Flashbacks: Head Versus Heart

Chapter Eight: Repeat.

Of course, I had to.

I sat next to him, and he laid his head on my chest, while I ran my fingers through his hair. We laid there for a while, simply holding one another, talking, laughing, and making memories. Before we knew it, we must have fallen asleep because Vera was calling both of us frantically. We had to get ready for Tommy’s party soon. I texted Vera to let her know what was going on.

Meanwhile, Colt and I snuggled for a little bit longer, before we both heard laughing. One of Colt’s roommates must have gotten home, with a girl. Colt and I joked a little about how that particular roommate always brings super strange girls home. We laughed about how typical his roommates could be, and how he often didn’t have the same interests they did.

I started getting ready for Tommy’s party. I was glad we took a little snooze, I was exhausted. Colt came in, to have a quick chat before we left. He came up from behind me, and wrapped his arms around me and looked at us in the mirror, before kissing my shoulder and walking out. Since we’ve gotten to his apartment, he’s been less of the cynical, snide, smart-ass he generally is, and more romantic. I don’t know what got into him. We finally headed out to

Tommy’s party, and stopped off to pick up some liquor. After all, that’s what we do around here on weekends; drink and have bonfires.

Since I wasn’t of legal drinking age, I had to wait in the truck while Colt went inside. I had left my car at his apartment, because he only lived a few miles from Tommy’s house. I was so excited to see our old friends. It was really going to be like old times again. Colt came out of the store as fast as he walked in, and we were on our way.

Driving to Tommy’s I absorbed so much of the scenery. Beautifully full and lush trees, blooming flowers, wild animals, and gorgeous fields of color. I missed this. How could I have traded this beauty for tall skyscrapers, busy streets, and smelly subways? Colt started talking about how fun the night would be, and I found myself drifting off into thoughts I couldn’t control. Casually laughing and agreeing with what he was saying.

I had no idea what we had been talking about. I was caught up in the reflection of the bright rays on his sunglasses. I had never been so lost in a moment than I was at that exact time. Such a delicate and perfect moment. I noticed the trees getting denser, and snapped out of it. Everything was surreal. I was hanging on to every moment waiting to wake up. I wish my brain was typical and I could live in the moment rather than analyze everything like I do.

When we pulled up to the party, others were arriving as well. There were a couple of kegs a little way from a big bonfire that was being set up. Party cups and markers. A few guys even set a grill area up and it looked like they were ready to start cooking. Tommy’s older brother is married now. It looks like his wife is setting up a giant jungle juice punch bowl… and that is exactly where I see myself heading.

“Peri. I don’t plan on drinking much, if at all… so enjoy yourself. I’ll drive us back. ” Colt smiled at me while reassuring me that I could enjoy myself as much as I wanted to. I really needed a drink. So much has happened in the last 24 hours of my life. Nothing is making sense to me. Hell, maybe I was still asleep and I’ve dreamt all of this.

It was really nice catching up with everyone. Almost as if we had picked up right where we left off. That’s the great thing about small town friends, they don’t forget you and you never forget them. The same inside jokes still apply, familiar laughs ignite memories in your soul that you didn’t remember you had, smells from a bonfire and whiskey laughs bring you back to a time when things were much simpler.

I must have lost track of time mingling with everyone, because I was really starting to feel tipsy. I decided to try and find Colt, since I hadn’t seen him in a while. It seemed like I had looked everywhere for him before noticing him talking to another girl. They seemed friendly, not overdoing it… but I could tell they weren’t just friends. She was tall, hell – much taller than I was. She had long brown hair, bronzed skin, and from where I was standing she had a great figure.

I watched from afar from awhile, while they laughed. I wondered who she was, I had never seen her around before I left. I had no idea what to do. My chest felt tight. I needed to drink more, to get this taste of insecurity out of my mouth, and silence the voice inside of my head telling me how stupid I was for thinking everything instantly go back to being ‘normal’. I found the closest bottle of whiskey and just started chugging. I could feel my throat burning but I didn’t care.

Apparently, I wasn’t as much of a hard-ass as I thought I was, I grabbed a coke from the cooler under the table… I found myself having a mountain of thoughts running through my head; he told me he wasn’t interested in anyone. I asked him flat out if he was seeing anyone. Who’s this girl? I felt my fists clenching. I swear, if he was lying to me…

I decided to get closer so I could hear what they were talking about. I needed to calm my crazy down before I did something I would regret. I tried to smoothly move into the crowd dancing by the bonfire.

“Peri! There you are. ” I turned to see Colt gesturing toward me.

“Yep. Here I am.” I looked grimacing at this random girl.

“Peri, this is Monica. She used to date one of my frat brothers, Brad – you’d really like her.” Would I really like her? What’s so great about her? Why did I instantly think negatively about her? What if I really did like her, we could end up being best friends and I wouldn’t even know because I’m too much of a b***h to think anything positive about the situation.

“Hey Peri, how are you?” she smiled calmly at me, while glancing all around, until making direct eye contact with me.

“Hello… how’s it going?”

“Not bad! I heard these parties can get rather wild! I can’t imagine them being any worse than the parties I’m used to seeing Colt and Brad at. ” She laughed and looked right at Colt and nudged him with her elbow.

He laughed awkwardly while walking closer to me. He came up to me as if he were planning to kiss me – but instead he put his forehead against mine and whispered in almost a low growl, “meet me back at my truck in like 10 minutes, I want to talk to you.”

Damn, he must be able to tell I’m irritated. I nodded, and he pulled me in closer, with his hand on the small of my back. Before I could realize what was happening he kissed the breath right out of my lungs.

“It was good to see you again, Monica. Thanks for stopping by.” He gave her a little wave as he walked away before she could even finish responding. The second he got out of earshot, I knew she was going to interrogate me.