Flashbacks: Head Versus Heart

Chapter Five: "I Meant It."

I plugged my phone in, set my alarm, put my pillow back on the bed, and crawled in. I was trembling. Colt went through his dresser and changed into a pair of shorts, he had his back to me, but he wasn’t using much discretion.

I hope he didn’t catch sight of me staring at him. I took in every detail of him... his chest was much broader than before. He’d really filled out the last few years. His hair was a big longer than he normally kept it, but still cleaned up.

I noticed he had gotten a tattoo on his back, that ran from his shoulder blade down his side to his hip. That really must have hurt. He had put some weight on since high school, but he was still very fit. He didn’t look like the teenaged boy I fell in love with, but the man I dreamt of always being with. He had grown up so much physically in the last two years.

Something about him has always captivated me. He climbed into bed next to me, turned on his side and started talking to me like nothing had changed. I wanted so badly to play it cool and stand my ground, but I couldn’t. I just started laughing and talking like we always had.

Before I knew it, I was falling asleep. 

Colt placed his hand on the side of my face and kissed my forehead as I was dozing off. Why did he do that? Did he think I was asleep? Why was I okay with it? I felt him place his arm around me, and move in closer…

I felt so safe and comfortable. What the hell was happening?

We must have forgot to shut the curtain because that damn sun came barreling in. Colt got up and shut the curtain, after looking out of the window for a moment. He said Vera must have been working still, because her car wasn’t back yet. He came back to bed, and put his arm around my waist and pulled me close to him.

“What are you doing?” I asked with a snide tone.

“What do you want me to do?” He laughed with the most confident smirk on his face.

“Don’t get fresh with me, Colt Mason.” I shot back with sass, but he didn’t seem to mind, since he grabbed my face and began to kiss me like we were in some cliché romance movie. My whole body trembled.

“Colt…” I looked him directly in the eyes. There was something, almost a sadness in his eyes when he looked back at me, with the sun coming in on him, the flecks of blue in his eyes radiated.

“I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do…”

“What is happening here, Colt? I don’t even know if you have a girlfriend, you don’t know if I’m with anyone. Seriously, what are we doing?”

“I don’t have girlfriend, okay? I know you don’t have a boyfriend, because I ask my sister about you, all the time. She would have told me. Honestly, I wouldn’t give a s**t if you did.”

“You ask about me?” I ignored his last comment.

“Every time I talk to Vera. Peri, I want to know you’re happy and you’re doing alright without me.” I couldn’t believe he said this, I am doing alright without him, but I would be better with him.

“Colt, I ask about you too…” I confessed. I couldn’t hold back how I felt any longer.

It wasn’t doing me any good keeping it to myself. He brought his forehead to mine and let out a sigh before he kissed me so aggressively it took my breath away. I don’t know what’s happening, but I’m going along with it. I haven’t felt this much passion in so long. We laid there for a while, kissing and cuddling before Colt pulled me closer, and placed his hand between my thighs.

I couldn’t breathe again.

My whole body was on fire, the way he looked at me, the way he touched me – no one could turn me on like he could. He pushed one of my legs away from me, and brought his hand to my panty line and looked at me for approval to continue, and I didn’t stop him. I was pretty sure I shaking at this point.

Things were happening so fast. I needed to stop thinking about it all, and relax so I could enjoy the moment. Colt continued to remove my panties, and brought his hand back between my legs while positioning himself on top of me. He placed his free hand on the side of my face and kissed me with such love and purpose, I basically melted.

He knew exactly how to touch me. He brought his hand from between my legs to my chest and looked me in the eyes. I grabbed on to his rugged upper arms to acknowledge what was about to happen. He leaned down and started kissing my neck while he slid himself inside me. It had been quite a while for me, I knew Colt could tell, since I let out a loud gasp, as my eyes widened and I bit his shoulder.

I couldn’t control the moans I was letting out. Colt continued to caress my entire body while thrusting into me. Quickly he grabbed my hips and flipped me onto him, while still inside me. Colt intertwined his hands in mine to steady my body. I arched my back with intense pleasure, I was ready to c****x at any time.

Colt grabbed on to my hips and pulled me down hard on to him. I moaned his name loudly as I found release. He pulled me down to his chest while still inside me. I realized then that we must have gotten off together, caught up in the moment. Colt grabbed the back of my head and kissed me again while finally withdrawing himself.

“Peri, I meant it.” I had no idea what he was talking about, did he mean what he said, or the s*x?

“I still care about you.” Oh, there it was, his half-hearted guilt knife, right in the gut.

“I care about you, Colt.” I said this as I got up, completely naked, to go take a shower… Colt pulled me back to him, and kissed me again. What was this? He ‘cares’ about me? Is that some half-assed way of saying he doesn’t love me, but he doesn’t hate me? Does he not want to commit to saying he loves me after what just happened?

My head was everywhere, but here.

I had no idea what any of this meant.