me. I was simply walking down the stairs when her group suddenly surrounded me. "Isn't she our famous heiress who's loved and favored by the O'Donnells?"

I mentally sighed. I was wrong to take this route going down. It is really a very unlucky day for me. I just hope they do their insults fast or else, if I get home late again, he can use it as a means to yell at me. I sighed inwardly again as I faced these girls, then my fear of them followed almost instantly. For the past few months ever since I step foot on this University, they all have been secretly bullying me just because a news leaked that I am betrothed to the one and only Brian O'Donnell.

“She is indeed." Ella replied and mockingly looked at me."Huh. Have you been hiding from us lately? We haven't really seen you that much. Right, girls?"

"Right. Maybe she started to be ashamed of her sh*tty looks and so she wanted to suddenly hide it and avoid everyone." Another of them answered and they all laughed as if it was really funny.

"So...where is your boyfriend?" Caroline asked, her hand going up my face. I immediately closed my eyes in fear. I felt her take my scattered hair away from my face to the back of my ear. "Or should I say, your Fiancé???"

Everyone of them laughed once again. I can hear the sound of mocking in their laughter. I remained silent and decided to just let them do what they wanted. I just prayed that it would be fast. I became used to it anyway.

"Ah!" I cried in pain when I felt someone yank a portion of my hair with great force. My eyes automatically opened and I saw Caroline's evil smirk.

"You gotta answer me when I'm talking to you, b*tch!" She exclaimed and gave me a glare.

"I...I do not know...where." I stuttered as I tried to suppress myself from crying.

"Ow. You didn't know?" One of them interjected. "Joanna is back. And most likely, she's maybe enjoying your fiancé's company right now."

Joanna is back. She actually got a week off school because she is an athlete. An archer. A very good one for that matter. And she needed to represent the Institution for a National Competition.

"Poor you. I really don't know how Brian is still able to put up with you." Caroline muttered as she looked at me in disgust. "Your mere presence irritates me. In fact, it irritates everyone. No one likes you here. Nobody even bothers to befriend you."

I gulped my emotions. Because at the very least, I didn't really want them to see me cry. Even though there is truth in what she said.

It is true that I look like a wanna be stupid girl who is forcefully matched to one of the idols in this University.

It is true that Brian is just trying his very best to put up with me.

It is also true that my mere presence irritates everyone.

It is also a fact that I have no one, no friends. Nobody really likes me.

All of the above were actually true. And it hurts to hear it as if it was slapped hard on my face. But it was the truth. And the truth hurts.

"Are you crying?!" I heard Caroline angrily yell and all of them started laughing.

Their faces, their looks, everyone looking at me, I felt like I suddenly couldn't breathe. I didn't even realize that I was already crying. I just had lots of emotions bombarding my inner senses and nothing sinks in. I tried to gasp for air but I couldn't. My eyes were just wide in shock as I continued to struggle.

"And what kind of drama is this? Do you really think that if you cry and try to play victim, we will change our minds about you?" Caroline remarked but her voice started to sound garbled as if she's speaking underwater.

"I know right. What a desperate move, b***h!" Ella added and they continued to laugh at me.

Just then, I jolted when I felt the gush of water that suddenly poured on my head, wetting my hair and clothes, including my already blurry glasses.

The clapped their hands behind her and laughed heartily.

"Geez. I never really thought that you would pour that on her." One of then commented after her laughter died down.

"Why not? I wouldn't wanna waste Ruthie's effort of taking the sh*tty water from the toilet bowl, right?" Caroline mocked and smirked, dropping the empty bottle to the ground. Her eyes glared at me and I trembled, anxiety took over me. "The sh*tty water just found its way back to where it belongs. A trashy toilet."

Then she motioned her hand where one of her friends brought out a spray of alcohol. They were still laughing and calling me names while Caroline cleaned her hands. Right then, I was taken aback when she pointed the alcohol at me and suddenly spraying it all over me.

"Ah!" I exclaimed in shocked.

"Tsk! Even if I pour out all of this on you. It will not be able to disinfect your trashy smell!" She bantered and continued spraying like I was the most disgusting creature that ever existed.

My knees wobbled as I weak due to the lack of air in my lungs. And so I slumped down as she continued assaulting me with the spray bottle.

" WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE???!!!" A thundering voice echoed throughout the stairs and the walls of the building. It was a voice that was obviously so familiar to me. It is no other than him. Brian. The last person that I wanna see right now.

I am already a loser. And now this happened.

"B-Brian..." Caroline muttered softly, her voice glazed with fear and shock.

"What the hell were you doing to her just now, Caroline?" Brian angrily asked once more as he slightly pushed her away from me and standing in front of me.

"It was her fault! She was...she was telling everyone and boasting to everyone that she is your fiancé!" Caroline reasoned right away, she sounded so sincere as if what she's claiming was the whole truth. "She was so full of herself and we were just teaching her a lesson!"

"Huh!" Brian expressed and sarcastically smiled at them. "And you think by doing this you can stop this girl from marrying me?"

"What?!" Caroline blurted out.

"You know what...just leave!!!" Brian angrily yelled and the girl stepped back, shock and fear were written all over their faces.

"But...but Brian-" Caroline tried to say but was immediately cut off by a booming voice.

"I said f*ck off, Caroline! F*CK OFF, ALL OF YOU!!!! F*CKING LEAVE!!!" Brian interrupted angrily and they all scurried away, leaving just the two of us in a second.

I covered my face in shame as soon as they were gone and I tried to steady my irregular breathing. Suddenly, a hand forcefully pulled me up, then he made me face him.

"Are you really that weak to let those girls make fun of you like this?" Brian angrily asked, his eyes burning with irritation. "Why the hell would you allow them to do this to you?“

" I...I was...just...I'm sorry." I stuttered and my breathing constricted once more. I really hate confrontations. Much more, I don't feel so stable at the moment.

" I cannot believe you! Everytime you just make me so mad!!!" Brian continued.

I wanted to answer him but my heart and lungs could no longer take it. I tried to gasped for air and failed.

"N-Natalie?" Brian asked, his voice laced with concern this time, he must noticed my struggle.

"C-can't...breathe." I tried to say and he was alarmed.

"Sh*T!" He cursed before gently cupping my face. "Breathe, Natz. Breathe. In and out. In and out."

He said that repeatedly and it echoed through my head like a mantra. I followed his voice and did what he told me until I finally calmed down.

"It's okay. We can take it slowly. Alright?" He reassured me. His voice was the gentlest they've been and I can now see finally relax too.

"Thank you..." I said softly afterwards.

I just heard him sigh before I saw his hand slowly reaching out to my face. I tilted my head to avoid his touch and he was a bit surprised and confused when I did.

"D-don't...touch it." I started, my voice croaked due to crying. His brows knitted as he eyed me. So I continued to explain. "The...the water...from the toilet bowl. It's...dirty."

"What?!" He blurted out and looked mad again. He let out a lot of curse, his jaw clenched afterwards. Then he turned around, took a deep breath before facing me again. Looking at me intently, his eyes suddenly become gentle. Then I felt the back of his hand gently drying my tears.

"You're like a lost wet chick." He commented as he stared at me. "Let's go home, you gotta change or Mom would not let me off if you get fever after getting soaked like this."

He let out another sigh when I nodded.

***

"Yes, mom. The doctor said she was just shock for the turn of events and fainted. Besides, after checking, she had a very low blood pressure which added up to the already complicated situation." I heard Brian say, his back was facing me as he talked over the phone. My head still feels a bit dizzy and I can feel bits of pain in my body here and there."Yeah. Don't stress yourself. They've already checked she only got scratches of her elbows and then hurt her back and sprained her legs. Yes. I know. The doctor said a few days bedrest will make her recover. Yes. They gave her pain relievers that she can use if her back severely hurts. Yes. She is fine now. No, Mom. Nothing is broken. She didn't break any bones, okay? Alright. Don't worry. I'll take care of her. I promise. I will let her talk you when she wakes up. Hmmm. Yes. Alright, Mom. Bye."

I didn't know but I panicked a little and decided to pretend that I'm still asleep. I heard his footsteps towards me. Then I felt my blanket being fixed, covering me up.

"You're gonna fine, Natz. I'll make sure of it." Brian said softly before I heard a sigh.

I smiled inwardly despite my body aches.

How fine do you want me to be, Brian?

***